Life is full of rejection

"Krisha please, don't do this" The man said He knelt in front of me while holding my hand and he give to me the ring that symbolize his love for me. I remember how we starts, when i am in 5th grade he is a transferee students and we became friends. He always tease me and made me distract when we don't have a teacher and that's how i fall inlove with him. He was my first love. My love of my life. After a year we became a lovers we always giving a letters because that time there is no cellphone nor internet. "stop! i don't love you anymore! so please, leave me alone!" I shouted him. yeah, i shouted him in front of my classmates. I feel so bad to him, i'm really sorry my love that i need to be selfish this time. I see his eyes tearing because of what i've said. This is our 1st week in class and we make scene here. I start walking outside to stop this scene, but i still feel people staring and glaring at me. well go on, judge me all you want but i am the one who knows what i feel about him. I am the one who knows the reason why i do that. "Krisha" Anne called my name while running to me. "Are you alright?, what happened" she said, i see on her face how she was worried about me. I just realize now that i am crying because of what i dreamed. I still reminisce what happened 2 years ago, how my first love was gone just because i am scared that people may judge me. They judge me that i am so dumb and leon is very smart. yeah, its very shallow reason but i'm just scared that i might be judge by people. I remember the day after we break up he left and go to their province because his uncle was died. I didn't see him even his shadow, i don't feel his presence and it starts making me miss him. I really miss him so much but after a month he back to school he looks like a new leon. He doesn't talk too much unlike before, he also not give me even a little bit stare and it starts to feel me regret. I am really dumb to breaking up with him just because he was too smart unlike me. It was a years ago but i still feel my love for him, when i am listening in music or radio about love he is the one i remember. I always regret every single day of my life, but it was all my fault so all i do is to regret everything. He also have a new girlfriend now, i see them in school look so happy. When i see him happy well its okay to me now, atleast he was back to normal. A happy and jolly leon i met before even he does not talk to me until now. "Don't worry i'm fine, i just remembered him" i said and smile. Anne was my bestfriend since elementary and she knows what happened between me and leon before because she also our classmate that time. "Hey, don't think too much about him. See? thinking him too much even in your dreams he still there and girl, he was happy and contented with his girl now" Anne said "Yeah you're right. You know what? i think i need to focus on my own lovelife from now on to atleast it less me thinking about him." is this thing is right? i don't know but i really need to do this to ease the regretion i feel. He was happy now, i hope i also find my peace to be happy. I am walking now to go home i also feel too tired because of what happened earlier. Its friday and we have been run in 60meters because we have a Physical education subject today. "Hi krisha" the boy in front of me said i raised my one eyebrow because i don't know who he is. He looks like a basketball player but i don't care, he looks like a playboy for real. He have a thick eyebrows a round eye, his skin color is also light and he looks so handsome that's why. "Hey don't be so rude to me, its me jomary, remember? karl, kashmir, and leon's friend?" he said. All right i remember him now. he is a dancer and my friend Anne have a crush on him before. "Oh yeah it's you, sorry i didn't recognize you. You looks very handsome now huh" i said while laughing. "Are you going home now?" he asked "Ahmm.. yeah" i said "Then i should be with you so you wouldn't be alone, you know as a girl you need to be more careful especially in late night" he said he said what? he should be me? so he will court me to my home? No way. i don't want my friend be hurt and mad at me. I didn't say that he will be with me because he has a feelings for me but girl, i just want to be careful. "Thankyou jomary but i don't think you need to do that, i'll go now" i said and walk again I'm walking now and stop in department store to buy something but i noticed that jomary still following me. oh gosh! why he still following me? he looks like a secret admirer of mine my goodness! after i buy i used to go to the back door so that he could no longer follow me. Oh a fresh air, i put up my arm to feel more the air and it feels so relaxing! "Krish--* "oh s**t!" i jumped in shock. for real? jomary still following me? oh god let me go home alone! "What?! you suprised me, why you still following me? you are so annoying" i said he really annoys me, i just want to go home alone. just me. my self. but what the heck is he doing? he's action look so suspicious. "Sorry, i just want to be sure that you go home safely" he said want me to go home safely? why theheck he cares huh? okay. i must grant what he want to stop this crazy man. "Okay but don't try to be soooo near at me huh! i don't want Anne to be jealous and make this an issue. understand?" I said while pointing my finger at him and he nod. Atleast he understand what i said, i don't want this to be an issue. we are walking now and all you can hear is silence. He is walking behind my back just to be sure that no one will do anything at me. Maybe he's right i need to be more careful, instead of thanking him, I was being rude at him. I am in front of our house now and its time to thank him. "Sorry for being rude at you earlier, i just don't want man caring me because i can handle my self but thanks anyway" i said and smile "This is our house you can go now" i said "No worries i just want you to be safe and i understand because you're just tired in school, i'll go now. bye!" he said while smiling and start walking away from me He's not that bad actually he's gentleman. Maybe i was judge him because he is lazy at school and all he do is to giving our teachers an headache. I'm in my bed now playing a song while my eyes is close. I feel sleepy now, i need to take rest too. *** "Krisha wake up!" mom said the heck! why all people always wake me up?! I got up from the bed frowning. "What?!" i said with a loud tone of voice "There's a man downstairs, he said he is jomary" mom said. "What?! why?!" what now again? he's really annoys me. he destroy my night yesterday and now my sleep? this boy is really makes me crazy!! i went on him and i caught him talking to my older brother and guess what? they are laughing. Maybe my brother said something nonsense I did that's why they laughed. Argghhh!! i can't take this anymore! "JOMARY!!!" i said loudly with a anger tone of voice they both stop laughing now and looking at each other and after that they start laughing again what the?! do i look like a joke? am i a joke to them? they really gives me a high temper! "Oh hi my little sister" my brother said and gives me a hug What? he gives me a hug? are he sick? he doesn't do this actually he always makes me annoys too like what jomary makes me feel. "Yuck! can you stop?" i said to my brother and i cut him off to get closer to jomary "You jerk!" i said while pointing to jomary and he shocked of what i've called him "What are you doing here huh?!" i said "Hey krisha its not in your business, he's not also here for you. He's here because we talked about something important" my brother said Oh god! maybe i am the one who crazy here what i did is really embarassing, i also called him a jerk! oh my god!! "Oh sorry krisha i thought jomary is your visitor because i knew that you are the same age and schoolmates" mom said I just walk out and go back to my room gosh! i need to get out of here now! i went to my closet and find a dress, i will go to the park so they don't remember what I did. Oh come on krish, why is he coming here for you? but how did my brother and jomary meet? gosh nevermind i need to get out of here now. *** "Krish" Anne said while waving her hands at me she is walking now to me, we are here in the park now. i called her because she also need to be relaxed because she really be exhausted in their house. Anne is very smart girl, she also good at singing. not only singing is her talent, she also know how to make a poets, drawing and more. she's really a talented person and friendly too. "I thought you weren't come because you are very busy person" i said and hugged her its saturday now we don't have a class today but she have a part time that's why i thought she wouldn't be here. "When its you well i always have a time" she said. "By the way, i heared from someone yesterday that jomary is the new member of the band that your older brother's handling, is he at your house now? huh?" oh why is she talking about jomary now? i go to this place now to get out of my mind what i did earlier but how i will forget that if she's here just to ask me that? she really like jomary geez. "Yeah girl he's on our house that's why i also went here because he is like my brother. so annoying" i said and laugh "Hey don't say that to my love! he's my husband, my honey" Anne said while look like dreaming and got a high price of diamond hahaha she's really cute though. After we chitchat we go to our favorite restaurant since we are elementary, this is the place where we always go when we always met. We don't use more time too because her dad calls him because he needs the help of anne for the drawing contest of Dianne which is Anne's little sister because anne is the one who teach to her sister how to draw, the competition is also near that why they also need more practice.