On the Run

As I sit at a cluttered kitchen table with my three-year-old daughter in my lap, the words to explain how everything went wrong escapes me. My beautiful little girl’s still messy from sleep curls tickled my cheek and she wriggled around like a little worm. My mind was racing over my never-ending list of chores to do but my thoughts kept coming back to What are we going to do? My husband has been labelled a traitor. The leader could have us killed too, if he wanted. In that moment, I came to the realization, we had to run, get away as soon as possible. “Come on Amelia, help Mommy pack,” I tried to say as calmly as possible. “We’re going to go on a trip.” “A trip?” she inquired, tilting her head to the side. “Yes, we’re going home,” I explained as I lead her to the bedroom I had shared with her father for the past seven years. “We is home,” Amelia said gesturing around her. Is it really though? I couldn’t help to think. My husband was a good man, but he was a drunk. Sometimes he would be all giggly and loving, but end up so drunk he would pass out and piss himself. Just that in itself made me want to leave, but divorce has been forbidden in our territory. Then, there was the darker side that would emerge from time to time. Everything would be different his eyes, which were usually a pale green, would be black the moment he stepped through the door. The anger would be radiating from him. Little Amelia would go running to him so happy to see him finally home for the day and he would walk right past her without even acknowledging her. It made my heart ache for her. I always wished I had fought harder to stay in my home territory, my family would have protected us. “We’re going to the place Mommy’s from,” I informed Amelia. There wouldn’t be a lot of time for us to be able to escape. Security details patrolled around the clock in every village in the Marshes Territory. It’s a difficult enough feat to get out alone, with a young child it would be much exponentially harder. They would surely kill me if I was caught but I’d rather us both die than be subjected to a life of imprisonment, should The Leader decide we are guilty by association. If Colby could have just stayed sober for once, he wouldn’t have shot his mouth off at the wrong time. Impulsiveness seemed to be a common theme among the people here. If he had just cared about his family enough to think before he acted, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Now I’m going to be a single mom on the run with a toddler. I must get us to safety. After I got most things we would need packed I had to search for the baby pack. It was going to be a long journey and I knew her little legs would get tired and need to rest frequently. When she needed to rest I could carry her. The extra weight would be difficult but there was no way I could leave without my daughter. A small tug on my shirt pulled me from my thoughts. “Mommy, I hungry,” Amelia said. Kneeling down to her level I asked, “Would you like for Mommy to make you some cheesy eggs and sausage?” She jumped up and down while clapping and squealing with delight. It was her absolute favorite, Amelia had always been a fairly easy child to please. Her little hand raised into the air and her voice called out to me, “Hold my hand please.” A smile spread across my face then took her hand in mine. She began to skip on our short walk to the kitchen, so I imitated her actions and skipped with her. This brought even more joy to her, she began to laugh and squeal in delight. “Mommy so silly,” Amelia said putting one hand over her stomach as it heaved in and out from her laughter and the other over her mouth as if she was trying to contain it. Even if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to save my daughter from a life of misery here. After what my husband did we will either be killed or live a life of imprisonment. His trial will take place tomorrow. If we can get out tonight, I could call my parents once we get into the Cascades Territory. Being careful was necessary, I they know I have contact with anyone outside the Marshes Territory I could be labelled as a traitor as well. If that happened, Amelia would be all alone, in this godforsaken place. Then who knows what kind of life she would have here. Amelia’s short little legs moved quickly with excitement and she ran over a kitchen chair and slowly dragged it over to the stove where I was preparing to the ingredients for our meal. “Mommy, I help! I help!” Amelia yelled, pleading with me to play my sous chef. “I know you’re excited honey, but we need to practice being very, very quiet,” I gently reminded her. “Now, get up there so you can help Mommy.” Amelia crossed her arms pouting but agreed. “Okay,” she said dejectedly. Hearing my daughter sound so sad made my heart feel like it was being squeezed. Doing anything that hurt her feelings always made me feel like a monster. How could anyone look at her sweet, cherubic face and not feel guilty? This journey was going to be difficult for us both physically, but mentally as well. Would we be able to make it back to my home territory or would we be caught before we even made it out of the Marshes?