Remark

Started From the Bottom

“How can they give us assignments for first day? HOW?”

I cursed burying my face over my palms in frustration. First day of school is not always great. The thought that I’m another step closer to finally graduate and get my own job and everything is life changing but challenging in a way that makes me want to give up and forget about what I just said about life. It’s nowhere different from my senior year but it’s the real deal this time. I’m about to make my dreams come true after years of suffering and going through the final wave in school.

“You know you took one of the hardest courses in the universe, right? It’s even labelled as the hardest course if I’m not mistaken.” Hikaru said, and I looked at him in horror. Did I really take up one of the hardest courses?

I messed my hair and exclaimed unnecessary words. “They’re torturing us in first day, how much more if we continue the days?” I frantically added, turning my head over Hikaru who was apparently enjoying how messed up I am right now. “I can’t do this anymore. Should I just transfer to Fine Arts now before it’s too late?”

“Nami-chan,” He snapped. “You can’t give up. You’ve been wanting this since we were kids and I remember you drawing house sketches for me. You were born to do this so stop doubting yourself because you know yourself, you can do it.”

I sighed and looked down. “I guess you’re right.” I can’t believe I looked down on myself after confidently telling everyone that I’d become a successful architect someday. I just don’t know what I want right now. I want to go back to dancing so bad that it pisses me off to see someone else leading my team.

“I have to go. I have a class in ten minutes. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah, no. I’m good.” I forced a smile on my face and see him stand up. Hikaru and I had similar vacants today except that I have two consecutive vacant periods which means I’ll be alone for the next hour again after Hikaru leaves me here any minute now.

“I’ll send you a message after my classes. I’ll meet you later, Nami-chan.”

I nodded, watching him run away from where he left me. Why are people running away from me recently? I sighed leaning my back against the bench. I felt so tired when it’s only my first day. I can’t believe I’m stressed already when there’s more to come my way.

“Why’s my princess looking dull and dead? Am I marrying a corpse bride in the future?”

I looked up when I heard that familiar pet name I learned to love; that familiar voice – that familiar voice that gives me shiver down my spine; the familiar annoying remarks he makes every single time we see each other.

“I’m not sure I’m quite ready to see you looking uglier than now.” And his familiar annoying self apparently. Either way, my heart raced at the sight of the man who stole my heart.

“Annoying player,”

“Hey princess,” He walked closer to me. It’s the first time I’m seeing him today and I’m glad he made up his mind to come see me because I needed him. His black statement tee made him look so fair, almost like a vampire. His brown hair got lighter and they were just falling down his forehead naturally – like a freaking model for a clothing warehouse. “Here,” He handed me a can of latte, and it was still warm. “What’s the problem? Are you having any trouble with your classes? Are you finally failing?”

I frowned at him. “You really know how to make things better, don’t you?”

He chuckled, bobbing his head lightly. “What happened really?”

“Requirement on our first day.”

“We’ve been writing since first period. I don’t see any reason for you to nag about that, princess.” He tilted his head to look at my face. “Besides, you should have expected these to happen since your course is very deadly.”

“Writing things down is a piece of cake for you Mark. Making design objectives and concepts for first day isn’t normal.”

He shrugged. “Journalism is great, and I’m happy with what I took. You chose Architecture. It’s not the easiest course in the world and everyone knows that. I assume you do know as well before signing up the application.”

“Why do you all keep telling me that? It’s making me much more upset.” I crossed my arms and looked away from his eyes. His eyes that weren’t romantic right now – they were very teasing in a very annoying way.

I was surprised when I felt him around my body. When I turned back to see him, he was already hugging me from the side. He was leaning his face over my right shoulder and his eyes were closed. He looked like a baby almost and I wanted to snuggle with him if I wasn’t so frustrated with my classes today. “If I could take all that negativity away from you, I would. I hate seeing you like this.”

Still the sweetest.

“You turn very ugly. People will think low of me for not having the standards they think I have.”

Not really. I frowned and jerked his head away from me.

“No but really. If I can somehow just take your stress away, everything would be fine.”

I was lost. I never knew staring at someone’s face like this could make you feel out of words and just light headed – like I was hovering in a cloud. His cheeks were pinkish probably because of the cold weather today and his lips were annoyingly glossier than mine – pinker than mine. How did a man like him ended up in my shoulders? Everything still felt surreal between the two of us.

His eyes slowly opened and they searched for my eyes. He flashes me a thin smile and my heart instantly skips a beat. “You do know I’d catch bullets for you right?”

I arched a brow. “Can’t you be more creative than that, player? I’ve heard those lines many times before from every single romance movie there is and they’re not as sweet as they are now that you’re the one who’s saying it.”

He lifts his head back up with a chuckle and the weight from my shoulder vanishes. “Why are you still calling me player though?”

“And why are you still calling me princess?”

“Because you’re my princess.”

I creased my brows. “And you’re my player.”

He grins and tickles me by the stomach which I took in by surprise. “And you tell me how cringey I get when I say romantic things.” He said, laughing out loud. “Where did you learn that, princess? Did you learn from me?”

I slapped his hands away from my sensitive area and shook my head. “I learned it the hard way.”

“Are you okay now?” he asked turning to me, now more serious than a while ago.

I nodded at him and smiled lightly. “A little, maybe.”

“Your Shrek face’s showing up again if you keep the frown.”

I glared at him when he stood up and ran away from me. “SHREK FACE?” I stood from my seat and faced his direction. “That’s even worse than ugly! You’re not getting away with that!” He sticks his tongue out at me and runs further away. It was like dejavu when he said that. It was the exact same phrase he told me before when we’re both still trying to hide our feelings. I guess some things never changed for the two of us.

It was the end of my schedule and God knows how relived I am right now that third day is finally ending. I never hate first weeks but if they make us do things for the entire week, that’s not okay. I stood from my chair stretching the heck out of my joints. I’ve been sitting the whole afternoon and it felt so relaxing to have this moment.

I looked around me and my classmates were smiling and laughing together as they head out of the room. Why are they happy when we literally received a dreadful task to do? I thought I was normal but now I’m having second thoughts. Am I the only person who’s really miserable today? I mean starting my first day without Sophee is horrible enough.

I start making my way out of the room. The thing I loved most about our department is that right when you leave the room, it’s a hall of lockers lined up over the wall. I can leave everything in my locker and get back on it when I go home. Unlike during senior year, I had to walk to another building to reach my locker which never made sense to me.

I just reached my locker to get my things back to my bag when someone suddenly taps my shoulder and stops me from unlocking the pad lock. I turned around and saw an unfamiliar guy standing in front of me. I admit. I was kind of assuming that it was Mark so I was disappointed when I saw a different man. “Yes?”

“I believe this is yours,”

I looked at his hand and saw a similar anklet I’ve been wearing since I started dating Mark officially – by that I mean, ever since June. I frowned and recalled what he just said. I believe this is yours. I lifted my right foot up a little to see my anklet and my eyes widened when it wasn’t there. I looked back at his hand and grabbed the anklet from him. “Thank you,”

“I saw it fall down when you stepped out of your room.”

I nodded and held the cold anklet over my warm palms. “I would have lost my mind if I lost it. Thank you so much. I owe you big time.”

He chuckled. “No worries.” His voice was a very interesting mix of deep and high pitch compared to guys I’ve talked to before and now that I’m taking a closer and look at his face, I realized how foreign he looks. His strong jawline, his short gelled up black hair with a hint of blonde highlights scattered everywhere, his bright and light brown eyes. He looked out of this world, if that makes sense. “Jonah,” There. He was foreign. “Jonah Fedler.”

“Nami,” Since he brought his hand up to shake, I figured it would be rude to not greet him nicely the way he just did and I’m not taking this is a flirty greeting. We both are just friendly human beings. I smiled back at him awkwardly and took my hand back fast.

“Freshman?” he asked and I nodded. “Architecture?” I bobbed my head again. “Oh, cool. I’m a second year from the department.”

I blinked and immediately bowed my head. “I am so sorry. I didn’t know you were a senior. I’m very very sorry.” We’ve been practiced to respect those who are higher than us so this is really bad that I’m not respecting him – greeting him even – when he’s a senior of my department.

He laughed. “No, it’s okay. No one really cares about superiority recently so it’s totally cool.”

Should I be relieved?

“See you around, Nami.” He left with a smile, and I was left with a horrified expression. I can’t believe I was almost disrespecting a senior from my own department. How embarrassing. I kept my head low as I turn back to my locker.

As soon as I opened it, a folded white paper welcomed me. I stared at it and tried to remember if I had left a paper like this in here this morning but I was sure that I haven’t so someone must have slipped this thing right inside. Then I remembered getting the same one like this during first day, last Monday. I wonder if it’s the same person. I reached out for it, creasing my brows in anticipation and opened the note.

Showing a smile doesn’t mean you’re happy. Your eyes tell a different story.

-CM