Let Me Be Who I Am

Chapter 7

Third Person POV:

In Parker's family house, Elena( Rhena's birth mother) could only sit there silently facing her children's  harsh rejection. Her heart breaks knowing the bad things that happened to her daughter. Older woman couldn't believe her father could do that to her own granddaughter. And how could her mother beat her granddaughter every day out of jealousy.  Her daughter she only 11 year old and in her age Its impossible she have s****l thoughts for her own grandfather. Elena felt that everything was her fault, she was not there to protect her little girl.

Now she knows getting forgiveness from her daughter seems impossible. She doesn't know what else she can do to improve the relationship with her two children. She can only pray to God that one day her two children can forgive her.  She really Miss to hear them call her "mama".

Meanwhile, Josie only saw her stepmother crying in her father's arms in silence. Her father was messed up since the death of her mother while giving birth to her but everything changed when Elena came into their lives.. She was only 8 years old when her father met Elena. As far as she can remember at that time her father saved Elena from her husband, Elena's previous husband was someone who was possessive and very rude. He is a man who acts like a king. Everything something must be served. Elena is the person who does all household chores without anyone's help. Her husband did not allow to hire a housemaid, he said it was the wife's job so there was no need to waste money for maid. Even while eating, the man asks to be served and does not want to take his own food or pour a drink in his glass. He want everything must be elena who serves. It is disgusting for a husband to treat their wives like servants.

Josie remembers how Elena looked at that time. Her body was thin as if she was malnourished and every night she always cried while hugging her old family portrait. Elena's situation now is much different from before. It took 2 years for Elena to trust her father until finally the two of them could not lie to their true feelings and decided to get married. Josie saw how her father was happy again with Elena's presence. Elena manages to make her father happy again and for that Josie wants to get back and help her stepmother make up with the kids.

On the other side in rhena apartment Ara and Rain are worried about Rhena who hasn't come home. The two of them don't know where the girl they love has gone. Rhena refuses to go home with them and chooses to go with her big brother..

The sound of the apartment door opening made them both turned towards the door. There Rhena looked very chaotic while hanging by her brother's side. She looked so drunk, the encounter must have hit her so hard and make she drank the alcohol she hated so much.

The two of them hurriedly took the girl they loved and put her on the sofa.

"What happened to her, why did you let her drink alcohol" Rain asked in an annoyed tone.

"Rhena wanted it, she just wanted to forget the pain she was going through. I just wanted to help her." Andi lowered his head in shame. Looks like he regrets making Rhena drink alcohol.

"But what if Rhena turns into like your father. At first it was just once to get rid of the pain but then turned into a bad habit. I don't want Rhena to change like that man who hurt the love of his life. I can't lose Rhena for the second time again. " Rain sat on the sofa and put her hands on her face. Tears flow just by imagining Rhena becoming an alcoholic and turning into a monster who hurts her loved ones. She couldn't let that happen.

"Calm down my love, trust Rhena" Ara rubbed her fiancé's head gently.

"I-I just don't want Rhena to turn into a monster like that guy"

"Both are different, Rhena will not turn into a monster. After she realized, talk about this carefully."

"I will do anything to prevent her from turning into a monster like her father" Rain wiped her tears and looked at Rhena who was sleeping on the sofa.

Rhena POV:

I woke up with pain in my head, I need very bitter coffee to get rid of this headache and wake me up. My stomach was very nauseous and I immediately ran to the bathroom to vomit. I looked at my face in the mirror which looked very messy. I smelled my body like vomit and decided to take a shower. After showering and changing clothes I followed scent of cooking food made me move towards the kitchen to meet two of my favorite girls.

"Good morning love, breakfast?" Ara set breakfast on the table.

"Where's Rain" I kissed her cheek gently before pulling up the chair and sitting down.

"SHe's out buying coffee." Ara took the plate containing the food she made and put it in front of me.

"Good morning everyone" Rain came in, carrying 3 cups of coffee in front of her and also a box of donuts. I looked at her with a judgmental look, the food that Ara made was very much and she still bought a box of donuts for herself, how much can this little girl actually eat ?. When I was in high school I was jealous of her not being able to get fat no matter how much she ate, that's not fair. While I try to lose weight by avoiding all my favorite foods, Rain can still eat as much as possible and will stay thin and slim.

"Don't look at me like this, you know I can't say no to my favorite classic donut." She smiled showing her rabbit teeth at me.

"Here comes a cappuccino without sugar mixture for you" Rain put a cup of coffee in front of me.

"You still remember my favorite" I took the coffee and gave her my breakfast.

"Of course I remember, you really like cappuccino with a little sugar or no sugar. It's very bitter, what's good about coffee like that?"

"It's delicious, I feel so refreshed every time I drink it" I took a delicious sip of my coffee, not noticing Ara's gaze at me.

"Why did you give her your breakfast, is the food not to your taste?" Asked Ara looking hurt.

"It's not that baby, I just can't eat it" I said as I took another sip of the coffee Rain gave me.

"Why is your stomach still not feeling good from alcohol last night, I have medicine if you need it" Ara looked so worried and rushed off to get the medicine. 

"That's not the problem, I just can't have breakfast" I held her hand to stop her to get some medicine.

"Don't force her baby, since the past Rhena never had breakfast in the morning. She can only eat after 12 noon.".

"Why is that happened, is that normal for you?"

"It's normal, my stomach can't accept solid food in the morning. And if I insist on having breakfast then my stomach will hurt all day long. You know how painful it is when girl get menstruating, that's how I feel if I stick to breakfast."

"Is it okay for you, what if you pass out because you don't have breakfast"

"It's no big deal, I can still work even though I don't have breakfast."

"Fine if it's not dangerous for you" Ara looked at me one more time before sitting down and starting to eat her breakfast. Both seemed silent enjoying breakfast while I just sat and sipped my coffee.

"Why did you drink alcohol last night?" Rain looked at me while wiping her mouth after finishing her breakfast while Ara just stared at the two of us silently.

"You both know why," I replied indifferently.

"Do you want to be like your father Rhe?"

"Of course not, he's a cruel man who hurt love of his life. I would never be someone like that"

"Are you sure?" Rain looked at me skeptically.

"What do you really want to say?"

"Your father he was a sweet guy before but changed since becoming an alcoholic. I'm just afraid you become like him"

"But I only drank once, it's no big deal"

"This is indeed your first time drinking, because it has to be stopped before it gets bad. We both grew up with family teachings that alcohol is a demonic drink and bad for health"

"I still remember it clearly, sorry I promised not to drink again."

"You can drink when the situation is really bad and the desire to forget the pain is too strong, I won't forbid it but promise you won't drink alone. Me and Ara will watch over you and prevent you from becoming an alcoholic, promise us that."

"I promised to do it, sorry I drank .. It's just that seeing my mother happy with her new family made me lose my sanity ... This is not fair, all this is really unfair .... My heart hurts to see her happy face when she calls that girl her daughter ... That girl wasn't even her real child, she didn't give birth to her ... Me and my sister we are both her biological daughters ... It's really cruel to abandon the child you gave birth to and be happy with someone else's child who isn't your blood ... "She should be never leave our side, it's her job to protect ya. Because of her I experienced things that I shouldn't have experienced in my childhood. This memory why doesn't disappear from my head, I want to forget and get a little peace. Is my request too much ?. "

"Please don't cry, your tears are too precious .. Don't cry over those who don't care about you ... Your pain belongs to us too, don't hesitate to share your problems with us" The soft hand of fig wiped my tears.

"Why can't she survive for us. What my father did is so bad but why should she punish us. Couldn't she take me and my brother away." My tears can't stop coming out.

"Your mother was pregnant at the age of 18 just a few months before the graduation exam. She dropped out of school and couldn't get a good job because she didn't have a diploma. She was economically dependent on your father to live. Divorce and losing your father messed up your mother. Without a proper job your mother was forced to raise 3 children all of which must be hard for your mother. Maybe that's the reason she gave your brother to your father so that the burden is not too heavy. "

"But she's gone, trouble is she's gone leave us"

"Your mother would want to experience freedom, forget it. Everything has passed, don't hurt yourself with hatred." 

"If she wants to be free can't she hand the three of us over to my father or my paternal grandmother?"

"Your mother she trusts her parents, don't blame your mother. She never thought her mother and father would do such a bad thing to you? ... Make peace with your pain for your own mental health."

"I'll try, do you two think I need to see a psychologist for my problem?"

"If it can help you like how you managed to solve your anger problem then do it."

"I think it's necessary to get rid of these bad thoughts and help me get better" I nodded my head confidently to be free from past injuries. I will do everything I can to be better and be free from the ghosts of the past. It's not good if I keep this hatred in my heart. Maybe I should give my mom a chance to come back into my life.

"Then we'll find the best psychologist for you" they both smiled at me.