Master Gallagher

Called William out

As soon as their carriage went off. I was quick to run to the basement and locked the door behind me. I shrugged down, pulling my knees together, I could finally cry in peace.

"Panashe, open the door!" William demanded.

I kept silently cried hoping he would go away. I had been so happy and excited that this weekend would be hours, we would be left alone but now I wasn't. Not after that particular visit. It felt as if someone would be lurking around waiting for William to make that mistake. He had already made that mistake..

"Don't worry love, Milton makes empty threats all the time."

Now I couldn't help but think about how much, I love that petname. He called Lady Tracy, Tracy and I was love... for a lot of reasons that calmed me and made me feel a lot better about everything.

"I'm going to make you some tea for the baby, rooibos?"

Groggily feeling the need to reply. "...I hate rooibos..."

"Then open the door and tell me what you want..."

I stood up and dusted my dress. Opening the door... he was standing there looking at me. He asked once more... "What do you want love?"

"...a hug.." I told him.

"Come here, we will cuddle all night; how about that?" He stepped forward and gently made me lay my head on his chest. His heart was steadily beating and when he spoke, I could make out vibrations of his base from his chest. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Anything else?" He whispered laying a chaste kiss on my temple.

"I don't feel like having sex... I know since we're alone maybe you're expecting it and this is our last weekend together but I don't want to."

"I would never force you to have s*x when you're feeling sad or down."

You have in the past. I said to myself passively. Now I started realizing that during the first days William acted like his father and brothers... utterly despicable but somewhat changed over the course of five months.

"I'm so sorry they made you cry and even I used to make you cry..."

"I'm scared." I whispered.

"Don't be, I'm here."

"You won't always be..."

"Austin will be here... I told him to check up on you as much as he can and he will be giving Stevens some time off to be with you so that less questions will be raised. I will leave money in my office, in the third cabinet to the left. It's locked but I will give you the key. Take as much as you need whenever needed. My mother will be here, she will visit often... to put Tracy in her place. Tracy gets jittery around my mother."

"I do too."

William chuckled. "Why, my mother is the sweetest person there is?"

"I just get intimidated by her whole aura."

"If it makes you feel any better, my mother could not keep it to herself... she told Kathleen and Cynthia. They immediately wrote to me with their concerns and so on. I was so mad at mother because If her letters went in the wrong hands... I'd be damned."

Maybe Hector thoroughly read.

I pulled back from William, astounded that it was as if everyone knew and I did not like it. "Maybe we shouldn't have told your mother..."

"No, it's fine. Cynthia also told me a secret..." he paused. "I suppose we're too open with each other."

He waited until we had made our way to the guest room before he could tell me anything. He opened the sheets for me and gave me his shirt to wear during the night. He made sure, I was comfortable and asked me if he should run me a bath. I said no, feeling awkward. I always ran people baths... no one had ever ran a bath for me. Overall, I did not feel comfortable being purely naked around William. During sex... I'd like to think we were both invested in just being together that no one focused on the flaws our body's had. I don't think William's body had a flaw... and he knew it. He was always so confident. If anything I'd say the Gallagher men always boosted about their size, that surely William had solemnly inherited without a doubt. Whenever I ran Lady Tracy a bath... I often looked at her. I know I'm a creep but maybe I was curious. Before I started sleeping with her husband, I never used to but I suppose now I needed a comparison. She was very lean and tall. Her back side was as flat as her chest. She tried really hard to make her waist thin with all the corsets, tightening them till she could not breath. It was weird. Her breasts were the size of peaches. I did not mean to look but... she often asked me if she was attractive. I'd always tell her yes, I suppose she was. She had a pretty face. Her body resembled a ruler in many ways but I never told her that.

Once we were laying comfortably in bed, with his arms wrapped around me..

"Well will you let me in on the secret since your sister now knows ours..."

"You cannot tell anyone!"

"William?! It's not as if anyone listens to anything I have to say anyways..."

"You know Navarro?"

I nodded. Ofcourse that was Lady Cynthia's Spaniard husband.

"He passes as white but he is actually mixed and took advantage of the fact that he took more of the white side than the black side well not really black side but his mother is Afro-Caribbean. Cynthia said his mother taught him to when he was really young. She would straighten his hair every single day because it was too curly and remind him constantly that he is white and is to act that way. I suppose because he is a Spaniard, he got a pass for the tan skin. His mother remained a maid for years there but she was infact acting as a mother and wife to Navarro senior. They made up some mediocre lie, that Ernesto's mother died while giving birth and she was supposedly white."

I was out of words.

"Cynthia met his mother before the wedding and that's when he reviewed this to her."

"That's a huge burden to live with... for the rest of your life." I replied.

"I know but if our child happens to favor my genes more... I will not hesitate doing it. For his sake..."

"No, William they're just child and that would be too much."

"Would you rather have them being treated differently then by Milton and Gerald's kids? Kids can be cruel, Panashe although I'm not worried about Liam."

"You know the feeling of hiding is not nice. For me to subject my child to hiding for the rest of their life is not something, I am keen on doing. I already hate this hiding." I told him. "Mainly because our child will never be happy, they will constantly feel out of place."

"I know but—"

"No, William you constantly make driven decisions... this will not be it. My child will be themselves from the minute they're born. Whether they get my so called nappy hair and your eyes or my eyes and your hair well whatever, they're not going to pass as white. Mary is doing just fine being herself."

"Well that's because Mary has a heart of stone and seems not to be bothered by the way they treat her."

"But Mary has a good father and it seems that's all she ever needed. You're a good father William."

Will, blushed. He tried to hide it but he couldn't. It was just so upfront and I thought it was cute.

"But your father isn't..." The atmosphere immediately changed. "William, I don't like the way you plainly disrespect your brothers and side with your father on all the horrible things. What he did was wrong and you know you're the only person who can call him out but no. You remained in your good grace saying 'I'm fine father' You're fine? You could see that your brother was bleeding why did you not tell your father he was wrong. I suppose you're really used to getting away with a lot of things.." I huffed.

"Is that why you were crying?"

I immediately clicked my tongue at him. I was so annoyed. "I cried because I know what your father is capable of and it was just too much of a thought for me."

"I'm sorry."

"William, you need to create a friendship with your half brothers. They will help you one day but now that you're always fighting. They're waiting for your failure."

"I can't.."

"You can't or you won't?"

"You don't know how it feels to be me!" William lashed out.

"Oh I know exactly how it feels to be you. You get away with every single thing. You have never heard of discipline. You feel as if everyone owes you something. I don't blame you, your father clearly broke you."

"Good night." William said abruptly turning to his side.

"I will not beg you William. Go on with your tantrums. Your father is the only person who says 'Willy are you alright?'" I immediately found myself laughing at this. That had to be the most pathetic scene, I had ever seen.

Surprisingly, I heard William chuckle.

"I hate that nickname."

"Are you alright Willy, my boy?" I mimicked teasing him. He smiled, I loved that smile. He pulled me in his arms again, it seemed his anger had dissolved. We sat in silence... until he said.

"I know, I'm just as bad as they are but for your sake and our child... I will try to be better. You're right, I'm the only person who can call out father for the things he does and I will."

"When you do... you will have Gerald and Milton behind you. They will support you if you need it."

"Absolutely, this is why I love you."

I suddenly felt shy.

"I will wait for the day you finally say it even if it's not today." He laid a chaste kiss on my temple. I knew I loved him but I would not say it. He already had everything and somehow me not telling him how I feel felt as if that was the only thing he did not have...

it kept him grounded.

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