The world I left behind

Chapter 1 The sun beams into my eyes and I instantly realise, it’s morning. Forcing myself to open my eyes I grab the edge of the bed, pulling myself up to sit. “Rana!!” I hear. The voice feels like a thousand shards of glass against my ears. I get up, I walk into the bathroom with the intention to shower but my mind drifts elsewhere. Before I realise it I’m all dressed and ready to head to my lectures. I walk down the wooden stairs paying attention to every thump my feet make when they make contact with the floor. I can hear my mum in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, baking, laundry and whatever else she does before the crack of dawn. “Rana, you’re going to be late you know” “Good-morning mother” I force myself to speak “Morning” a faint reply My mother loves to talk, and that’s all she does and at some point, I’ve learnt to blur her out. All she needs to hear is a “yes mum”. I walk out the door, even though my legs tell me otherwise. The sun blazing atop my forehead, making it impossible to fully open my eyes. I reach the classroom and open the door wide open. The lecture has started. My cheeks fall red from embarrassment. “Ms Reyess, very punctual as always” his voice was full of sarcasm. But that did not take away the tension i felt between my legs when he spoke. I snap back and swiftly walk towards the only seat that was open. Front and centre. Great. The lecture passes by like nothing. I could listen to his voice for hours and not be satisfied. His dark chocolate hair, dreamy blue eyes, tall and muscular figure drew me to him but his intelligence made it impossible for me to pay attention. It was not about the quality of the lecture he gave, it was the tone he used, the technique he delivered knowledge with. He displayed intelligence a hundred times over. Soon enough the classroom was empty and my mind finally snapped back “I’m so stupid” I whisper to myself before standing up to leave. “Ms Reyess” I hear, right before I walk out the classroom door. I wish he could call me by my name. Rana. I turn around and look at him. And for a second I saw his eyes wondering around my curves that showed through the jeans I wore. I sit on the chair directly facing him and he begins to talk. I’m not sure what about. All I thought of was the traces of his muscular arms tightening around the blue shirt he wore. He sat on the edge of his table and I had a front row view to the shape of his member. A ringtone interrupted my train of thoughts. It was my phone. I pulled it out of my bag and an unknown number was projected. Hesitantly, I answered. Hearing the news that I did. My body turned cold. I froze, not knowing whether to cry my eyes out or keep it together. With the ringing in my ears, I blank out, dropping my phone onto the cold floor. The next thing I knew, Mr Smith shaking me vigorously. “Rana, Rana, Rana” he said repeatedly. That was the first time he said my name. Him and I rush towards the parking lot. We get into his car and he rushes me home. Or at least where home used to be. He pulls up to my street, and I could vaguely see through the crowd of people obstructing my view. I push the car door open and without looking back, I walk towards my house. Noise, sirens, ambulances, dogs and waves of people crowded around my house. I get close enough to see and. Nothing. Ashes. Just ashes. Everything burnt to ashes. I run further towards the house calling out to my mum, tears dripping from my eyes profusely. One of the fire fighters got a hold of me and held me still and asked whether my name was Rana. I answer “yes, where’s my mum?” he held me still and asked me to calm down. “Where is my mum?” I asked again “I’m sorry kid”. He finally replied and the look on his face gave me the answer I needed. She was gone. My house was gone. The hallway I grew up running down, the room I decorated every year, the living room we played scrabble in, the kitchen she made her special peach pie in, the garden she had in the back yard. Everything was gone. My heart sunk. The grief washed in stronger than any feeling I had ever experienced before. How could this happen? Why? I had a million things running through my mind but at the same time my mind felt void, empty, mute. An officer gets a hold of me and begins to explain what happened. “Struck by lightning” he said. Everything else he said was drowned by the constant ringing in my ears until he loudly asked if I had any relatives to go live with for the time being, before the insurance kicked in. I had no reply. I had no one to go to, no family, no one but her. My life was ruined