Lost Cowboy

Chapter 4 - Black Bull

Jessie’s P.O.V.

Tears fell from her large brown eyes as she stood there in front of him. A sudden gust of wind caused her fine, long brown hair to whip behind her.

“I can’t go with you. I can’t bear to see you get hurt,” Willow whispered to me.

My mouth never opened to respond. I only stood there and stared into Willow’s large brown eyes. There is sadness in them. She leaned in and placed her soft lips on my cheek.

“I’m sorry, Jessie,” she whispered and walked away.

My body froze in place as I watched her walk away from me. I should chase her. God, please say something to her. But I only stood there mute as a newborn baby. As I watched her disappear, I overheard something behind me. I could finally move and turned to a massive black bull with wide, white horns. His eyes were black as night, and its chiseled muscles rippled as they flexed. The bull snorted, then pawed the ground. I wanted to run but froze again. s**t, I need to run. The bull started moving towards me. f**k, why can’t I move! The massive beast was gaining speed as he got closer. Oh my god, he’s going to kill me. Move now, damn it! The bull lowered its horns toward me, and I accepted my fate. My eyes closed as I waited for the end to come. I heard the thunder of its hooves just feet away.

“I’m sorry, Willow,” I muttered as the bull was on top of me.

With a jerk, I sat up in bed, wide-eyed. I was panting, and my heart was pounding out of my chest. f**k, it was a goddamn nightmare. The sweat poured off my body. It was dark in the room, but I saw Sunny sleeping beside me. I was glad Sunny didn’t wake when I jolted up in bed. I dragged the cover off my body and headed to the bathroom.

The door closed, and I flicked on the light. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. The sweat matted my hair to my head as my eyes were still wide. I finally got my breathing and heart rate under control. I splashed icy water on my face and ran my hands through my hair. What the f**k was that?

That’s the second time she has popped up today. Why now? And what was that f*****g bull? I hate this f*****g feeling. I know what it was, fear. What the hell is happening to me? It needs to stop right now. I don’t need the s**t happening now. My hands gripped the counter, and I took a deep breath, trying to remove these thoughts from my head. I took one last glance in the mirror and flipped off the light.

I moved back to the bed, then slid under the covers. I moved over behind Sunny and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close. Her naked backside snuggled into my front. I placed a soft kiss on the back of her shoulder.

“Jessie?” she whispered.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“I’m fine, only a nightmare,” I admitted.

Her head turned towards me.

“You sure you are fine? You’ve never had nightmares,” she queried.

“It was nothing. Go back to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow,” I lied.

“Good night, baby,” she said and turned towards her pillow.

I kissed her shoulder again.

“Night, gorgeous,” I whispered.

Her breathing became uneven again as she fell back asleep. I couldn’t sleep, though. Every time I closed my eyes, the bull was there, and I’d jolt back awake. What the f**k is wrong? I never suffered this way. A feeling deep in the pit of my stomach gnawed at me. Sleep eluded me. Why is she consuming my thoughts? I haven’t seen or heard from her in years. I need to control this before something terrible happens.

The sunlight started creeping through the curtains. I haven’t been able to fall asleep since I had that nightmare. Laying here with Sunny has a calming effect, but my mind won’t stop. I opted for a quick shower before dressing and heading back to where Sunny was still fast asleep. I sat beside her and moved the hair away from her face. My fingertips traced around her jawline, causing her to stir.

Her eyes fluttered open.

She looked at me, “Jessie? Why are you awake?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” I told her.

I mean, it was part truth.

She gave me a sexy grin.

“Guess I didn’t wear you out enough,” Sunny replied.

“Guess you will need to try harder next time,” I smirked at her.

I leaned over and placed my lips on hers. Sunny groaned at the loss of touch when I pulled away.

“I’m going to head out. I know Frank is awake. So, I will catch a ride with him. You can sleep a while longer,” I said as my thumb caressed her cheek.

She reached up and grabbed my hand.

“Are you OK, Jessie? You are acting strange,” she quizzed.

I gave a half-smile.

“I’m fine, just s**t running through my head right now,” I answered.

“What’s going on?” she asked again.

“It’s nothing, stupid stuff. I will be fine,” I tried to reassure.

She frowned.

“OK, but you can talk to me,” she said.

“I know,” I said, kissing her again. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, baby,” she said, releasing my hand as I headed out of the room.

I walked two rooms over and knocked on the door.

Frank opened the door with a surprised expression and glanced around the hallway.

“What?” I said.

“I was checking if hell froze over, you’re never up this early,” he deadpanned.

My eyes rolled as I pushed past Frank into his room. I took a seat in a chair in the room’s corner. I sat there for a minute, still trying to empty my mind.

“What’s going on, Jessie?” Frank asked, breaking the silence.

I sighed, “I had a f****d up dream last night.”

“About?” Frank questioned as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Something from my past I have tried to forget. Then there was a bull, dark as night with massive white horns. The only thing I could do was watch it as it freight trained me,” I explained.

“This is different,” Frank interjected.

“No s**t. I f*****g jolted awake as it hit me. I couldn’t get back to sleep afterward. Every time I close my eyes, I see that monster charging me,” I continued.

“That’s not good. You have a big day today. Focus on the task at hand,” Frank remarked.

“I realize that, and I’ve been trying to do that. I don’t understand where this crap is coming from,” I grumbled.

Frank shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know. It may have to do with you getting hung up yesterday,” Frank guessed.

“It’s not the first time I’ve got hung up, Frank. Christ, I’ve gotten gored, trampled, and rag-dolled many times. A simple hang-up shouldn’t bother me this much.” I hissed.

“I don’t know, Jessie. This sport is dangerous. It’s possible the fear finally caught up to you,” Frank said.

“I’ve never been afraid of a thing in that arena,” I scoffed.

Frank c****d his eyebrow at me.

“Outside of the arena?” he quizzed.

I paused when a memory popped into my head, then shook my head. f**k, I refused to relive that day ever again. I glanced up, and Frank was waiting for an answer.

I shook my head again.

“Nothing,” I lied.

He gave me a look of disbelief. Hell, I didn’t believe me either. We sat there for a few minutes, not saying another word.

“Let’s move to the arena. I hope it will go away there,” I said and stood.

“Alright,” Frank said, and we headed for the door.

The ride to the arena was silent. Neither of us said a word. I stared out the window, trying to rid myself of the memory of that dream. I got lost in thought, not realizing that Frank had parked the truck.

“Jessie, we’re here,” he said after giving me a nudge.

I hopped out, not saying a word, and grabbed my bag. We walked in silence again until we made it into the arena.

“I’m gonna check if they have the draws posted yet,” Frank said as he exited the locker room.

I nodded and made my way to the dressing room. My bag dropped to the ground with a thud, and I took a seat on one chair there. I didn’t need to dress now. Bull riding was last, so I had plenty of time. Fifteen minutes later, Frank walked in with a grim expression.

I looked up at him.

“Were they posted?” I asked.

He gave me a frown.

“You drew Midnight Thunder,” Frank replied.

I guess I have my answer to what that dream meant.