Remark

When Everything Falls Down

“I’m going out with the guys tomorrow afternoon.”

I looked at Mark. “Where to? Tyler said you rarely go out with them already”

“That’s why we’re going out.” He playfully replies and leans his head closer to mine, just staring at my face who didn’t look like it would be worth staring. Not that I’m saying I’m ugly like what he usually tells me but not worthy is less self-savage. “When all this school festival ends, I’m going to take you to a proper date and I’m swearing my life this time.”

I couldn’t stop staring Mark. I missed looking into his deep brown eyes and how they dilate when I look at them. I miss him as much as he said he missed me or maybe I missed him more than him. I nod at his proposal and hope for the best.

“You look beautiful today with your hair up. Don’t do that too often.”

I frowned at him and wondered why he told me I looked beautiful in it and order me not to do it. “If it looks good on me, why shouldn’t I be doing it more often? Unless you want me to look like an old lady all the time?”

He laughs. “Because if you wear that to school and every guy sees it, I wouldn’t wonder why people will start talking about you being the most beautiful girl in the campus and I don’t want you to think and wonder why you’re with a guy who can’t even meet you at a given time because that would only make you break up with me and date another guy and I wouldn’t be able to handle that.”

“That’s a lot to take in,” I looked away and see him let out a snort. “Why would I ask myself that when I’ve been through that last year when you got me wondering why I was suddenly so worried about a player who only approached me for the sake of being with my best friend?”

He chuckled at that and I watch him. He looks the best when he laughs. I feel like he looks the greatest when he laughs. “You keep reminding me of my ugly plans before which worked, might I add. You even fell for me when I just wanted closure.”

Ditto.

“You’re the only princess I call.” I feel his cold fingers ran through my face before tucking my hair at the back of my ear. He stares at me and tilts his head a little. A smile grows out from his face so plain a while ago to a sweet, charming smile.

“And everyone else is babe or baby?” I asked jokingly which he laughs at, as he rests his hands over my shoulder.

“And the rest is babe or baby.”

I playfully punched him with a scowl on my face. “How dare you.”

“And the rest is babe or baby before.”

The next day, the booth was much busier than yesterday. Partly because we were selling more tickets than of we did. We thought selling more was a good idea but selling more tickets wasn’t that good of an idea. We were pack full and the line just gets longer outside the booth. People were actually lining up for our booth and to other departments, we may look very intimidating and threatening to them because we’re literally killing this school festival.

Afternoon passes by in a speed of light and before I know it, I was walking around the campus judging every booth I pass by when we decided to cut off the line and continue the next batch tomorrow. We fixed everything up for tomorrow so we were free to go around and make fun of other departments’ booths. That’s just me though. Jonah never ordered us to do such thing.

The things you think you know are the things that aren’t true. Don’t be too blinded by what you see. -CM

While walking around, passing by different types of booths, I was caught off guard when I was about to cross my path with a person I wasn’t expecting to see. I check my time making sure I wasn’t over reacting and it clearly reads 4:36 pm. It is the afternoon. “Tyler?” I called and he quickly responds by turning his head around to see me.

He walks to my direction and tells me a casual Hey. “And I’m not agreeing to be your friend today in case you suddenly ask.” I let out a small laugh. “I don’t want to keep piling up lies in front of Mark’s face.”

“No, I just,” I furrowed my brows. “Why are you here?” I asked and finally blurt out my question. I am so confused. “How are you here? I thought you—”

“What do you mean why am I here? I do things for the booth like everyone else is doing right now.” He answered without any hesitation then lets out a pathetic wheeze. “Is your booth closed now? I was wondering if I could just get some free passes from you as co captains.”

I don’t answer him and my mind was still spinning. I was convincing myself that their hang out was already done earlier at noon but Tyler answers as if there wasn’t even a plan like that. “What?” I shook my head, letting out a sigh.

“Nami? Nami,” He calls out but all I hear in my head is Mark telling me that he was supposed to be out with his friends today in the afternoon and now I was seeing a possible doppelganger of one his friends – or maybe he was talking about other friends but he can’t be telling me that he’s going out with his friends when I don’t know who he’s talking about.  “Are you okay?” He asked and gives me a light poke over my shoulder. “Hey,”

“Aren’t you with Mark?” I asked him and he shakes his head.

“Why would I be with Mark? I have a lot of things to do in the booth. I can’t just leave and I’m pretty sure he’s busy with his own right now too. What do you mean am I not with Mark?” He crinkles his nose.

Then where is he and who is he with that he had to lie to me about them? I feel my heart c***k a little but I try to stay optimistic and think of other possibilities but that. He lies for the right reasons, I’m sure. Understanding, Nami. Understanding. I breathe in and out and realized I was still in front of Tyler. “You okay?” he asked again and this time, I nod and smiled at him.

“I’m good, and yes, I can give you a free pass for the booth if you like. You can ask Johnny and Jeffrey to come too.”

Tyler smiles and bobbed his head. “Awesome. I’ll let them know.”

I nodded and started walking away but then someone grabs my arms and makes me stop walking. I turn around and see Tyler holding onto me like he was stuck when he needs to say something right now to explain why he’s done what he’s done. He doesn’t speak for a moment and just looked at different directions almost looking for words he’s going to say. “What Tyler?” I asked when he suddenly became deaf and I was getting impatient.

The things you think you know are the things that aren’t true. Don’t be too blinded by what you see. Why do these anonymous notes suddenly patch up well with how I am right now? It’s hurting my pride that it’s luring me to think of things the wrong way.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he repeated. This time, his voice was more worried than a while ago. “I just wanted to ask since you look really pale and I just don’t want to keep telling myself that it’s my fault. It’s not your ankle getting worse from the other day right?”

I cut him off with a chuckle and removed his grip from my arms. “It’s not my ankle and it’s nothing. I’m just a little confused, that’s all. Thanks for the worry though. I’m sure I just need to have some gummies.” I chuckled and remembered his ice cream addiction. “I’ll give you the tickets tomorrow. I’ll see you guys there.”

“Okay then,”

When I was back in my apartment, I couldn’t brush away my thoughts about Mark. I still am wondering where he went that he can’t tell me. I’m partly thankful to Tyler for coming across me so I’d know the truth – the truth that Mark decided to keep from me. Maybe I really am too blinded by what I see. But Mark wouldn’t lie unless he needs to. I’m sure he has reasons.

Minutes later after eating instant noodles for dinner, my phone rings and I see Hikaru’s name flashing over my screen. I half anticipated that it would be Mark but it wasn’t him and I shouldn’t have expected so it would be less painful. I quickly answered the call and he calls my name. “Hey, Karu-kun. What’s up?”

“Nami-chan,” I wait for him. “I see Mark right now. He’s going out from the mall with someone.”

Someone. I have to know that Hikaru intended to call that person someone so I won’t be worried that it was a girl he’s with but I had a good feeling that it was a girl from the tone of his voice and he wouldn’t call me like this if he wasn’t worried for me or if he knew that I know who he’s with. Hikaru’s my childhood friend and I know when he’s not fully telling me everything he knows that I don’t know of. “He said he’s going out with a friend today so,”

“Oh,” He says. “I just thought maybe you didn’t know,”

“Thank you for telling though, Karu-kun.”

“I’ll hang up now then. Good night, Nami-chan. And I am going to your museum tomorrow. I’m just reminding you.”

“Yes, okay. You can get in with Tyler and the others. Good night, Hikaru.” When the call ended, my mind did not stop thinking about what Hikaru just told me. When Mark said he’d be going out with his friends, did he not actually mean his friends that I knew? Was he not talking about Tyler, Johnny and Jeffrey? But I even told him about Tyler telling me he rarely gets to see them and he even responded that it’s for that reason. I sighed. I shouldn’t overthink. I’ll just have to know from him at the right time.

The next day, I was a complete mess but I try to hide how conflicted I am right now. I didn’t want people to think that I was overthinking and that I am over protective of Mark, or that I’m possessive of him because I wasn’t like that and I know that better than anyone else. I liked Mark but I will never be that kind of girlfriend to him. No matter how much I was acting like this, I was mentally not fine with how things are with Mark.

During lunch break, Mark actually came up to me and told me to eat lunch with him. I don’t reject him of course but I was a little curious why he wasn’t mentioning me about that afternoon hang out with his friends that turned to be not his friends that I know. I don’t try to go in that conversation though. I wanted to be with Mark and we rarely do this. I should cherish the moment and hope it happens more often.

Mark brought me to the mall for lunch. I didn’t know why he was acting like this but this was the Mark I liked. The Mark that makes me feel special at any cost. The Mark that I fell for a year ago. “Why are we in the mall?” I asked but he just smiles.

“You told me yourself that you hate cafeteria food remember? I’m doing you a favor princess. So you can properly eat.” he tells me and I nodded remembering that one time I started ranting about how awful school food was. It wasn’t awful – it’s just not appetizing for me, at least – and I do eat them when I don’t have a choice.

“Marcus?”

I looked up to see a girl marching her way towards us. Her hair was perfectly curled down to her chest, and her pink fairy dress was sparkling. She was straight up from a kid’s cartoon show. I start to wonder who the girl was and tried not to think she was the girl Hikaru saw him with because if she was, I might end up ruining her fairy aura and turn her into a pitiful Thumbelina.

“Juliette, hi,”

And Mark knows her. I was praying the girl was only one of the many girls who actually knew Mark by name. Now I was getting so intimidated by this fairy girl who apparently is someone Mark really knew. I can almost see Tinkerbell wings attached to her back because of how delicate and elegant she was acting and let’s not forget how I hate what was happening right now but I try to show her my fake smile as Mark introduces me to her. Mark normally introduces me as his girlfriend but he didn’t tell her this time which got me furious all of a sudden and confused why he wasn’t telling this fairy I was his girlfriend. “Nami, this is my friend Juliette. Juliette, this is Nami.” He tells her but I play friendly and brought my hands up for her to shake, waiting for Mark to tell him that I was his girlfriend. It never came out of his mouth.

The moment I heard Mark tell me she’s a friend, I immediately start having a panic attack. How come I never met this friend of yours? I ask myself instead and had no answer to it at all. “It’s nice to meet you,” I tell her. I am the girlfriend, by the way. I try to say in my head but my mind stops myself from saying that out loud. So am I just Nami today? I figured I was.

“What brings you here?” she chuckles with her tiny voice.

“What brings you here?”

I watch them laugh at each other and for some reason, I felt out of the picture. Like I was watching a scenario from a romance movie where the male lead boy meets the leading lady and I’m not the leading lady. I was more of a personal assistant of Mark who was standing next to him this whole time watching the two of them flirt-talk each other right before my eyes.

“We’re just getting lunch. Do you want to come join us?”

I glared at Mark at that and he was just smiling brightly at the fairy girl. “Or maybe she has to be somewhere important today?”

“Oh no! I’d love to eat lunch with you!”

My eyes literally twitched. Did he actually invited this fairy to our only lunch date? Why? Who does she think I am? His maid? I asked hoping he would at least still remember that I was with him but he fails to notice me and the fairy agrees to join us. It was a bad lunch is what I’m trying to say at this point. Bad lunch.

“Do you feel like you just want the world to stop spinning?” I ask Hikaru and he looks confused. I’m confused myself so I should know best. “Feeling like a background for couples in front of you is the worse.” Hikaru just confirmed that Juliette was the girl Mark was with last Tuesday after showing him a picture of her. I did search for her i********: account and holy grail, she wasn’t a normal student. Who has fifty thousand followers and is normal? That’s just weird. She’s a win for that aspect.

Hikaru frowns at me. “What are you talking about, Nami-chan?”

I sighed and looked up to the beautiful sky. “It’s like Sophee versus little ‘ol me over again. Only this time, Sophee isn’t the girl but that fairy pink princess.” I groaned in frustration. “For as long as he says they’re friends, I guess I don’t have to worry anything about it right?”

He doesn’t reply to me this time until he says, “So are friends supposed to be all comfortable with each other?” He suddenly asked and when I looked back at him, brows creasing, I ask him what he means by that but he lifts up his finger and points at a direction.

I follow where it leads and it leads to a couple walking together with big smiles plastered all over their faces. The couple I was talking about involves my boyfriend and his fairy pink princess friend. Juliette laughs and slaps Mark’s chest but in a very gentle and sensual way – or at least that’s what my eyes see. Sometimes I really hate Hikaru for being too honest. Can’t he just hide this from me instead of actually showing me? “I’m sure Mark has something to say to all of these.” I say convincing myself. I trust Mark with all my heart and I know he has to have some sort of reason for being this close with Juliette, pink fairy princess girl.

At the end of the fourth day, everyone was preparing for the second to the last day of the school festival. Everyone looked like they were talking about something and they seem to be very interested and secretive as they stop talking when they see me enter inside the booth. I gulped and wondered what they were talking about. I didn’t want to find out that I was the one they’re talking about because I wasn’t ready to face college rumors but they’re already making me feel like I’m the one they’re talking about.

“Nami, can you bring the white paint from the office here?” Gail said and I nodded. “We need to cover up dirt from the structures or people are going to think they’re paying for something unappealing to the eyes.”

When I reached the office, I quickly scan for the paint buckets and remembered keeping them inside Jonah’s office. I look for it inside his office and asked for permission virtually since Gail said to have it in the booth. I see them over the corner of the room and the moment I bent down to reach for it, I hear voices echoing inside the office that made me freeze from my position.

“Isn’t Marcus dating Nami?”

I feel my heart race at the mention of my name. I slowly stand back up and hid myself behind the wall inside Jonah’s office. The line sounded familiar. It was the same time I found out that Jay and Myra were getting engaged but it was me and Mark this time.

“They’re not the talk in their department though. It’s a completely different story! I mean, they’re even going to perform together for some show or something.”

“What? Really?”

“The journalism department. They’re saying that Marcus is secretly dating Jul—”

Before I know, I was pulled back, crashing into a firm chest build and I feel force over my ears. I wasn’t able to hear anything but a thick sound wave. That time, I couldn’t even move because I can complete the sentence myself even if I was cut off by— a body I wasn’t used to hugging.

When the hugger slowly pulls away, I managed to look up to see who my savior was this time and see Jonah looking at me with sorrow in his eyes. Jonah. I say his name but I was sure I didn’t say that out loud. Mark. I gulped and felt my mind ache the same pain my heart feels right now. “Mark’s not dating Juliette.” I say and this time, Jonah reacts with his face and I can tell that he wasn’t happy with what I said. “He’s not secretly dating her.” I shake my head. “He can’t do that to me. He’s,” I paused with a heavy heart. “Not like that.” He’s not a player.

“You’re the only person who knows the truth so stay on your ground and believe what you think is true.” He says before flashing me a smile I’ve come to really like. His smile and his words are like priceless gummies to me. The type that would make me feel better after one witness. “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” he suddenly asked. “After the school fest, I mean. Think of this as our first hang out as friends. No malice, no hope for whatever. Just a hangout.”

I knew then I wasn’t sober enough to think because I nod my head and let Jonah take me to wherever.