19
Why am I so nervous?
Gretchen’s trunk is packed with our first-ever order of paperback books, Sharpies, the swag and promotional items she ordered, the book-cover poster, and some ginormous cookies she picked up at Costco. Her nails and hair and outfit are perfect, and she is calm and unruffled while I run around the apartment, making sure we haven’t forgotten anything and hiding any exposed cords so that Quack doesn’t electrocute herself again.
“Jayne, everything will be fine,” Gretchen says, blotting her lipstick in the hall mirror. “They’re going to love us.”
“What if they don’t?”
She turns and showcases her immaculate self. “Darling, your words have never had a truer, more devoted fan than the one standing before you. I promise to do you justice.”
“Right. Okay.”
“Also, the ca
