way out of your league

INSECURITIES 5

Nathan POV

Trying to get Natalie back hasn't been an easy fit for me and after we kissed,I felt it would become a little bit easier or we would get closer but we didn't,instead she keeps finding new ways to avoid me. while driving to our first meeting I ended up kissing Natalie on her cheek and I felt the way she responded meant she was into me but what she said next was like pouring a bucket of ice cold water over me slowly. I started thinking if all these while she felt I was harassing her,even when we kissed did she feel this way,was she scared of me?,have I become a monster?,am I not really listening to what she was saying?. Maybe she was really serious about me leaving her alone and my self absorbed mind kept thinking everything could go back to the way it was that I didn't realize I was being pushy and harassing her.Fuck,am I a monster?.I love her and I just felt the feeling was mutual but has my love for her blindsided me to the fact that she doesn't want this?.This was all I could think about all through that board meeting,if space is really what she wanted from me,I should let her go if I truly love her.But the thought of letting her go was killing me,what do I do.Maybe I need to move my attention else where cause I was suffocating her with how I was acting.

With all these thoughts in my head,I easily accepted Cassandra's invitation to her office.It not like it's the first time we've done this but that was before I became serious with Natalie.After Natalie left the office,Cassie began the usual,trying to seduce me and I let her cause I just wanted to take my mind off Natalie, give her what she wants by letting her go.As I thrust into Cassie I wasn't feeling it at all cause this wasn't the face I wanted to see,this wasn't the body I craved for or the person I loved so after she cummed twice,I flipped her, thrusting into her from the back while I fantasized about who I really wanted,that made it easier and I was able to c*m. After I did,I went to her bathroom to dispose the condom feeling disgusted, angry and just frustrated with my life.As I walked back in trying to dress up with Cassie naked and trying to go on another round Natalie walked in,I felt tired expecting her to just ignore us but when she avoided my eyes I felt awful like I hurt her,I became confused, wasn't this what she wanted,for me to give her space.She always was quick to remind me we weren't dating and she wasn't my baby so I should keep things between us professional so why does it feel like I did cheat on her.

"You need to call your personal assistant to order or better still fire her, she is clingy, unprofessional and rude" Cassie said after Natalie left "Don't talk about her like that, it's none of your business how she act and don't butt into my business,this is a fling so don't tell me what to do" I replied pissed and then walked out.That evening Natalie and I quarrelled and I was shocked to know she felt hurt about my actions but when we met to go over a particular file,she blocked me out leaving me confused. The next day after our board meeting which started late and ended by two pm, Cassie invited a few of us to a club since we had completed all paper work and would be done with a brief meeting the next morning.I drove with Natalie who was invited by someone else.She looked sexy as f**k and I was honestly struggling to keep my hands off her. "Nathan let's dance"cassie said since I refused to drink,I decided to humour her since Natalie was also dancing with some other guy which was irritating me, she even let him touch her and that guy was crossing all boundaries of decency with her which had me boiling "Nathan why are you so distracted,I'm right here baby" Cassie said bringing my attention back but I was not moved by what ever she was doing,still I let her while watching Natalie.I felt Cassie grinding on me while I was watching Natalie which was pissing me off but Cassie blocked Natalie from my line of sight kissing me which I found irritating so I pulled back creating some distance between us while she said "Nathan let's get the hell out of her,I want you to f**k be hard and rough" trying to sound sexy but I was immediately turned off so I said "I'm not interested Cassie,not tonight" walking away to find Natalie when I noticed she wasn't on the dance floor.

I looked for Natalie but I couldn't find her, so I guessed she must be in the bathroom,"I'll help you look for her over there" Cassie said and I was relieved but after waiting for a long while two girls came out saying "I wonder why they are fighting over a man,I hope his d**k is gold else it would infuriating" soon Natalie rushed out past me "Natalie are you ok" I called as Cassie grab me saying "That b***h needs to go,she attacked me,she is violent".Turning to Cassie I said "I don't want to hear you call her names,it makes you look like a clown,a cheap one at that and I am already sick of you clinging to me so f**k off".I called the hotel who verified Natalie was back there so I went back,going straight to her room.I kept on knocking but got no reply so I decided to keep calling her line,when she picked I heard her crying which broke my heart, "Natalie please open up and talk to me, hit me if want to,please just talk to me" I begged "I can't Nathan,I can't do this" she replied "Just open the door and we would talk about it,can you do that for me baby"I asked "I don't want to"she replied "please I can't leave knowing you are sad and hurt, please baby"I kept begging and after a while she opened up and I walked in hugging her while she struggled, hitting me.

"I'm sorry Natalie,I thought this was what you wanted"I said "Yes it is"she said "You are confusing me,I don't want to hurt you Natalie,I love you too much to do that,when you are hurt and sad I feel the same" I said "I just don't like you f*****g her,why did you have to do that, it's not fair Nathan"she replied "Tell me what do you want Natalie, anything for you" I said cupping her face and then she kissed me and that was home.The kiss started light,but soon became heavy with me bitting her lips so she open up which she did and she began pulling my shirt while I kissed her neck loving the sound she makes "Baby is this what you really want,please tell me if you want me to stop" I asked groaning as she slipped her soft hands into my boxer stroking my already hard dick.Stripping her of that flimsy dress seducing me all night I tossed her bra off cupping her breast, massaging and squeezing while she moaned.Sucking one n****e while massaging the other I groaned missing everything about her.With her stroking my d**k faster I knew this was going to a bit rough.

"baby I won't last long if you keep doing that"I moaned "f**k me Nathan" that was all I needed to hear to thrust in,this is home."faster Nate" she moaned and I kept thrusting into her while her p***y was tightening around my d**k,I hope I wasn't too rough "more" she moaned while I groaned with the thought of being too rough long forgotten, watching how her breast kept jiggling as we moved spurred me on,"Ah! Nate,pleaseee,yes, more,yes!" she kept moaned while I pound into her and by the way her p***y was tightening around me I knew she was close,I kept pounding into her warm p***y gripping me more with every thrust "f**k baby,Ah!"I moaned as she kept kissing and sucking the base of my neck.As she cummed she bit my neck and the combination of pain and pleasure sent me over the edge with her.After catching our breath,I tried pulling out but she won't let me so I relax giving her what she wants while gently massaging her breast.

When she kept yawning I knew she was as tired as I was but before we slept off she said "Nathan,hope you know this is just s*x" "Ok if that's what you want it to be"I replied knowing it's never just s*x with us.I woke up the next morning to Natalie riding me,with her breast jiggling as she moved,we ended up f*****g in the bathroom too before leaving for our final meeting.Getting there Cassie cornered me apologizing but I don't even give a f**k about what she was saying but someone was having none of it, frowning Natalie walked towards us, turning to Cassie she said "Nah, it's not going to work.You see whatever happened like you told me last night was because I allowed it to,he is mine and starting from now,I'm not allowing it anymore so keep your slutty hands to yourself b***h" I was shocked cause Natalie rarely used swear words but truthfully speaking I was loving this nonetheless "I can make sure he fires you,you are lame,nosey and very unprofessional for a personal assistant so your days are numbered"Cassie replied "Ummmm! you are right,I'm lame as a personal assistant and that is cause I'm not one,i'm just a stand in,as for being nosey that is because he is mine,finally isn't it an irony for a girl who I found naked in her office after f*****g a man to talk about being professional,do you f**k everybody who walks through your door,I bet you do"Natalie said smugly with Cassie fuming then she said "That is because we are adults and how is it any of your business" "Oh it is,stupid cause he is my mine"Natalie replied "Really so how come he was enjoying himself with me then,I loved every moment him pounding that big d**k into me"Cassie said and I felt disgusted with myself especially since I know it was hurting Natalie "well keep dreaming about that cause it ain't happening again you trust me" Natalie replied,I tried holding her but she pushed my hands away "Nathan just fire her already" Cassie said pouting while looking absolutely ridiculous.Laughing Natalie turned to me saying "Nathan I want her gone, deal with this quickly" then she walked away.

Turning to Cassie I said "Just so you know, there was a reason I turned your face away from me while we f****d, that is because I needed to see the face of someone else, Natalie's face not yours and you were ruining it.We know we don't give a f**k about each other since it has always been just s*x,but you see that girl over there,she is more important to me than you think,yes we are on a break or let's just say she broke up with me so she is my ex but if you think I would pick you and this flimsy s**t over her then you must be really stupid as she implied" "You guys dated,like she is your ex" Cassie asked surprised "I believe that what I just said"I replied "No wonder she is nosey,so if she is so precious to you like you claim and you want her back why didn't you shut me down"Cassie asked and I knew she was just curious "I thought she didn't want to have anything to do with me,I mean she even said I was harassing her"I replied "How stupid are you to believe that,she just doesn't know where to place you since the break up, she is just confused.No wonder she hates my guts.Yea it's just s*x with us Nathan,being a single mother of two trust me,I don't want your baggage even if the s*x is mind blowing so this is for the best" Cassie said and I hugged her before walking away towards Natalie who is frowning.

Natalie avoided me through out meeting, pushing my hands away when I touched her and when we were done she stormed out but turning to me Cassie said "Let me talk to her" I nodded. I met Natalie outside later,we were quiet as we drove to the hotel.Getting to our hotel rooms,I kept pacing thinking of how to approach Natalie,but I heard a knock on the door,I opened without checking who was there,only to have Natalie walk in. Shutting the door I asked "Are you still mad at me" "Does it matter"she replied pulling her bathrobe to reveal a sexy lingerie then she said "It's just s*x Nathan, nothing more" smiling I looked at her already semi hard and said "Am I a gigolo to you" "Don't act like you don't want this"she replied pushing me on the bed and straddling my hips "I might just not be in the mood"I said as she rocked her hips, rubbing on my d**k which is now hard making me groan "What did you say about mood again,I didn't catch that"she replied smugly pulling my briefs down and taking my d**k into her mouth "f**k!ah baby"I groaned as she stroked the base of my d**k while sucking it and humming obviously enjoying what she was doing.I couldn't help thrusting into her mouth while she gagged.when she stopped I groan "Why"I asked cause I was so f*****g close, smiling she backed me still straddling my hips.In one swift move she impaled herself on my d**k making me scream "f**k!!!" while she moaned after a while her feeling comfortable she began moving, slowly at first while I moaned seeing stars,I couldn't help smacking her ass loudly while she screaming and began moving faster and hitting my d**k harder "f**k!yes nathan!" she moaned and I began thrusting upwards to meet her half way making the both of us groan "Harder baby!!ahhh!yes!just like that!" I moaned as she kept impaling herself on my d**k with her p***y dripping and gripping me,f**k!."Nathan more,harder" she moaned as I thrust upwards to her while she pounding on my dick.It wasn't long before we went over the edge.So much for this being just s*x.

The next morning,we had a quickie in the bathroom before she left to pack her things and on our flight we made love, this time slowly,I won't let her close her eyes,I wanted her to see that this isn't just s*x for me.This is everything for me cause I love and I can't lose her.I was scared of losing her.when we landed we were in disarray,our clothes were not properly fixed but I didn't care,I stripped them off finally making love to her completely naked and loving how sweaty she got.it took a while before we finally left.Dropping her off in her apartment I asked "I'll see you at the office tomorrow, right" she nodded before stepping out.

This weekend was a rollercoaster and it made me realize that without her I'm doomed so if she finally decides to drop my sorry ass for real,I would be a walking disaster.I really needed to get my s**t together fast cause I'm not letting her go.