Kisses Of Tragedy

I LOVED HIM WHEN HE HAD NOTHING Sidewalks. Footsteps. Bone-chilling whiff of the air. And his hand warmly intertwined with my right hand was already enough to make my heart moved. Honestly, walking had always been too tiring for me. I never appreciated it. Not until Sean and I became together. Walking with him everyday from school all the way to our home became our everyday routine, and I really find it sweet thinking how he can make inexpensive dates for me extra special. Well... how? Minutes later, we stopped in front of street food stalls lined up at the sidewalk of the road. With his eyes glued at the fish balls, barbecue and egg waffles displayed in each stalls, he gently squeezed my hand and shifted his gaze to me. “Love,” he said, “I'll buy you some egg waffles, you want?” I may be a daughter of a well-known business tycoon but I would never say no when it comes to egg waffles! Nodding, I said, “Yes, please!” He chuckled and pulled my arms, guiding me towards the stalls. “Miss, three cups of egg waffles, please,” he spoke as if he's really used in buying on these kind of street foods. Which, he really is. He told me before that most of the time, egg waffles or barbecues are their meal for their everyday living. “Love, here.” He handed me a plastic cup containing four rounded orange egg waffles. I smiled at him. “Thank you, love!” But he gave me an awkward smile in return. “Sorry if I could only afford street foods on our date, love.” He sounded ashamed which he shouldn't be. “Hey, it's okay. You don't really have to treat me something expensive just to impress me. Because this”—I lifted my cup—“can already make my heart flutter. Meaning, you're worth more than any money, love.” I saw his lips curved into a smile. I genuinely understand Sean's situation. When his father passed away three years ago, he started helping his mother to support their family since he is the eldest among his five other siblings. I know how gigantic his responsibility is and I'm not here to be his another burden. Understanding and loving him is what he needed. --- Today's our second anniversary so we decided to have a date in a mall. As we we're strolling around the shop's women's section, my eyes instantly sparkled from the hundreds of dazzling dresses all over the places. “Wow!” I exclaimed in awe. “Those dresses are so stunning, love!” “Hmm? Do you want one?” I felt his arm snaked around my shoulders and said, “Go pick one, love. My treat.” Without having any second thoughts, I began scanning every dresses hanged on the wall. My eyes were as if glued on the attractive dresses but it didn't escape from me when I saw him opened his wallet containing only one dollar. My heart slowly throbbed. Aw... my man. Before he could even glance back at me, I immediately shifted my gaze and pulled out the best dress I picked. “I love this, love!” I showed him a white simple dress above the knee. “Do you think this suites me?” “Of course, it will suite you very well,” he corrected, causing me to giggle. "By the way, how much is that dress for, love?” I didn't answer, instead I held his hand and pulled him towards the counter and let the saleslady punched the dress inside a paper bag. “39 dollars, ma'am, sir.” I felt Sean's body froze. But before he could even took his wallet, I stopped him and smiled. “Who told you to pay it for me, love? I am the one who's going to wear it so that means I'm the one paying it.” “But it's our second anniversary—” “So? It doesn't matter. Treat me next time but for now, I'm going to pay, okay?” He can no longer complain when I already gave the saleslady my two thousands cash. As soon as we walked out from the shop, I felt his lips brushed on my cheeks, causing my face to heat up. “I love you,” he whispered. “I'll make up to you, love, it's a promise.” I smiled. “I love you too.” I may not be that girl who will date my man even he only has one dollar—but I will be that girl who will let him keep his dollar and pay on my own. Being a burden to him is the last thing I would do. --- “Thank you for staying with me even I had almost nothing, love,” Sean said, staring at me lovingly with his head lying on my lap. “Thank you for understanding me since the day we became together.” My heart thumped as I felt the rumbling of the butterflies inside my stomach. I gently ran my fingers through his hair and played them. “No need to thank me, love,” I muttered. “This is just nothing compared to how much you're making me happy now.” His facial expression softened as if he was touched from what I've said. “Dencris...” He cupped my face and made our eyes locked to each other as he gently caress my cheek. “Of all women I have met, you're the only one who stayed with me even though I have nothing to give you. I don't know what good I've done to have you but I'm so f*****g grateful. You're my haven and my rest in this world, love. You made me feel that I'm not alone in this fight because in the end I still have you on my side.” I bit my lower lip. Funny how he can take my breath away with his words. This feeling is too indescribable and God knows, I don't want it to end. “Someday, love,” he began, “we're gonna make our dream wedding come true— we will invite all of our ex's and let them witness our wedding vows and I do's. And also, I want to be thankful to them because if they didn't break our hearts, it will never lead us to each other.” “Let's do that." I brushed my fingers through his hair and genuinely smiled. “Someday, love...” --- “...for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?” “I do, father.” “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The loud round of applause filled every corners of the church, pulling me back from the trance of our memories years ago. That's the only moment I shifted my gaze at the altar, giving me a nostalgic pain in my chest. Sean is really a man of one word—because if he doesn't, I wouldn't be here, clapping my hands for the both of them. I'm happy for him. He made his promise come true, even though he didn't do it with me. Seeing him successful, healthy and in bliss with his newly-wedded wife was as if a signal for me to finally move on, to finally accept the fact that my purpose in his life had already ended years ago. Maybe this is really bound to happen. Maybe my only role in his life was to love him when he had nothing, that's why when he already had everything—he left me.