The Life of Zara

CHAPTER TWELVE

ZARA

"I'm sorry. I realized I only think of myself. I never thought of how you're forced into this marriage against your will. I never thought whether you have someone you want to marry. What I'm saying is that can we just tolerate each other for a while until we go our separate ways. I promise you I won't stick around fore"

I didn't get to finish. I didn't noticed him move. All I felt is the bone crushing hug. I am beyond shocked. He's holding me tightly as if he's scared I'll run away. I find myself relaxing to his hug. It doesn't feel awkward. It feel warm and like home. I buried my face to his chest inhaling his scent. I feel a little excited. I can get use to this. I almost returned his hug when sense decided to kick in and make her presence known. I'm glad she did. Is he so happy that I said I'm not sticking forever? He really had someone he wanted to marry?

I tried to struggle out of his hug but he held me tighter. His words making me froze.

"I'm sorry fatima"

"I'm really sorry"

Fatima! Dad will use my real name when he's serious or mad at me. It reminded me of him.

That memory made me burst to tears. I try to muffle the sounds.

He dragged his body away from mine and stared at me with a soft look I never thought he is capable of giving. It held tenderness. He is looking at me like I'm the only thing that matter.

"You're crying." He stated the obvious

I don't like how gentle and affectionate he's being with me right now. It's something I lacked and can easily get use to it and then I'll be left vulnerable and broken. Is he scheming something?

"Shhh.. Don't cry baby girl." He dragged me and sat me down on the sofa.

He cupped my face and stared at me.

"I'm sorry wife." He look honest and sincere. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I know saying sorry is not enough.." He scratched his head searching for words. "For now I'll just say I'm sorry."

I stared at him. Who is this Ahmed? He's sorry? Pity! He's pitying me. He was with me last night so he's pitying me.

Fatima

Wife

Baby girl

"Say something Zara. Please say something."

He wants me to say something? I'm not going to be deceived by the devil and be lured into his game. His real self is lurking inside waiting for the right time to charge.

I was tempted to just leave without a word but I could.

"Fatima? Zara? Baby girl? Wife?" I asked him.

"Where is the w***e? The witch or the prostitute?"

"What about making my life a living hell??"

"You are so set on it are you not?"

"Zara.."

"Stop wasting your time." I cut him off. "No matter how much you try you cannot make it worse than it already is. There is nothing you can take away from me. Unless you want my soul."

"Is that what you want Ahmed?" I'm beyond frustrated. "Do you really want my soul?"

I walk pass him and ran to my room closing the door behind me.

I curled my self and cried. Where in the world are you people? Do you feel what I'm feeling? Can you hear me?

I miss you. I cry more as I dragged my dairy from under my pillow. Reading novels about happy family and happy couples isn't going to help my situation right now. It reminds me of how lonely my life is. When I first heard I got a proposal. The hopeful part of me thought my life is going to change for the good. But I'm soo soo wrong.

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Ahmed

How do you spell a demon?

A. H. M. E. D.

That's exactly how.

I'm at the same spot since she ran off to her room. I've messed up pretty bad. Ugly bad. There is nothing pretty here. I'm the devil I didn't realize it. She's never shown such reaction and raw emotions. What was I thinking to hug her like that?when I hugged her. I almost forgot I was here to apologize. I never wanted the moment to end. I felt something right here in my heart.

Baby steps Ahmed.

I don't do baby step. Baby steps will take her forever to heal.

How about baby step plus? I want to reach out for her. To comfort her. To share her burdens with her and chase the demons.

I'm not going to stop until I return the laughter in her life and the life in her eyes.

Until she has more to give than just her soul.

I'm not going to waste time. She needs help. She needs a friend, a companion and a life to look forward to. She needs me.

I'm not going to let you down princess. From now on. I promise you, you have me.

I picked out my phone and dialed Usman. He picked on the second ring.

"Can you cover for me for the rest of the week?"

"Assalamu Alaikum" he replied instead.

"Wow. Your asking me to cover for you? Have you gone paralyzed?"

I laughed despite my mood.

"No. I'm fine. I just need the time." He should realize I don't want to talk about it.

"I'll gladly do it for you."

"Thanks."I hung up.

I'll make sure to use the entire week.