THE SADIST 2 (BxB)

Chapter 4: Jarius

"Did you see their freaking faces?" Tuwang-tuwa si Jurace (anak ni Tito Flame) habang sinisiko ang mga kaibigan. Amazed na amazed ito sa nagawa. Nagkatinginan ang kambal na sina Jayson Neil at Juan Miguel (anak ni Tito Summer) na tila ba nagtuturuan kung sino ang unang babatok sa kaibigang bilib na bilib sa sarili. Ano ba ang napakaamazing na nagawa nito? Siya lang naman ang naglagay ng graffiti sa locker ng mahal kong kapatid. Robby (anak ni Tito Ryan) rolled his eyes at them then looked at me.

"Happy now?" He raised his brow. I smirked at him. Pagkatapos ay tumingin ako sa dalawang taong magkaakbay at nakatingin sa nakasulat sa pintuan ng locker. I straightened up my stance when I saw the taller one softly squeezed Zeke's shoulder.

"Tara. It's time to let them know of our presence." Yaya ko sa mga kaibigan ko at nagpatiuna nang naglakad papunta sa kinaroroonan ng dalawa na kanina pa namin pinapanuod.

Nang makita nila ako ay agad na nahulog ang kamay nung lalaki mula sa balikat ni Zeke na agad namang nag-iwas ng tingin. Tumitig ako na may paghahamon sa lalaki. Nakita ko ang pagpipilit niyang labanan ang takot na lumukob sa pagkatao niya dahil sa presensiya namin. I smirked at him. He should be scared because right infront of him are the masters of the 7 Demons.

Bumaling ang mga mata ko sa graffiti.

"Faggot." Dahan-dahan kong sinabi ang salitang iyon. I made sure that my voice is filled with disgust. "It suits you." Itinitig ko ang mga mata ko kay Zeke. Nakita ko ang lalo niyang pamumula pati na rin ang pagkuyom ng kamao niya. Napangisi ako. Ano ang ibig niyang iparating sa pagkuyom ng kamao niya? Lalaban siya?

Matagal na katahimikan ang namayani sa aming lahat. Parehong nagpapakiramdaman ang dalawang panig.

"Wala ka pala eh." Natatawa akong nakipaghigh five kay Jayson. Pati na rin kay Jurace na proud na proud pa rin sa kanyang 'accomplishment'. Hindi ko na sinubukan pang ibaling ang palad ko kina Miggy at Robby dahil alam kong against sila sa ginawa ko. Migz sympathizes with the faggot while Rob simply doesn't care.

"F-f**k you." Mahina ang pagkakasabi ng salitang iyon pero tila ito bombang sumabog sa tenga naming lahat.

Our laughters froze. Sabay-sabay kaming napatingin sa lalaking obvious na kinakabahan ngunit gustong lumaban. Pare-parehong naningkit ang mga mata naming nakatingin sa kanya.

"Ulitin mo nga yung sinabi mo." Matigas na tanong ni Robby sa kanya.

"T-tara na, J-jessie." Sa wakas, narinig ko rin ang boses niya. I saw him hold that Jessie's hand as he tried to pull him away.

"Ulitin mo yung sinabi mo!" It was Jayson's voice who totally freaked Zeke out. Both of them flinched from Jayson's voice and gaze.

"Dude, wag mo silang sigawan. Tinatakot mo eh. Dapat dahan-dahanin mo." Hinila paalis ni Jurace si Jayson at pumwesto sa dating kinatatayuan ng huli.

"U-u-li-tin-mo-ba-yung-sina-bi-mo-o-pa-du-du-guin-ko-yung-ngala-ngala-mo?" Dinahan-dahan nito ang pagbigkas sa sinabi na tila nakikipag-usap siya sa isang taong gulang na bata. Pero mas lalong nahintakutan ang dalawa sa sinabi niya.

"I... s-said..."

"Please! Leave us alone. Wala kaming ginagawang masama sa inyo." Zeke pleaded as he went infront of his friend.

"Wala? Sigurado kang wala?" Lumapit ako sa kanya hanggang sa wala ng makadaan na hangin sa pagitan naming dalawa.

"K-kuya... please. Stop this, please. O-or else..." napalunok siya nang makita ang lalong pagtiim ng mga tingin ko sa kanya.

"Or else what, pet? Lalaban ka na? Isusumbong mo ako kina Daddy at Papa?" Walang kabuhay-buhay kong tanong sa kanya. Nakita ko ang pagdaan ng pagkalito sa kanyang mga mata. C'mon, Zeke, show me your fangs. Show me bravery. Show me you're not scared of me.

"O baka naman gusto mong matulad sa alaga mong poodle itong kaibigan mo?" Ilinapit ko sa tenga niya ang bibig ko at binulong ko ang aking sinabi habang tinitignan ang kaibigan niyang nasa kanyang likuran na magkadikit ang kilay na nakatingin sa amin.

Inalis ko ang tingin sa walang kuwentang lalaki at napatingin sa may batok ni Zeke. Ewan pero parang unang pagkakataon kong makakita ng batok habang tinititigan ko iyon. Ramdam ko ang paninigas ng katawan niyang nakadikit sa akin. Pati na rin ang mabangong katawan niya. s**t! Bakit pati iyon napapansin ko?

Agad akong iniatras ang ulo ko mula sa gilid ng mukha niya at saka ko siya tinitigan sa kanyang mga mata. I saw his fear and his unshed tears na agad niyang tinakpan sa kanyang pagpikit.

"W-what do you w-want me to do for you to s-stop this kind of bullying, kuya?" Sumusukong tanong niya. Umangat ang kamay ko at hinawakan siya sa panga.

"What do I want you to do? Nothing. You won't do anything. Just enjoy it and have fun. Because I'm gonna make sure you will regret coming into MY life."

Walang sabi-sabing itinulak ko siya. Mabuti na lang at maagap ang kaibigan niya at nasalo ang likuran niya bago pa siya tuluyang bumagsak sa lupa.

"Weak." Nginisihan ko ang madilim na mukha ng kaibigan ni Zeke. Tinalikuran ko sila at naglakad papunta sa mga kaibigan ko.

"Let's go." Utos ko sa kanila. Nakangiting sumunod sila sa akin except for Robby of course na nakabusangot.

...

"It was fun!" Jayson.

"Yeah! It was really fun!" Jurace who's still on cloud nine.

"It was childish!" Miggy. Tss.

"I say it's the most boring thing you've done." Robby gave me a lazy gaze.

"Childish? Boring?" Naiinis ko silang pinaningkitan ng mga mata.

"Yeah." They flatly replied at the same time.

"Tignan natin kung masasabi nyo pa yan bukas." I warned them. Tss. These assholes.

The next day and the following days was so much fun to watch. Jurace, Jayson and I did our best to freak those two faggots out. Naroong lagyan namin ng mga basura ang lockers ng dalawa. We've set traps para makulong sila sa cr o sa anumang bakanteng kuwarto na kinaroroonan nila. We've even set Jessie's car on fire.

I was having so much fun. Everytime I see how bad Zeke feels, I feel delighted. Everytime I hear him scream out in fear when water or insects were poured out on him or everytime, I see him and that Jessie freak being shoved on their lockers or on the hallways by our members, I laugh. Tuwang-tuwa ako tuwing natatakot sila o tuwing nasasaktan sila. But the childish pranks were not enough. I want more. I want worse.

I want to see Zeke cry.

I want to see Zeke suffer.

I want Zeke to regret ever coming to our family.

I want Zeke to pay for turning me to someone I didn't want to be.

I want him to pay for turning me...

.

.

.

.

.

.

Gay.

...

My dilemma really started five years ago, during Dad and Papa's second wedding when I've read that little gay boy's journal.

At first, I was disgusted. Nakakadiring isipin na pinagnanasaan niya ako. I never hated gays because I believe my parents are. Pero dahil sa kanya, dahil sa nalaman ko, nagsimula akong mangilag at magalit sa salita iyon. Kaya naman, pinagmumura ko siya at nasaktan ng araw na yun. Nagkaroon pa nga ng kaguluhan dahil nakita ni Daddy ang duguan niyang mukha. Dahil doon, ipinatapon ako ni Daddy sa Japan. I stayed there for a month. Nang bumalik ako sa San Francisco, nalaman ko na umalis na pala si Zeke papuntang France para doon na magpatuloy ng pag-aaral.

At first, I was relieved. I was so happy. But when days and months passed by, I started to feel empty. There was a certain hallowness in my heart na hindi ko maintindihan kung saan nanggagaling. Nawalan ako ng sigla. Naging matamlay. Until one day, I just found my self inside Zeke's room.

When I smelled him inside his room, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko for some unexplainable reason. I stayed there for a couple of times looking at his personal things, his pc, his albums, his school bag, his notebooks. Then I realized that I was missing that little freak.

Hindi ko sinabi sa parents ko ang tungkol doon. Nahihiya ako. Kapag wala sila, saka ako pumupunta sa kuwarto ni Zeke. I'd stay there for a couple of hours just laying on his bed. Hanggang sa ang pagpunta duon ay naging madalas. It became a habit.

Whenever he skypes with Dad, naroon ako, nagtatago at nakikinig. Kapag naroon naman ako tuwing tumatawag siya, tumatanggi ako kapag tinatawag ako ni Dad para kausapin siya. I don't want to talk to him because I'm scared that I might show or say how much I miss him and how I want him back with us.

Then, I heard from Dad that he has a boyfriend. And f**k, I felt a pain stabbing at my heart when Papa confirmed it. They were happy for him. They didn't judge him. I felt the opposite. I was hurt, disappointed. I got mad. I was so angry with him because... 

I wished it was me. I wanted it to be me. Then, I realized, I am already in love with him.

I love him that I cannot stand hearing him tell my dad about him and his f*****g boyfriend. That's why I asked them to send me to the Philippines. Of course, I didn't tell them my real reason.

But coming to the Philippines was worse than I expected it to be. Lalo ko siyang namiss. Kapag tumatawag si Dad, lihim akong nagpapasalamat dahil kusa siyang nagkukuwento ng tungkol kay Zeke. Years passed at ganun pa rin ang feelings ko. Until I decided to go to France. I just wanted a peek, I told my self. And when I saw him, my heart was broken for the second time around. I saw him so happy with someone else. The hurt and pain turned to anger. After turning me gay, ipagpapalit niya lang pala ako.

Nanatili ang galit sa puso ko after that. I felt he destroyed me. Pero kapag nagmumuni-muni ako, alam kong nasa puso ko pa rin ang kagustuhang mahalin niya ako ulit.

And when we finally saw each other after five years he just told me that he wanted me to accept him as my brother. Why the hell would I accept him as a brother if what I really wanted for him to be is my lover? And I would make him realize that. I would make him realize that he doesn't need my family. He just needed me. I don't want him to be a part of my family. I want him to be a part of me... just me.

At titigil lang ako sa pambubully sa kanya kapag narealize niya yun. Kapag narealize niya na sa buhay niya, ako lang ang kakailanganin niya. Ako lang ang magmama-ari sa kanya. At ako lang ang dapat na mamahalin niya. Ako lang. And if hurting him would help him realize that? Then so be it. Ganti ko na rin yun sa kanya for breaking my heart not just once but twice.

"Jarius, you should see this." Jayson called my attention. I stood up and walked towards them. Pinagkukumpulan nila ang tablet kung saan nakaconnect ang mga cctv's sa buong Martenei.

Inabot ko ang tab mula kay Miggy at curious na tinignan ang pinagkakaguluhan nila. I felt all the hair on my body burn.

Inside the men's cr, Zeke and Jessie are there.

Kissing.