Not on Fire (Phan AU)

a new perspective

Dan hasn't been late to school in a while, so he decides to sleep in today for a few extra minutes--which naturally turns into him waking up with ten minutes to get up, get dressed, and get to school. Something that isn't going to happen anytime soon. He's almost surprised that his mom didn't barge in earlier, demanding that his ass get up in much nicer terms, but that must be one of the perks of having her trust back because she doesn't come in until he's been in bed for five minutes, completely awake and just struggling to find the motivation to get up.

There's a knock on the door that shakes him out of his thoughts before his mom comes in, without waiting for a reply in a typical mom fashion.

"If you don't get up in five seconds, I'm coming up here with a bucket of cold water," she threatens, staring at him with a face that says she's serious. Of course, this is a threat she's used multiple times before and never once has he actually had her follow through. Then again, he's always gotten up before the time was over.

"Like you could carry a bucket filled with water," he says while climbing out of bed and stretching. "Why didn't you come in to wake me up earlier?"

"Because you're going to be eighteen before you know it and I thought it was time I started treating you like an adult. Or do you want to have to tell all of your friends that you can't go to college in the fall because your mom still has to wake you up?"

"By friends do you mean Louise and Phil because I honestly don't think they'd really care either way."

"Just get dressed," she says, leaving and closing the door behind her. He swears he hears her say, "He's hopeless," as she walks further and further away.

Normally, he wouldn't be in such a rush, but he's not the only one who has somewhere to be. His mom probably doesn't want to waste her whole morning trying to get him to go to school when she has a job of her own to get to among other stuff she has to do around the house. And he is trying to be more thoughtful after all. Which has him getting ready as quick as he can--allowing himself only five minutes before he's out the door. He'll still be late, but not as late as he would have originally been.

He slips on his shoes and practically runs out the door, relieved to find his mom in her car with the engine already started.

He gets in and shuts the door, putting on his seatbelt.

"So now that you're trusting me and everything, does that mean you'll get me a car so I can take myself to school?" he asks hopefully, locking eyes with her in the rearview mirror.

"Stop trying to spoil your graduation present and shut up," his mom says, sounding somewhat joking, but--wishful thinking and such--he hopes that it's in a playful oops-I've-just-revealed-a-big-secret kind of way. If that's even a thing.

The ride to school is quiet, but not in a bad way. There's no tension in the air, and it doesn't seem like his mom's really all that mad at him for waking up so late. She did tease him, which is a good sign. Everything seems to be going right--perfect, even. Too perfect.

It's at this point that he starts to wonder when the storms going to come. But he really needs to stop thinking like that if he wants to still be sane by the time he graduates high school. Well, that's assuming he's sane right now which is highly debatable, but he digresses.

He tells his mom that he loves her before getting out of the car and hears her respond as he shuts the door.

Carol looks at him with wide eyes when he walks into the office, ten minutes late for school and smiling like it's anything but what it is.

"Did you miss me that much that you had to go and be late again?" she asks, shaking her head in mock disapproval. "And here I was, thinking that you had forgotten about me."

"I could never forget about you," he says, laughing.

"Just take your pass and get to class." And he does without lingering like he would have. He's surprised himself.

He takes a seat next to Phil silently after handing in his pass to the teacher--which shockingly had his tardy marked off as an excuse, probably some sort of gift from the secretary for going so long without having to need a pass in the first place.

"Where were you?" Phil whispers.

"Slept in a bit late."

"Oh."

"Yeah, but Car--the secretary was nice enough to mark me as excused anyway," Dan says, trying to keep his eyes on the board, where the teacher is writing down the assignment for the day.

They're cut off by Mrs. Kintigh clearing her throat and turning to face the class. "We're going to be starting our final novel for the class, but before we do, I want you to fill out a pre-quiz to see what you already know about it. You may work with one person, but only if you keep your voices down. Once all the quizzes are in, I'll explain more about the book we're going to read." As she talks, she begins walking around the room, passing out the supposed quizzes which look to be at least two pages in length.

When she finally places it on Dan's desk, his suspicions are confirmed.

"So much for a pre quiz. This is three pages," Dan says once Mrs. Kintigh has passed so she won't hear. "No wonder why she's letting us work with partners or we'd never finish it in time."

"It's a pre quiz. It's not like you have to actually think about your answers."

"What have you done with the Phil I know, because I'm pretty sure he cares too much about school to say f**k it on a quiz and just circle random letters."

"What can I say. You're a bad influence." Dan shoves him lightly at that, but smiles nonetheless. It's kind of hard not to when Phil's so happy all the time. It used to annoy Dan--probably still will at times--but he'd be lying if he said it hadn't grown on him. Dan might be a bad influence for Phil, but Phil's a great influence for Dan and he probably doesn't even realize it.

"Let's just finish this before Kintigh gets mad."

They actually do try at first, reading each of the questions carefully and thinking over their answer, but not even halfway through, it occurs to them that Phil was right--this really is just a pre quiz after all--so they circle randomly. Which allows them to finish something that could have taken an hour in a few minutes.

It's easy working with Phil. He makes it fun even when it is a quiz or a test or whatever you want to call it. There's just something about him that makes Dan feel a little lighter. Is this what having a best friend feels like? Dan's always considered Louise a best friend, but lately, he's realized that they never really acted like friends or even talked like friends, so he wouldn't know. It's all so new that he almost wants to freak out--do what he does best and go smoke a cigarette or light a fire--but one look at Phil and he knows he needs to calm down for now.

"You do know I was just kidding when I said you were a bad influence, right?" Phil says, breaking the silence that had formed for a short time after they finished. "I'm really glad you're my friend."

Dan's never been good at handling serious situations, and he doesn't think Phil's going to be able to change that part of him any time soon. So he panics when Phil says that he's glad they're friends, struggling to think of a response that won't sound cheesy or mushy or lovey or any of that crap that he avoids like the plague most days.

Dan shakes his head slightly. "I thought you didn't like cheese."

"Shut up!" This time it's Phil who shoves Dan. "I just--I know you don't really befriend many people, and I'm glad you gave me a chance."

"It was Louise who forced me to do it in the first place, so you should be thanking her."

"Hasn't your mom or dad told you that no one can force you to do anything unless they're holding a gun to your head?"

"Who's to say Louise didn't hold a gun to my head?"

"We should probably turn this in," Phil says, motioning to the quiz, a silly smile on his face. One that doesn't look as ridiculous on him as it would on Dan.

"You're probably right."

***

The rest of the day before lunch flies by in a blur, and before he knows it, Dan's sitting down at a table with Louise and Phil--no PJ or Chris because they're working on PJ's newest short film that he still won't tell anybody what it's about.

"So I see you too are very close now," Louise says, all smiles like she's proud of her handy work. Then the smile drops off her face, as if she's realized how pushy that can seem. "I don't know what I'll do now that I'm not the only friend in Dan's life."

"Oh, shut up!" Dan says, throwing a fry at her. "You've been dying to get rid of me for ages now. Haven't you?"

"You caught me. I know it wasn't fair using Phil like that, but you're just too much to handle."

He knows it's a joke--knows it like he knows the back of his hand, but that still doesn't stop the thoughts. Even though it definitely doesn't seem like it (and Dan's worked hard to make it that way) he doesn't want to be alone. He was content with one friend because one friend still meant that he wouldn't have to be lonely. And he knows how much work he can be. Louise has made that very clear in the past without saying it. What if she did want to get rid of him? Not completely, but get rid of him in the sense that she won't have to deal with him as much because he has somebody else to bother.

Thinking like this is destructive, but then again, everything about Dan is destructive it seems.

It's been a little too long, and Louise is starting to look at him weirdly. He can't even bring himself to look at Phil in the fear that he will be, too.

"Touché," he responds, saying the first thing that came to mind. He has to stop himself from shaking his head in order to get rid of the thoughts, which leads to him tapping his fingers on the table to focus his mind elsewhere. "And here I was thinking that I was the one getting rid of you. Sorry, Phil, but it looks like we both used you after all."

"Well, you kind of did," Phil says, surprising Dan. It wasn't that he didn't expect him to respond. He did. It's just that he doesn't sound playful. Instead, he sounds oddly serious.

"What do you mean?" Louise asks, looking at him with eyes wide in confusion. Phil must have never told her that he knew what she was up to.

"You used me to make it so Dan would have a friend, and Dan used me to please you. I know you guys didn't mean it, but it doesn't feel all that great, you know? And I kept thinking that she's going to say sorry. I've already talked to Dan about this, but I hoped that I wouldn't have to talk to you, too."

"I didn't even realize. I'm so sorry," Louise says and something about her voice just sounds sincere. "I was so busy looking out for Dan that I didn't even look out for you."

"It's okay. I forgave you forever ago." Phil smiles--well, that's nothing new. He's always smiling, but this time, it's with teeth showing and it just feels so much more alive because of it.

The rest of lunch is much more lighthearted, with them quickly moving past the short serious moment. And for once, Dan feels like there is more to high school than just waiting for it to be over.

But that doesn't make it any less suffocating. The one thing that's able to fully distract him from everything going on in his life and clear him of his stress he can't do because it's too risky--with Phil's dad being a cop and really wanting to crack down on who the arsonist is. Life was so much easier before Phil came into his life, but he's not sure if he would go back anyway.