way out of your league

Dealing with loss

Nathan's POV

After my brother's death,I kept feeling like I lost everything.I pushed everyone away,I just needed time to myself but Natalie was always there. Even when I thought she would dump my sorry ass,she still stuck around.I began drinking and partying more.I would always get into fights with my parents who wanted me to take over the company. My dad went back to managing it and after much persuasion I began working under my dad.He was teaching me how to run the company.

Natalie helped me get back on track a little.She helped me move into my Condo,she also arranged the apartment herself,picking out nice furnitures and all that shit.when I finally moved in,the place was awesome.I wanted her to move in with me but she kept telling me about how it was more practical for her to stay close to school,that led to our first disagreement.She stopped her job for me and I wanted to give her an allowance but she also refused,we quarrelled about that too.Finally I got her a car as a gift so she wouldn't have to use cabs anymore and she also rejected it,saying she didn't want me to spend so much on her even while she is giving me so much.I felt like I was losing her,I couldn't even get on with my life without her being close by.I was slowly becoming the kind of persons I hate,a clingy ass.

I know I took it out on her too.finally when she decided to get back to campus,I felt I was losing her completely so I lashed out at her accusing her of abandoning me when I needed her most.When she left crying I realized I was a monster,I was draining the life out of her.I needed to let her go while I figured out my life.So while hosting a party in my house,I invited Stacy.I knew her seeing me with Stacy would push her away without her feeling guilty about leaving me.so immediately she got into the apartment,I took Stacy upstairs to a spare room, Hansel saw me taking her there while rushing to come get me I think Amelia followed him,cause I was Wondering where Joy was.

"What the f**k are you doing dude,you have to get your s**t together and stop this" hansel said "Stay out of this" I said "No,f**k no,I know what you are trying to do.You are trying to push away the only person who could get through to you. You would regret this dude" he said as I turned ignoring him,I noticed Stacy had already undressed herself and was in her thong only, I was disgusted but I knew I had to do this so finishing up the scorch on my glass I pulled her on top of me just as Amelia began forcefully kissing Hansel,Stacy said "I don't mind helping you forget her,i'll be whoever you want just f**k me" soon she was kissing me while I tried relaxing.I was about to push her off when Natalie and Joy came in. "What the f**k is she doing here with you" Joy said as Amelia kiss hansel one more time.As Joy rushed out,hansel pushed Amelia away going after her.I turned looking at Natalie while I kissed Stacy. She had tears in her eyes and it was hurting me to see her like that,she nodded without saying a word and she left.

I pushed Stacy away from me trying to stand up but everything became blurry while she laughed,this b***h drugged me while I was talking to hansel.She turned my game around on me.Fuck,no I need Natalie's help but then,I just pushed her away.Soon she took my d**k in her mouth and began sucking,as soon as I was hard she was riding me.This is not the first time this has happened to me.It happened when I was thirteen and nobody was there to stop whatever was happening.As she went on,I simply took my mind away to a happy place.It was simply me and Natalie and there was no drama.As I cumed I Opened my eyes to see Natalie at the door,before passing out.

I woke up after a while to see Andre, Hansel and Sandra in the room forcing Stacy to drink something but everything seemed blurry still.The next time I was awake,I felt something connected to my hands,looking at the room where I was,I noticed it was the hospital.The doctor came in along with my parents,my mum was crying while my dad looked tired and stressed.I kept searching for Natalie. The last time I was here,I heard her voice when I woke up.I kept expecting to see her but I didn't "if you are searching for your so called girlfriend, she isn't here, she abandoned you when you needed her most" Sandra said "No I pushed her away,only to realize I needed her" I said with my sore throat.I requested for water which I got.

After a week I was discharged from the hospital.I went to see Natalie but she wouldn't talk."isn't this what you wanted, so why are you here.To see if I was broken or what"She said "please Natalie, i'm so sorry.I shouldn't have done that.I felt you would be better off without me so.." I said but Natalie cut me off "So f*****g someone else was the best way to initiate a breakup or tell me you needed space" she asked "No natty, please let me explain, I didn't plan on f*****g that slut,I never wanted to let me explain" I said "Go away Nathan, I don't want your stupid explanations,I just want to focus on my school work and finding myself" she said walking away.I won't give up so easily,I kept coming back but she still won't listen to me.

I went to Nelson's apartment to sort his things.Sandra came over to meet me there.I just ignored her doing what I had to do. "How are you Nathan" she said but I kept quiet,doing whatever I had being doing."please Nathan,We were friends before and you would be my baby's uncle,can't we be civil with each other, Nelson would have wanted that" she said "fine Sandra,i've heard you" I said sighing "how are you feeling"I said "A little morning sickness once in a while but i'm fine" she said and I nodded. "i'll be keeping Nelson's stuff in my parents house,so if you need anything of his to show your baby, you can get it there" I said while she nodded.I went back to see Natalie in school and I was shocked to see her talking to Mike walking over to her I said "please Natalie let me explain" but she kept trying to walk away so I tried stopping her but Mike cut in "I don't think she wants to talk to you dude" I was pissed so I pushed him.Natalie was at his side the next minute,turning to me she said "Nathan stop it,I need to focus on my academic load,this is my final year don't ruin it for me.please Nate,just for this year" she said and I nodded.While she left I kept staring at her.I can't believe I messed things up with her.