His Memories of Her

41th

“Here you are. Are you..”  A voice of a man came and a face that I feel like I have seen before but I just could not remember even though how much I try to remember while he keeps staring at me with wide shock eyes and perfect O shaped mouth that has been open for a few minutes already.

“Hey.” I said trying to wake him up if he is ever in daze.

“Oh, sorry it is just that I was blown away. You look so gorgeous tonight. Gorgeous enough to make me feel envy of my best friend for having you.” He said as he frantically opens the car door that I did not noticed is sitting on the side of the road in front of me.

“Best friend?” I said or so I thought but I did not hear my voice or even felt my mouth opening but instead I could see my reflection from the car window smiling.

I am not sure what is happening but I am sure enough that my body is moving on its own as it climb up the car while holding the man's hand in help of me to climb up wearing a knee length baby pink dress with sneaker.

“Sneakers?” I exclaimed in my mind. I have never worn one in my entire life. My brother has been strict towards me. He always makes sure that I dress as lady like as I could.

“Is this what I could?” I said to myself. While watching the man who just closed my door runs around towards the driver's seat leaning forward as I could not really see his face from the passenger seat. I need to have a good look so I could try harder to remember him.

“I am sure you are excited. But I hope you would be happy from what he prepared. He did his best, although I could not tell if he did it perfectly since I have never done that to any girls I have dated. I just could not help but to wish that you both would have a good time tonight.” The man said turning his head every once in a while, after starting the engine and start driving.

I could feel and hear myself giggling to what he said. I feel scared but still I continue to let things to continue. And the next thing I did is to speak. I open my mouth and said “Seems like he prepared something so grand. Only grand things are the things I know did not exist in your dating system. And saying that, I guess this is really a date.” Before giggling again.

The man chuckles along with my giggles and said “You just know me so well.  And yes, it is a date. I could not believe that you guys could argue for minutes over something so obvious, obvious enough that it seems so silly bickering.” Looking over to through the rear-view mirror.

“Bickering? Something obvious? Obviously silly?” I said outlook or so I thought until I did not heat my voice and made me realize that it was all in my mind and instead, I said another thing. “You know? How?” I said as my giggling continues which my body has been doing on its own since earlier.

“We were together this morning when you called him or he called you?” he said sounding so unsure.

“I called him since we did not see each other this morning. I had to be at school later than our usual meeting time.” I said once again that I stopped thinking of how and just let it go and watch and listen to everything.

He chuckles again and said “Well, I guess you miss him that much huh? But you do not have to worry, you will see him again any minute now.” He said as the journey continue.

Until I feel a hard impact behind me that I found myself flying to the front seat before everything spins around, turning and turning while I feel so hard to breath and piercing pain all over my body as something has been stabbing me in different place of my body.  The next thing I know is that I am lying down with my upper half is on the road while the other is still inside the car. It is so hard to move that even if I want to I could not call out to the person who is with me, I just feel my lips moving but without voice and before everything turn pitch black, I hear myself whispering something “Henry" and before turns quiet in this pitch black surrounding that I could not see anything instead just the pain that is so excruciating that I feel like I want to die.

“Irene?” a voice came, obviously worried tone but still soft and warm. It is so soothing that I did not notice my body is shaking.

“No, it hurts. If you move me, I will die. Stop!” I said while keeps on hearing the voice that has been calling me while feeling someone shaking my whole body.

“Catherine wake up!” is the last thing I heard before everything came into light as I open my eyes and sees a face over me looking at me so worriedly.

He puts his arm on my back as he helps me up, making me to sit up and made me realize I am on a bed as I see my feet bring covered by a blanket. The next thing came is a glass of water that is handed by Henry before he put his hand on my face with a towel wiping my face.

“You have been yelling, you had a nightmare.” He spoke.

I look at him with fright in my veins as I shakily said “Nightmare?” but it felt so real, I still could feel the fright and pain.’ Keeping the last part in my mind.

“I was so scared when I heard you yell but thankfully, it is just a nightmare.” He said looking at me while he keeps on wiping my sweat.

I keep looking at him, I am still in pain from the pain my night mare has given me and still terrified that I could not even say anything but just stare at Henry as he looks back at me worried, while still wiping my sweat all over my face. It has continued for a good few minutes before he finally opens his mouth and said “Why do you not go and wash up? Maybe that would make you feel better? I will cook us breakfast. Are you fine with some fried rice and hotdogs?” with a smile on his face but since I have been watching him since I opened my eyes, looking through his eyes, I could say, clearly could tell that his eyes still wear the worry he has since earlier.

“That sounds great.” I said finally found my voice and something to say.

Henry’s eyes have lightened up which made him smile even more and said “Which is? The shower or the breakfast?”

I somehow manage to giggle just by watching his face and hearing his joking toned voice and to my surprised, reached his hand and hold it before I finally say “Both” and stopped when his eyes followed my hand in both surprise and wonder.

“Sorry!” I quickly said, frantically and embarrassed.

“It is fine, you just took me by surprise.” He quickly said back wiping the last drop of sweat on my face which is on the side of my cheek. I could feel his warm finger brushing through my cheek it is so warm, warmer than the sun light although I know it does not make sense as there will be nothing could be warmer than that, but right now, I do certainly feel it, a certain someone’s finger that had contact with my skin for only a second made me feel that certain level of warmth.

“I am being weird am I not?” I said giggling awkwardly as I remove the blanket on me so I could finally get up and could take a shower.

“Not really, but are you fine enough to stand alone?” he said as he stood up from sitting beside me on the edge of the bed.

“I am, you do not have to worry that much.” I said as my feet finally touch the carpeted floor which tickles me a little bit.

Henry remained silent but I could feel his gaze on me as I push up myself from sitting on the edge of the bed, getting enough support so I could finally stand up and take myself towards the bathroom which I am carefully and successfully doing taking a few steps at a time.

“Hey!” Henry exclaimed at the same time I see everything suddenly spinning, or so I thought until I felt strong arms of Henry followed by his face closing to mine and the ceiling came to my view on the corner of my eye while focusing to Henry’s face on mine looking so worried. He is so close that I could hear his high heart beat and his breath that is also going on so fast.

“Sorry, I thought my legs are fine, did not imagine they are even more numb than I thought.” I said giggling while lying on Henry’s lap who is kneeling on the floor.

“I think you should have breakfast on bed for today.” He said before scooping me up from his lap and put back on the bed.

“I will just take a rest and I will be fine.” I said protesting to what he said.

My emotions are all jumbled up because of everything that has going on between us. The uncomplicated thing she felt last night before finally going to bed after having a few bottles of beers with Henry while watching a movie and eating popcorn, or in short while she is having a movie date with Henry is now long gone. All she could feel are the complications that her nightmare has given her. I did not expect that fact that at the moment of my dying, it is this man’s name I would be calling instead of my brother, which has given me the idea that our relationship is not what I thought was a one sided, that is only on his side, that mine was not deep enough for me to search for him before everything turns pitch black. And now that I am not sure if that night mare happened on the same day of what he just told me last night or on another occasion, but I could not help but try to confirm it by the way he acted last night, that the next thing he was about to tell me is such a devastating thing for him not to find the resolve to say it, to tell the story of it.

I have not told anyone but the point I have with my shrink right at this moment is already half of those three years, but I did not mean anything by asking him of how we met each other even though I already knew, but because I just wanted to know of how things have gone on his perspective, the curiosity it might have been. And now, I feel like I needed to blame the same reason of having that nightmare. I could not help but to think of what might have happened in that part he is so indecisive to tell.

“Wait here, I will bring you up your breakfast.” Is what Henry said that have interrupted me from thinking about of what I am feeling and why right now.

“Why do you not just take your time to make our breakfast while I keep on resting and will just go down when I could?” I said trying to convince him not to make me eat my breakfast on this bad.

The happenings on us have gone too fast, it is almost in fast forward but myself is also half to blame as I was the one who insisted on doing this story telling without really knowing everything. I tried to ask my brother before I ask this man, and all said was this man was never been the one to blame and he have blamed himself enough already. And so, by thinking that we were just too close friends in the past making the reason why I have spent those three years mostly with him made me somehow courageous to ask him to tell me, even to the point of pestering him so that he would tell me. I never would have thought that we both weigh the same feelings for each other or mine was not that far from his.

“Ok, if you insist this much, just take your time and come down whenever you are ready.” He said before picking up the used glass that to my guess will be brought down by him.

Sleeping over like it is only a normal thing to do, and having movie dates and now he even want me to have breakfast on bed is just too much for me to take so fast specially after that nightmare all in just one day.