Star-crossed Luna

AMORA The mid afternoon sky was dark and ominous, threatening to start pouring down rain any minute. The perfect sad and dreary weather for a sad and dreary day. I stayed far in the back of the crowd during the service, as far away from any attention as I could get. My uncle, dad’s younger brother, Alfred led the funeral service. He spoke about all the dumb and dangerous things they had done together as children, as well as the amazing accomplishments my father had achieved during his time as Alpha. He built up our pack from one of the smallest and unrespected packs in North America, to the most well known and revered. He had dedicated his life to this pack, bringing it back from the brink of extinction through diplomacy and new warrior training regimes. He ensured his pack would live on even after he was gone. He was ruthless but still kinda and just. Throughout my uncle’s sermon he made eye contact with me several times, despite my best efforts to remain hidden and inconspicuous. I knew what he’d wanted, for me to speak during the service as well, and I had declined, not even wanting to participate in the receiving line. I didn’t want any of the hugs, hand shakes, or condolences. I just wanted to be alone, and I waited quietly for all the sullen visitors to slowly filter out of the cemetery. I wanted my last moments with my father alone. I didn’t know how long I had been sitting there. With my knees pulled up to my chest, I stared at the newly erected tombstone in front of me, the scent of pine and newly dug earth danced around my nose. The damp soil had soaked through my dark colored skirt leaving a cold and uncomfortable feeling on my bottom, but I didn’t care. I could barely feel anything, emotionally or physically. The realization that he was gone, and I was now alone had finally sunk in. 'Alpha Galen Dellarae, a kind and wise leader’ the tombstone read. The alpha of the Aurora Borealis pack, and my father, now laid to rest. He had been sick for a long time, his death was not a surprise, though that didn’t make it any less painful. He was my best friend, my mentor and teacher, and voice of reason. And in an instant he was gone, sending my world shattering into thousands of pieces that I was desperately trying to hold together. But to no avail. Darkness soon began to creep in around me. Not even the moon was shining tonight, the Moon goddess herself was grieving. I eventually laid down, my head gently resting against the cool smooth surface of the tombstone. Exhaustion had finally caught up to me after several days of no sleep and overwhelming grief. I closed my eyes and let the pitch blackness envelop me into sleep and dreams full of once sweet memories now tainted with sorrow. I awoke with a start and fleeting moments of joy. I had a dream dad was still alive and truly believed his death was all a bad dream. Soon it all came rushing back to me and the deep agony of reality gripped me once more. I quickly wiped away the tears that had escaped me. I was done crying, done feeling, my body was an empty shell. It was still dark outside. I must have only slept a few hours. With a deep sigh I lifted myself off the ground, wiping off the dirt and debris that had clung to my clothes , and began to make my way back home. Not that it felt like home anymore. The night was eerily quiet. No birds or even wind was making a sound, only the scuffing of my flats as I walked the long dirt path that led to the pack house. The pack house stood tall among the conifers, its simple A-frame design and natural wood made it blend in amongst the conifers. Designed to match the landscape, not compete with the surrounding forests natural beauty. None of the lights were on, all the windows an unsettlingly deep dark black. Empty. Soulless. I made my way up the front stairs, across the front porch and grabbed the front door handle. I paused, reluctant to open a door I knew only held sadness and distant memories. I took a deep breath and turned the handle. Inside was heavy and dark. My heart ached being here without my father here as well. The first floor was open concept with the kitchen, living room, and dining area intermingling with the far corner sectioned off for the Beta’s suite. It was all still cluttered, untouched for several days now. As I scanned the large space my eyes fell on a familiar shape laying on the couch. I stepped closer, peeking over the back of the couch to see it was my mother, a drunken mess who appeared to have thrown up on the floor before passing out. I sighed angrily, wanting to shove her off the couch and into her own vomit but thought better of it, I’d deal with her in the morning. I made my way to the stairs and began my ascent to the loft where my room was and hastened my pace to get past the second floor where the Alpha’s Suite was located as quickly as possible. Finally reaching the loft at the apex of the A-frame, I climbed into my familiar bed. It’s warm blankets sucking me in and comforting me. My limbs felt weak and shaky and I stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours before I fell back into sleep. Warm beams of sun crept across my face as they poured in through the massive east facing window. The gentle heat and bright light dragging me out of my slumber. As I yawned and stretched I could hear muffled voices speaking somewhere down stairs. I ran a brush through my hair before throwing it up in a high ponytail and began the climb down the stairs. At the landing of the second floor I paused and listened hard. I could hear my mother still snoring away down stairs, but the voices I was hearing sounded like they were coming from this floor. I crept forward keeping my ears alert, listening as the voice became louder, more distinct. My ears lead me to my father’s office, the door just slightly ajar, and the voices now clear enough I recognized them as Uncle Alfred and Beta Paul. They seemed to be having a tense conversation. “They can’t be serious!” My uncle groaned. “Maybe. . . Maybe it could be good to lower pack tensions?” Paul offered, sounding not completely convinced. “Or we could be sending one of our own to their death and our pack into a trap. . . Don’t forget what they’ve done to us in the past.” Alfred signed. He sounded exasperated, they must have been going back and forth like this for a while, but exactly what and who they were talking about I had no clue. After a few moments of silence my uncle finally spoke again. “We should consult the Elders, get their input.” “Agreed,” Paul rubbed the back of his head, “The infamous Equinox pack, offering to house a liaison from our pack as a means to prove peace and a change of heart?” “And who would we send, this could be sentencing someone to their death,” Uncle Alfred added. There was a long pause between them. My father had worked tirelessly to improve relations with all the nearby pack territories, but the Equinox pack had been particularly difficult for my father to build up. Decades of bloody battles and ambushes over territory doesn’t just get swept under the rug. A truce had finally been made only a few years ago, but tensions between the two rivals were still high. I remember my father always struggling to stay diplomatic with the Equinox pack despite them always declaring new demands or revisions to the peace treaty. But as it seems, for once all they want is to extend an olive branch. To my uncle and Paul's credit it is incredibly suspicious , but maybe they could be our chance to finally be at peace. Maybe I could finish my father’s final wish, peace. "I’ll go!” I blurted out as I burst through the door, not fully aware of my own impulsive actions. “What?! No. Amora don’t be ridiculous,” my uncle scoffed, “there are plenty other shifters perfectly capable of-” “I’m going.” I stated again, more forceful as I found my confidence. “We don’t even know if we’re sending a liaison, just calm down and think about what you’re saying,” Paul persuaded. “I. Am. Going,” I stated again, “and IF we send a liaison? How is this even a question? This is what dad worked so hard for!” My voice was rising, my tone getting angrier. That last statement hit both of them hard. They knew I was right, “This is the opportunity dad had been waiting for to end tensions between our packs and you want to throw it away?” “Fine, we send someone, but not you, we need you here. You’re our strongest fighter. Besides, the daughter of the late alpha shouldn’t-” “No,” my voice low, almost a growl, “whatever you are about to say is bullshit and you know it.” “Amora, be reasonable, we can send Cole instead,” Paul offered, knowing his son and my childhood friend might be enough to dissuade me. “Please,” I took a deep breath, “I need to do this. I don’t know why but, I have to do this, for dad.” They both looked at each other, exchanging glances and I knew they were communicating through a mind link. “Alright,” Alfred finally sighed, “just please be careful, you know their reputation, for all we know this could be a trap.” I nodded in understanding and went to leave, “just please don’t tell them who I am, I don’t want special treatment,” and closed the door. I took a deep breath. What the hell am I doing? Once outside the door I realized where I was. I hadn’t been to this part of the house since he died. Books, journals, documents strewn everywhere jackets and shirts draped over door handles chairs. I suddenly felt overwhelmed, his scent assaulting my nose, his belongings forcing old memories to the forefront of my mind. I closed my eyes and quickly made my way back to my room. I grabbed a fistful of basic clothes. Jeans, leggings, hair brush, and toiletry items all shoved into my small duffle bag. Once everything was all zipped up, I realized why I wanted to go, why I needed to go. I had to escape this place that I loved so dearly but now only caused me pain.