Rough Desire

Chapter 17

Dean pov:

Do you know that feeling when everything in you is telling you to stop, to change directions but still your stupid ass self still jumps right in. Yep that's exactly how I feel right now, matter of fact that's how I felt every time I was around Ava.

I had sworn I wouldn't break, wouldn't give in to the temptations of f*****g her again, no matter how bad I wanted to pin her down underneath me. I never planned on making her mine, not in one way or another. I honestly wanted nothing to do with her purely because of how easily she made me forget everything I had stood for all these years. But when I saw that asshole put his hands on her I lost it. 

I was over here minding my own business, working out like any normal person would when I saw her strutting in, and damn was she looking good! I loved the way her small curvy ass looked in those tight little shorts, f**k! All I could think about was bending her over my knee and giving it a nice big spank. She hadn't noticed me though and following her gaze I realized it was because she was too busy smiling and fluttering her eyes at him. Of course he went straight over to where she was working out after that little show she did, and I could tell he was ready to make a move on her. I was still somehow calm at this point but then she just had to hop right into his arms didn't she. I could see him rubbing himself all on her and I just couldn't take anymore of it. I was seeing red!

 Unexpectedly the second she was in my arms without doing anything she was able to calm me down. I could feel her hands on me and for some reason it was making my whole body tingle for more, I was confused how easy it was for her to control me like this and what was worse was that she didn't even seem to realize the power she had over me. Even with all this happening around us she still had me lost in my own thoughts and then I heard him call her a b***h. 

How dare that sorry excuse of a man call her.... call my girl a b***h! I wanted to kill him and if those other guys hadn't stepped in I actually might have I was so angry. I could feel myself getting worked up all over again and I took a deep breathe as I tried to clear it out of my mind. That was all in the past now and I had more important things that should be on my mind.

I took my eyes from the road for a moment to steal a glace at her. Damn she was so beautiful. It seemed no matter how many times I had seen her before every time my eyes took her in I was stunned by her innocent beauty. I never thought it could be possible for someone to look so cute and so sexy at the same time, specially when they were wearing my clothes. 

I could tell there was something on her mind by the way she was staring out the car window while she subconsciously fidgeting with the edge of the tank top I had given her to wear. Part of me wanted to ask her what was wrong but the other part didn't want to confront the problem. What if it was me? What if she really didn't want to be mine anymore? I knew I had messed up, knew the way I treated her was wrong but I couldn't help that side of me when I had done it my whole life from a fear of letting people get to close to me and then leaving me behind. 

"Dean. What are we?" her voice suddenly breaking through long silence we had been sitting in.

"What?" I asked as if what she had said wasn't something I had already been expecting.

"What are we? What is this? This relationship between us?" She asked again gesturing her hands from me to her.

"There is no relationship between us." Damn my answer sounded cold even to me and I wished I could have taken it back the moment I said it.

"Then what is it we are doing?" she shouted clearly frustrated at me for not giving her any straight answers.

"This. This is all just a bit if fun." I replied calmly acting that I wasn't fazed by the obvious pain in her voice. 

"I mean I thought about what you had said the other day and realized you were right this would be beneficial to me." why was I making this sound like some business deal? " This way when I'm horny I wont have to go out looking for a f**k I'll just call you over and you could be there in an instant. Plus I feel like were on the same page when it comes to s*x and really know how to satisfy each others needs"

She listened quietly as she took in all the things I was saying and even when I finished she still didn't say anything. I stole another glance at her and felt sick in my stomach as I noticed how tense she looked. Maybe she really didn't want this anymore? Oh god. I hope she didn't feel like I was forcing her into this. No I would never do that. Had I honestly read her wrong this whole time. I couldn't help but panic a bit at the thought of her not being with me but regardless of how I felt If she truly didn't want this then I swear I wouldn't lay a finger on her ever again.

"Don't you want to be my little s*x slave?" 

I clenched my hands tightly around the steering wheel at my own stupid words. i***t that's not the way you should be asking her.

Before she had a change to answer I quickly steered the car of the road and put it in park. Turning my full attention onto her I grab her innocent little face in my hands and forced her to look me in the eyes. I could see the pain and fear written on her face and once again my stomach tightened in disgust at what I had put her through.

"Tell me honestly Ava. Do you want this?"

She stared back at me but when she didn't answer I felt like I had no choice but to rip down this wall and let her in.

"Look I can't give you a relationship, I am emotionally incapable. I feel the connection we have and I know you do to. but I just, I just can't do it." I hated admitting how I felt but it was this or letting her go and I didn't know if that was something I was ready to do " I am willing to give being friends a try with um some s*x of course. Like friends with benefits but only rougher. Think of it like we are giving each other that rough desire we need satisfied so badly but then still hanging out as friends other times as well." I took a deep breath as I prepared myself for her answer "So would you be okay with that?"

It felt like it took forever but eventually she stopped biting on he lower lip and nodded slowly. "Yes"

"Ava. Are you sure?" I had to be certain.

"Yeah. I think I want that to"

A wave of relief washed over me as I felt a huge grin form over my face.

"Good because I like the way that tight little p***y takes this big d**k"