The Human And The Satan

20.

I never knew what being held feels like. I had never been hugged before. Or maybe when I was a kid, and that was too long for me to remember. So, when Satan hugged me, I had no idea what to do. How to react to his hug. I stood there frozen. The blood from my index finger and thumb was falling down on his expensive mat. But he didn't seem to care.

One of his arms was wrapped around my waist, pushing my face into his chest, while the other one was stroking my hair, trying to calm me down. But my tears froze as well. When he suddenly embraced me, every inch of my body lost control. When Sir Ajax told me that he was one of the most alluring creatures in all the realm, I never knew his touch could mess with every damn emotion of my body.

"Calm down, human. Breathe. Take a deep breath and then release it." He said, rubbing his palm against my back, making my eyes flutter close. His touch was soothing, making me feel good emotions at its extreme peak, as his touch reduced the negative vibes. Maybe one of the perks of being the ruler of hell.

"Are you calm now? The medical staff is here to bandage your cut." He said, not leaving me. His strokes were reduced to small but longer strokes now. His fingers kept massaging my scalp, as if knowing it would calm me down. No matter what he knew and how, his touch, his gentle rubbing of my back helped me to calm down.

"Ye—yeah, I am fine now. Thank you." I said as timidness washed my body, making my skin flush red. Both of us knew how honest I was being now. With absolutely no sarcasm.

Suddenly, the self-destructive thoughts that were conjuring my mind had completely vanished out of my mind. The self-pity I was feeling was nowhere in my mind anymore. I was calmer, feeling the serenity more clearly now. He leaned back a little to look at my face, into my eyes. After gazing at me for almost half a minute and making sure I wasn't lying, he nodded his head and removed his arms from my body, making me feel the weather more intensely now.

No matter how freaking hot hell was, when he retracted his hands, I shivered. I licked my lips, unable to look at him anymore. My skin was burning red. The sudden absence of his warmth made me stand back to where I found myself years ago. His touch was so warm, so endearing to my heart that I was dragged back to the days when I had been loved by my parents. Maybe it was my fallacy that I was loved in my childhood. But little Leah Summers didn't know that.

And I felt like that kid again. Loved. And this thought was really toxic to my mental health. Because no matter how his touch, his embrace made me feel, the truth was everything I felt was what my body wanted me to feel, not what Satan wanted. The reality made my fingers tug on the hem of my dress. But the fabric rubbed against my cut, making me wince for the fourth time since the morning.

"Stop. Stop tugging on your clothes." He rebuked me, and I nodded my head. Damn, I even got blood on my dress. Now, I would have to wash the clothes until the blood leaves this white gown. White freaking gown! Why did I have to cut my finger? Especially when I was wearing white.

"Satan," I said when he started leading me to a completely different corridor, where I don't remember going. He nodded his head, not humming, not speaking anything. But he has been like this since I have arrived in hell. He only spoke when it was extremely important. Maybe all the Gods and Goddess, demons and witches are like that.

"Thank you." I mumbled under my breath and he stopped walking, his fingers curled slightly when I thanked him and his body stiffened. This was the most reaction I have seen coming out of him. But he was more than enough. Because even little is more from some people.

"For what?" He asked me, making it even harder to let him know my gratitude towards what he did for me. Even if my trigger was his words. But his words weren't...... bad. They were harsh but not inappropriate. Especially when we all live in a corrupted world, involved in one or more corruptions.

"For..... consoling me back in the kitchen." For hugging. I wanted to say. But then I chose something different yet similar to speak, and he turned to look at me, raising his eyebrows at me. Lord, I can't deal with his gaze. They are too intense for me.

"You mean you're thankful to me for hugging you?" He asked me, making me choke on my breath. But then I nodded my head. Because he did hug me. And it provided me with a lot more help than I could've imagined.

"Yes."

"I once heard you wanting Basilia to hold you. So when I discussed this with the psychologist learning about human behavior now, he said you feel deprived of love." Because I am. I am very deprived of love.

He said, looking at me in ways that made my knees feel weak. And he was very straight forward with his words. As if he wasn't programmed to feel my or other's emotions. Even when he talked about empathy, he talked very formally.

"You discuss me with a psychologist?" I asked him, astounded.

The fact that he took the pain and effort of talking about my problems with a professional really flattered me. Or maybe that was my love-deprived self. Either way, it made my heart jump. It made me feel emotions I didn't want to feel. One, because I won't be living here for too long. Hopefully. Or two, even if I am stuck here my entire life, he will always be the King. He told me that himself. The line drawn between us may be very thin, but it's strong enough to exist. Forever. I didn't want to feel things that might swallow my very last bit of hope left to live.

Because it's really hard to live when you have nothing to hold onto.

"As long as I don't find a way to send you back to your mortal land, your safety is my responsibility. And the fact that there are no major sins listed in your records yet, I need to make sure you don't suffer because you were stupid one night to chant my spells." Ouch. But fair enough.

"Okay."

"Anymore questions? Or can we just head to the medical unit?" He asked me, and I looked at him with a very familiar embarrassment as I shook my head. Bastard.

"I hope you do know I can still hear your thoughts. And I am not very happy with that you decided to call me inside your mind." He warned me and I smiled impishly at him.

"But punishments are only valid for crimes that are committed, Satan, not for the crimes that are thought." I said smartly and he turned his head slightly, enough to look at me. And it was more than enough to pass chills down my spine.

"Keep thinking like that and you'll find this sooner than you would've expected, human. Do not forget this is not earth. Crimes are nothing but a product of our thoughts. So, there are consequences to everything you think. Remember one thing always, human, earth or hell, what you think is what you are. And I don't just announce punishments for what you commit, but also what you think." He said, and I licked my lips at his words.

"Karma is really frightening," I said with a chuckle and he shook his head.

"No, human. Karma is a promising judge. No matter how many injustices happen to you on earth, karma will always give you what you deserve at the end of the day. So, whatever you have suffered till now and whoever made you suffer, karma is keeping note of it. All." He said, his eyes telling me a story that passed shivered down my spine.

"What if someone commits suicide?" I asked him, and he shook his head.

"If a person commits suicide to trouble the other person, or scare them for a wrong cause, it's a sin. But if a person commits suicicide because he/she was troubled enough, they are given back another life. Because suicide is pre-mature death." He said, and I nodded my head. Oh. Damn. Okay.

"Every time you have thought of death, human. You have chosen to live. And this is penance enough. Especially when you had lost the very last will to live." He said, making me swallow harshly.

"And we are here," he said. And I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips when I saw seven doctors to bandage small cuts on my fingers.

Residence in hell was no less than a movie itself.