The Guy With The Diary

Chapter 10

NIKLAS

It's funny how any of us stay sane. Come on. Think about it. We rise every day—many times, on the same side of our beds— only to do literally the same thing. It was almost as though some old grandpa was tapping a repeat button in all of our lives. It was as funny as it was sad if you gave it a thought.

But I wasn't always like this. At least not in the last two years or so. I, somehow, have learnt how to wake up and act like I have no problem.

“You up?” Phil asked, opening my door halfway. “Did you get any rest at all?”

“Yeah, keep acting as though we need it.”

Cole had spent less than a day here with me. Even in this short period, he already knew something was ‘off’ about Phil. I mean, it wasn't that hard to see. The guy was gloomy all the time.

Making breakfast, while sitting staring at him, he asked, “So what do you do around here?”

“Besides schooling, uhm, not much,” I answered, surprised at how shocked Cole was.

“Don’t tell me you don't have friends here.”

“Okay. I won't tell you.”

Stopping stirring the mixture he had in a bowl, Cole said, “This is not healthy

. You never listen, now, do you?”

“And you never think, do you? You really think I want to stay alone… that I choose this life?”

Cole stared blankly at me, shrugging before saying nearly every word. “Do you really want me to be honest with you? Because I can.”

“Hit me.”

“Nik, I think you're making excuses for yourself. It's what you've always done.”

I nodded my head, feigning a serious look. “I see, o wise one. Now tell me why I would want to be sad.”

“So that you can prove to yourself why being a vampire is horrible. As I said, it's what you've always done.”

“I don't need to prove anything. We know it's a curse. None of us will pass on a chance to be human.”

The little colour on his face drained, leaving a pasty parlour behind, and his eyes protruded from their sockets in utter astonishment. “Are you for real? You really think being immortal is that bad?”

“When you say it like that I sound crazy, don't I?”

Cole's eyes shone at me as he spoke. “You‘re the guy that stays away from everyone because you think you'll kill them even though you know, for a bloody fact, that it will never happen. You always sound crazy and it has nothing with you being a vampire.”

“It will never happen? You sound like the crazy one now.”

“Well, has it ever happened, Nik? You ever hurt anyone? No, right? So why keep hurting yourself over nothing?”

“Who says I'm hurting myself? You? The same guy that does nothing with his life!”

“You’re the one talking about not living like humans, yet you're addressing me not taking my life seriously.” He came to me and faced me directly. “We are immortals. You remember this, don't you?”

Waving my hands at him to get back because I just wasn't up for this, no matter how genuine his concerns were. “You‘re happy you started this fight, aren't you? This isn't what we should be doing. We just lost Dad.”

Cole kept quiet for a while before speaking. “I know, but you're living your life like a weird as$ fellow and it's beyond sad. Not to mention that it's all over nothing.”

“It's not over nothi…” I drew my words back because I didn't want to continue this argument. “On to better things, where do you plan to go next?”

“Want to get rid of me already?”

Chuckling, I said, “Who wouldn't?”

“I don't know where I'll be going next, but I'll figure it out soon.”

Phil came out and somehow he and Cole started talking. While it was unusual to see Phil talk so much, I wasn't in the least surprised. It was Cole— the dude can make a log of wood chat with him.

“So who's she?” Cole asked Phil, who seemed nearly as clueless as I was about the question.

Phil's eyebrows were raised so high that they closed half the space between them and his hairline. “What are you talking about?”

Cole threw a smirk at him. “Come on. Well, you laugh when a message pop up and your heart is beating really fast.”

Slightly embarrassed, Phil muttered, “We are not serious or anything.“

While all this happened, I just stared in silence. Even as Cole got Phil talking about some chick named Maggy whom Phil “kind of fancies”. Seeing them speak and laugh made me start giving what Cole had earlier told me some thought. Maybe I was doing way too much. Maybe I didn't have to stay away from everyone. Maybe I could consider getting into a relationship with a human. Maybe. Just maybe.

After having breakfast, I had my bath and put on only a pair of underpants. I went to the garden to jot my thoughts in my diary. Usually, my thoughts easily found their way into my diary. It was something I did on a daily. Well, today with everything on my mind, it proved quite difficult.

If Cole was right, that meant it was fine to go talk to that girl I saw the other day. But wait, she has a boyfriend. Damn. Whatever. There were many girls I could approach and this was something major for me. I mean, I've been off the market long before I got on the market. If that made any sense.

“My goodness,” I muttered to myself. “What the hell.”

It was getting tired at this point. It was that girl again. Yeah, the one I had just been thinking about. She stared at me as I sat, her eyes seeming as though looking at something beyond me. She didn't know I knew she was staring at me. She was looking at me, though from a distance, it was a little unusual. Especially since she wasn’t supposed to be here at all.

I pretended to write into the diary— yeah, I know, it's all happening again.

As vampires, our auditory sense was overwhelmingly heightened in comparison to humans. And that's why I was surprised when I heard her say “Jeez, look at that butt.”

Did she just thirst after my butt? Can't say why, but I was living for this.

Just as she said that Cole pulled up behind her and they started chatting, my butt, being the major theme of their discussion. It was the most hilarious thing ever. It took all of my being to stop myself from cracking up.

“You know what? I will talk to this girl,” said I, in whispers to myself. “I think I like her and if I'm going to take Cole's advice, what better time than now?”

She left Cole and approached me, her eyes down to the ground. “Jason, some guy you signed your name… you know him, right? Yeah, he wants to remind you to attend the meetings and appreciates you for joining, you know. He'll call you… no… sorry, I mean, you call him. His contact is on the pamphlet he gave you the other day.”

First off, I felt like congratulating her for saying all that so fast. She literally said everything in three quick breaths. Also, after she spoke she ran off. Yeah, it was awkward, even for me. Now when I say she ran off, I don't mean an it's-about-to-rain kind of run. It was more of an I'm-about-to-be-killed one.

“That went in a direction I didn't foresee,” stated Cole, sitting beside me. “ She's fire by the way.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“And she's totally into you. You both should find time to hang out.”

Squinting my eyes at him, “I can only wonder why, Cole. We're not friends or anything of the sort.”

“More reason you should hang out with her.”

“You just say anything, don't you, Cole?” I turned away from him and mimicked what he said, but using a funny voice. “ ‘She’s totally into you’”

Cole shrugged. “She is though.”

“She’s not; you're just crazy.”

“If crazy denotes honest, then yes. I am crazy.”

“Did she ever tell you she was into me?”

“Oh, you do have a point.” Cole tapped his index finger on his lower lip as though he remembered something. “She didn't tell me she liked you; she was too busy discussing your butt.”

“Shut up!”

“I know you heard it all, Nik.“

Cole, Phil and I headed out to the club that night. Yes, I protested against it for the obvious reason: too many people. But Cole, being Cole, dragged my a$s with him.

You know what? We did have a good time. A really good time.

I found myself thinking about this girl more often than I would like. Did she like me? I doubted it. She had a boyfriend, I was sure. That still didn't take her off my mind.

Damn! I didn't even know her name. If only I hadn't acted an asshole, I would have known that night I gave her a ride.

With every sip of vodka I took, the very few memories of this girl grew stronger in my mind.