way out of your league

INSECURITIES 4

Natalie's POV

Preparing for my trip to Florida with Nathan was not as smooth as I thought it would be.The cause of this might just be the mental battle going on in my head on how to keep things professional with Nathan.I need to maintain a respectable distance from him,no more games cause those are making things complicated for me besides I'm still yet to clear the scandal which I am unexpectedly connected to.Arrrhhhhhh! my life is so complicated,I wish I had a relationship like Joy or even Cathy.I must have bad luck when it comes to love,cause I have never had one smooth relationship,they always end in disaster.

The next morning Nathan's driver picked me up and I basically kept my distance from Nathan as we flew to Florida.It was a short flight so being professional was easy.While Nathan tried making small talks,I was basically a conversation stopper,less talk,less drama.Checking into our hotel,Nathan pulled me aside just to ask "Nat, what's going on, why are you ignoring me,I felt you were just grumpy but you seem to reply everyone, even make an effort to be nice to every one except me,is this cause of what we did in my office yesterday" I was uncomfortable so I replied "No,it's not.I was just not in the mood.i need breakfast so I can function better" I replied excusing myself just so I could rush to my room.Our first meeting was by two pm,so I had enough time to relax, plan and prepare on how to deal with Nathan.That afternoon I met Nathan at the lobby and I was quick to start a conversation "Hello Nathan,sorry about how I acted this morning,I was just grumpy" "No problem,hope you've had lunch,I wouldn't want you in that mood again"he replied smiling "Come on,I wasn't that bad"I said "I just want to be sure I could get you on your best" he replied "I always give my best" I said as we drove down "I know, that's one of the things I love about you"he replied kissing my cheek while I exhaled,he was just too close and this wasn't professional at all.

It became even s****l when he slip my curls from my eyes,I don't know why he likes playing with my hair then he slide his finger down to my neck while I held my breath.I remembered my plan which was to actually act normal with him since avoiding him won't work.But set clear boundaries,so I said "Nathan" I hate how my voice came off as "Yes baby" he replied softly "That's the thing, I'm not your baby and this isn't even close to us being professional.I need you to treat me strictly as your personal assistant and nothing more" I said firmly this time."Nat, don't act like this,I would tone it down a bit but you would always be my baby"he replied.No,no,no this isn't working,I needed to make myself clear so I said "I don't feel that way about you any more Nathan,this is me trying to act civil with you cause we were once friends but you are harassing me sexually" I said and he recoiled,he was hurt and pissed then he replied "So you really feel nothing for me and think I'm harassing you right" he said bitterly and I nodded feeling my gut and heart twisting "Ok, I'll stay away" he replied as the car stopped with the driver informing us we've arrived.As we moved towards the board room,I could feel how cold Nathan was towards me which I found strange and hurtful.It didn't help that the lady we were having the meeting with was flirting with Nathan.As other board members arrived,she switched to being professional but I couldn't help but snicker,while she looked at me pissed.

when the meeting was over,same lady rushed to Nathan,inviting him to her office,I snickered again cause I know Nathan would turn her down.The b***h was trying too hard but I was shocked when I heard Nathan say "Lead the way" while he followed her.I was confused,I stood there for a while wondering if I should follow them,well I decided to since it could just be a business meeting but when we got to her office she turned to me saying "Aren't you too nosey for a personal assistant,he doesn't need you to act like his body guard or nanny,So do us a favour and shuuuuu" I was pissed with how rude she was so I replied,"I'm only doing my job which is not some thing you would understand" "How rude, can you imagine that Nathan,why does she feel she can disrespect her superior, is she your slut" she said,I was going to reply but Nathan cut in "Natalie could you excuse us,tell the driver to take you back,we'll have a brief meeting this evening when I'm back",I looked at him surprised by how cold he was to me.I left feeling hurt,but why was I feeling this way,this was what I wanted.As I stepped out of the office,I met her personal assistant who informed me,they would send a file for me to go over,I informed her my boss was still around so she can pass the file to him or send it as a mail.

It was already four thirty pm when I left the company.When I got the hotel,I was sent the files through a mail.After working on it,I tried sending the mail back but it wasn't received so I had to rush back to the company to drop the mail with that lady's personal assistant cause they need a copy for our next meeting which was the next morning by nine am.Her personal assistant was not around when I got there so I went directly to her office,after knocking twice,I went in shocked by what I saw.Apparently Nathan and that b***h just had s*x,she seemed pissed "What! how can you just barge in,who allowed you into my office I'll have security throw you out"she screamed "I was required to return this file to you today after working on it,your personal assistant has closed for the day,so I wanted to drop it off directly"I replied avoiding Nathan,I dropped the file while I walked out.

I walked outside the building sad, hurt angry and confused at my reaction,I felt like screaming, hitting something.Getting a cab,I went back to the hotel,I just entered my room when I heard someone knocking frantically,I knew it was Nathan and I needed to answer cause he was still my boss "Natalie are you...."he said but I cut him off saying "I got the file on gross net income,i've worked on it and sent it back,I'll go over it with you,I just need an hour to get ready"I said stressed while I avoided looking at him "Natalie, are you mad at me"he asked quietly stepping into my room while I stepped back "It doesn't matter,just drop it" I replied "Talk to me,I don't get you,what do you want from me,you asked me to stay away, to stop harassing you"He said and my anger just boiled over so I slapped him, I just couldn't stand him so I did it again and while panting I said "So f*****g her is the solution,you are such a disgusting person,I can't believe you did that"I said rushing into the bathroom to throw up.i never knew he followed me till I felt him touch me which made me feel even more irritated so I screamed "Don't touch me Nathan,take your disgusting hands off me you w***e" he stepped out of the bathroom while I cried.when I was done I just wanted to curl up in bed so I went back to the room and I met him still there "Get out"I said but he replied "I'm sorry Natalie but what did you expect me to do after you told me I was harassing you sexually,I felt disgusted with myself and I just needed to give you space,I need to let you go cause that was what you said you wanted.It was killing me but for once I wanted to do what you wanted" after saying that he walked out.

I curled up in bed crying for the next three hours,I just could not accept what is happening.This was what I wanted so why does it hurt so damn much.Why do I feel this way,I thought I was over him, does this mean I still love him or is it just s****l tension between us.Maybe if I try accepting this as what it is,I could actually feel better.with that thought in mind,I met up with Nathan to discuss about the file I received but before we started our discussion I said "I'm sorry Nathan,for barging into that office,for slapping you,for everything I said,I hope we can move on now" "If that is what you want,I would do that,I just want you to be happy"he said and then we focused on the work at hand.