Let Me Be Who I Am

Rhena POV: I sat in the seat on a flight leaving the city where i live for a long time. This place is hell, I feel so happy that I leave this place and get my freedom. I hate this city, I can't be the real me. Living in a homophobic city where they still uphold their religious teachings and force what they believe on to others is a nightmare. It's really bad when you can't hold your gay lover's hand or kiss your lover whenever you want. You have to keep your relationship like a secret because that a crime here and it can be bad if everyone know you are gay. If you live in my city you cannot be gay, if someone know you are gay your life will be ruined and you will definitely suffer the consequences. Homophobic people will force you to get white clothes and punish you. They openly whipped gay couples, which was totally disgusting. It sad because no one will help and people will witness gay couples get their punishment. I really hate that, how can they punish someone cruelly like that just because their religious teachings tell them to do it. I lost my mind how crazy humans are like they punish gay couples so cruelly. People like me who don't like to see the cruelty of gay couples can't really say what we want to say. I remember one girl being blasphemed by countless people online on her video for saying this punishment was disgusting. Indeed this is disgusting, how can they whip a gay couple tens or even hundreds times just because they are gay. Don't they understand love is love. Since I was a child, that kind of religion was taught to me by my family, but I'm not very religious. Now since I watch gay people get punishment because their sexualitas i don't believe my religion again. I still believe in god but I don't like people acting like they are saints and punishing people like that for their sexuality. Realizing that I was gay from the start was difficult, it was a nightmare for me because I didn't have anyone to ask about my problems. I started asking if I should stick to the religious teachings that I had since I was a child, according to what I learned from childhood, liking the same s*x is wrong and a big sin, God will hate me and I will go to hell. I was confused about whether I was really sick or possessed by a genie as homophobic people say to same-s*x lover ? Thank goodness I found w*****d and found lesbian stories there, some stories even true stories. I feel happy knowing that kind of love is out there, I smile happily knowing how same-s*x couples are accepted and can marry their love. It is truly amazing to know that there is a place out there where same-s*x love is not seen as a disease. I started accepting myself and said I wasn't sick, there was nothing wrong with me. Actually, I am afraid leaving my city and go to another place, I am afraid to be called a terrorist because my past religion, even though at this time I have started to dislike the religion that I learned from my childhood. I just want other people not to judge me just because of the religion I am Learning and forced to study because of my family. I witnessed so many people who lost precious people to evil humans. They kill someone because they wish to go to heaven, how can you go to heaven to kill people?, I just don't understand what's on their mind. I kissed my daughter's Alina head gently, i adopted her since her mother passed away. She is my best friend's daughter. Sad to see this little angel lost her mother in the hands of her crazy father. I never liked my best friend husband, he's a crazy person. It's okay to be possessive because jealousy is normal but too much is not good. I never thought that bastard would shoot my best friend dead just because he jealousy saw my best friend talk with other man. I was really angry and wanted to kill that jerk but he committed suicide in prison, so cowardly and selfish. How dare he kill himself and run away from his own troubles. Whatever the problems in your life please remember suicide is not the answer. Your life is not only yours alone, it belongs to those who love you sincerely. Don't be selfish, if you kill yourself it means that you kill people who also love you slowly with pain and guilt that never leaves their hearts. No matter how bad you are, there are still people who love you. Even if you don't have anyone now, believe me that one day everything will be fine. Tell people about problem and get help. Don't be shy of being weak, you cant always be stong just remember we are only human not superhuman. Even superhumans have weaknesses I would lying if I said I'm a forgiving person. Sometimes it's not enough just to forgive person who hurt you, the only way is to punish them and make them feel devastated. Everyone has their own way of dealing with those who hurt them, never force them to forgive, forgiveness comes from the heart and not forced. For now I can't forgive him for what he did but I always believe someone deserves a second chance, We are only human. If that bastard doesn't kill himself, I'll make him suffer in prisson before get him the second chance to make his life better. "Don't be afraid, I'll help you." My brother took my hand and squeezed it for support. I smiled at my brother. If it weren't because him, I couldn't leave this city. We were separated since childhood because our parents divorced. I don't even remember his name because I was so little. I was shocked when we met for the first time, he introduced himself to me and said our father died and left a lot of money for us. I didn't know how to treat him at first, we are siblings connected by blood but I couldn't treat him like family because we were separated for a long time. After my best friend died and left her daughter, I called my brother and asked for his help. He's a cop and knows a lot of people. He introduced me to someone who could help me get custody of Alina. Alina is not alone, she still has her grandparents, but I don't want them to raise her. My best friend's family did not admit it when she married her husband because she was pregnant before marriage. Even though I am only 20 years old and don't know how to take care of other Humans I believe with the money that my father left behind, I can give this little baby a better life more than if she lived with her grandparents. My biggest regret is never expressing that I love my best friend more than a friend, I feel like she also loves me more than a friend. Our feelings its complicated, no one dared to tell anything about our true feelings because we live in a homophobic city. Now there's no use regretting what happened, i lost my best friend forever. I promise I will take good care of her daughter like she mine, I will let her love someone she likes regardless of their gender. *** 5 YEARS LATERS I wiped the sweat on my forehead, phew... this day its really tired. After leaving my old town, I opened a small business. My brother wanted me to run my father's company, but I didn't want it. I want to make my dream of owning a cafe come true. I want to meet lots of people and interact with them. I am the boss here but nobody knows except my brother and his boyfriend's. Yes, my brother is gay too, he have poly relationship with his two boyfriend's. I couldn't believe it when he told me for the first time. I cried like a baby heard that news, my brother is confused saw why im crying and his face pale because he thought I didn't accept his sexuality. After I calmed down myself I told my brother everything. He heard my explanation and cried after that. He hugged me and apologized, he blamed himself for finding me late. He said if he found me a little faster, I wouldn't have gone through it all myself. I said it wasn't his fault but it was our parents' fault or rather my mother's fault. After getting divorced and getting custody, she didn't take good care of me. Luckily my brother was taken care of by our father and he had a better life me.  Our mother was disappointed with the failure of her marriage. She is obsessed with having a complete family and not stopping marrying other men to fulfill her obsession. Since I was young, I saw my mother looking for another man to marry, if the marriage failed she would find another man to marry again. My father he is loyal and still loves my mother. But my mother left my father because he was not rich and other problem in their marriage life. I think my dad was angry about it and obsessed with working over and over to get rich until he died. "Mommy." I stop what i do when i heard my little angel voice. "Hei Alin baby" i take her from my brother and kiss her cheeck. "You're be good girl right and not naughty at uncle's house or you make problem in their house ?" I kissed her cheek repeatedly with much love. "Alin good girls are not naughty, promise i don't make uncle get problem." She giggled because I was still kissing her cheek. I looked at my brother for confirmation and he nodded his head. "Hey Rhe, are you busy tonight." He sat down and asked me, I pulled up a chair and sat down too. I can see the gaze of my coworkers who are annoyed to see me relaxing at work. But they can't scold me because they know my brother is the boss here. That's my request to tell him to pretend to be the boss of the cafe that I have. I don't want people to know we are sibling because of how rich my brother is and how much money I have from my father. I don't want to have friends who are only friends with me because of the amount of money I have. I want to find friends like my best friends who are friends with me because of what I have and not how much money I or my family have. I need real friend not fake friend. "You know I always have free time when my work is done." I saw him waiting for what he needed. "Can you join me tonight." he asked shyly. Several of my co-workers turned their heads to us and gave me angry and jealous glances. Who wouldn't be jealous if a handsome "Boss" took his employees out at night. They know my brother already has a lover but there are still many who are trying to get him. Well maybe because of how rich my brother is and still me there are stupid people who think they can make gay people straight. "I want you to meet my boyfriend's family." "Who, Marcus or Lucas." I asked him excitedly. My brother boyfriend's parents are very nice, they love me and treat me like their daughter, maybe because they don't have a daughter so they love me a lot. "Not them," he gave me a terrified look. "Did you break up with Marcus and Lucas? What happened? Since when? Why didn't I know about that?" I looked at him with a confused face, I know how much they love each other so I was shocked to hear the news. "We didn't break up, i found my third boyfriend." "Are Marcus and Lucas not enough for you, oh .. Are them getting weak and cant control you in bed?" I stare at him without blinking and grin seductively. "No, no, nothing like that. They are very good in bed even very nice." his face flushed as he said that. "What he name." I change the Topic. "Leon, he has a sister who is beautiful and also gay. I told him I have a younger sister and want to introduce you two." "Are they know I have a 5 years daughter and are they know my fetish too" Women run away from me when they know i have 5 years daughter and when i says them i want poly relationship with more than one girls. "She already met me, Marcus and Lucas. She knows her brother has 3 boyfriend's, so I don't think this girl will run away if you say you want a poly relationship." "What about her parents." I asked anxiously because I know that many relationships ended because their parents dont like their child lover. "They are orphans just like us." My brother smiled at me. Even my mother is still alive, We feel like orphans because we don't know where our mother is and who is the man in her life this time she chose to marry again. "Don't worry sis, this time it will work. Finally you will get the girlfriend's like what you want. Look at me we succeeded in this relationship and even found our third boyfriend. " I just smiled and stroked Alina's head who was sleeping soundly in my arms. I don't want to expect much, sometimes what we hope for doesn't always come true. And what happens in real life is not as sweet as we would like in our dreams.