An English Rogue

Goonies never say die.

I had a couple of hours between training and heading to Nox. So I headed home to shower and change. Tonight was not a True Moon event night, in between events we were open to humans and any paying customer, but I still liked to be there to keep an eye on things.

As I got home I thought about what I should say to Anna. I wasn’t the best at expressing myself, I always seem to get it wrong no matter how hard I tried, I was always slightly off kilter. But Anna wasn’t just anyone, she was closer to being my sister than just a friend, and I owed her more than I’d be giving her.

The smell of dinner hit me as I got in. Goddess Anna was a good cook! Even Tala was salivating in the back of my mind. I went to my bathroom and washed my hands and face before grabbing the bottle of wine I’d picked up on the way home and heading down the narrow stairs to the large family kitchen. I stoped in the doorway and watched the scene unfold before me wanting to take in ever minute of it all. Mia was talking about something funny one of her college friends had done, I hadn’t heard of them but Anna seemed familiar with everyone involved. Jody and Jack were chatting to each other quietly giggling like conspirators, their dark brown curled almost meeting in the middle. Oliver was happily singing and chatting to little Juno.

It felt like I was watching another world and it felt like my vision darkened as I stood out on the narrow hall between the floors. I felt like a thief in the night spying on their hidden lives. None of it belonging to me at all. They didn’t need me here. Maybe I should leave and slink back into the night.

“Yay! Mummies home!” Came the most precious sound, shattering my dark vision and bringing me back to life in one swoop. I could breath again, and I sucked in air hungrily as I walked into the kitchen and gave Oliver a kiss on the head.

“Hi everyone, I’m sorry I’m late” I told them nervously, “Id love the hear about your day, I want to hear everything you’ve been up too” I said smiling at the family and trying to catch Anna’s eye. I helped myself to some food, and side salad and sat at the table. I let the conversation flow around me, but this time instead of feeling like an outsider I felt engulfed and strengthened by their love.

After we’d eaten we agreed to watch a film together.

“Please…Anything but Minions” Mia whispered under her breath! And I chuckled. We’d watched that film on repeat for weeks.

“Can we watch Minions!?!?” Called Oliver almost immediately in an excited voice. “I yuv Minions!”

“Errrgh seriously anything but Minions!” Groaned Mia and Jody giggled looking up at her hero.

“Hmm, well, how about we watch something new?” Anna suggested. “How about we try and find a film with something for everyone? Maybe tonight it’ll be the adults choice?” She suggested, and I knew her well enough to know exactly which film we were going to watch!

“That’s a good idea, put your hand up if you like pirates?” I suggested and both Jack and Oliver put their hands up. “Put your hand up if you like adventures” and the boys shot their hands up again, Oliver glancing at Jack to see what he did. “Put your hand up if you like disobeying adult rules” I said smiling at Mia just to get an eye roll in reply. “Okey okey, so Anna am I right in thinking I know what tonight’s film is?”

“It’s The Goonies” Anna announced. “Honestly you’ll all love it!” She promised.

We settled down on our large corner sofa and Mia and Jody took refuge on the one next to us. The film was a big hit! Of course it’s a classic. Although me and Anna did catch eyes at one point as I wondered if it was a tad grown up for the little ones. I noticed Mia using her phone to identify a few of the old hit songs as we watched. Not that she would admit it.

Once the film was finished we ushered the three to the bathrooms to get ready for bed.

“Why did Willy only have one eye” Jack asked curiously.

“I think maybe he was only born with one eye” Anna suggested. “We are all different aren’t we, and the world would be very boring if we were all the same.” She smiled at the children as they brushed their teeth. “Sometimes, like in the Goonies we think it’s scary when someone’s different but the truth is, it’s those things that make them special, and Moon Goddess blesses us all.”

We settled everyone down and I headed to the kitchen to open the wine.

“You’re late for work you know” Anna said in a brittle tone from behind me as she entered the kitchen.

“Yeh, I messaged Suzy the bar manager, she’s happy to take charge tonight, I figured I had more important things to do.” I said busying myself with the bottle opener.

I poured two large glasses and offered one to Anna, I was relieved when she accepted it happily. And we sat down together slightly awkwardly at the breakfast bar.

“I’m sorry about earlier” I should have spoken to you about Oliver. I know the children are your domain and I know how much you love them all…

“But that’s just it Lena! That’s the bit that bugs me!” She said exploding with emotion and frustration and not letting me finish. “You seem to think that ‘this’” she said signalling with her arms to the room around her, “this is me! This is all I get! This is my life! This is it day in day out! I love the children I honestly do, and if ten more turned up at the door I wouldn’t turn them away for love nor money! But at the same time I need more!! I want more!! I know you’re busy at the club and I know you work hard, but sometimes I see you swam out of the door in your nice clothes and I’M STILL HERE with pup sick on my shoulder and a mound of washing up. I don’t have anything to look forward to. You have the club and the training session. Kerri’s life is so full of adventure she can’t even pick up a phone and all I get is ‘the pups are my domain’” she said in a voice. “I’m just so frustrated!” She sighed running out of steam tears running down her face in frustration as much as anything and I passed her a tissue.

“I’m sorry Anna, I’m so sorry! I haven’t been treating you fairly, I shouldn’t expect you to be Cinderella, slaving away for the family, while I swan off. What can we do to change the balance in our family? I need you to have time to yourself, and you need to feel like this isn’t all on you. I know you love the children but I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel this way.” I held her hand across the bar. She was my best friend, my sister and there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to sort this problem between us. “Have you thought about what you’d like to do?” I asked topping up our wine glasses.

“Well no I haven’t, I don’t even know, I just want there to be an option of something else!” She said sighing.

“How do you feel about us making a schedule? I know it might seem a bit ridged but this way I can organise staff to cover my shifts and we can take it in turns to do school drop off and in the evenings you can have some proper time of. Maybe Mia could babysit and we could both go to the next True Moon event together” I suggested. “It would be amazing for us to let our hair down together” I chuckled reaching over the bar and ruffling her pixie cut with my fingers. “I was also thinking maybe we should have a room mix-up. I have the spare room on my floor, what do you think about moving Oliver upstairs with me and maybe moving Juno into Oliver’s old room. What do you think?”

“Hmm I might give that some thought” she said smiling. “I think Oliver would love to have a room next to yours, but I’m not sure it would make it much easier to move Junk out yet, maybe when she’s a bit older. But I love the idea of having some chilled mornings without the school run even if that does mean you driving my car!” She said looking at me with mock horror. Anna didn’t trust me after an incident with a bollard a few years ago.

“I’m so glad we could sort this out Anna, Kerri would be proud of us!” I laughed as we clinked out glasses together.

“The question is… what colour will Oliver want his room painted…?” I asked

“LELLOW!” We said together and burst out laughing. That little Minion fan will definitely choose yellow, we agreed chuckling.