HALUCCINATED LOVE

Love doesn't matter about the age. When you feel it, you can't stop it, kahit na ano pa man ang edad mo. I have this childhood bestfriend, named Susy. She was so pretty, and I really love seeing her smiles. We're just 8 when I've felt that I have a crush on her. I know na sobrang bata ko pa sa ganyang pakiramdam, but I don't know how to stop myself, admiring her. "Susy, it hurts right here." pagrereklamo ko sabay turo sa puso ko. At kita ko naman ang pag-aalala sa mukha nya. "What happened? Ayos ka lang ba?" marahan niyang hinaplos-haplos ang dibdib ko, nang hawakan ko ang kamay niya. "Just stay here, my medicine." she stares at me, hanggang sa nagkatitigan kami. "Are you fine?" alalang-alala niyang tanong. But I just laughed. "Why are you laughing?" confusedly she asked. "I have something to whisper, come near." at kaagad naman siyang sumunod. I kissed her cheeks and whispers. "Its a prank, my princess." Nagulat naman ako nang bigla niya akong hinampas. "Di nakakatuwa." mabilis naman siyang tumayo at naglakad papalayo sa'kin, but I remain laughing. "three points!" I've said in my mind and genuinely smiled. We're now here at the park, na kaming dalawa lang. At pansamantala kong sinusundan siya pero di nya ako nililingon sa tuwing tinatawag ko siya. "Susy, di mo na ako lab?" I pouted. "Sorry na nga eh, joke lang naman eh. Gusto mo bang magka---" di ko na natuloy ang sasabihin ko nang magsalita siya. She stopped walking and suddenly look at me. "Di nakakatuwa, Lucas!" she exclaimed and madness was on her face at maya-maya pa ay tumulo na ang mga luha nito. "Oh, oh I'm sorry." I hugged her and caressed her back to make her calm. "I'm sorry, Susy. Please stop crying." wrong timing na prank, tangina. We're 14 years old already, and we're same school, same section and seatmates also. Kaya siyempre ay gustong-gusto ko ang senaryong 'yon. Months has passed and it was her 15th birthday, when I've confessed my feelings for her. I was so nervous that moments, but it never stops me. Full of courage I utter the words of my love for her. And I was so shocked nang sabihin niya ring, mahal nya ako. We both said it to our parents at di naman sila tutol kasi di na rin naman raw sila magtataka. Pero we have agreed na hanggang M.U lang muna or mutual understanding, until our legal age, comes after, right time. Mas lalo pang naki-ayon ang tadhana, nang ikinasal ang tito ni Susy sa tita ko. At sakto namang nasa States si mama at papa that time. Kaya don ako naiwan sa tita ko sa bahay ng tito ni Susy na kung saan rin sya naka-stay. We're already on the same house, kaya mas nakakapag-bonding kami. We're always together, sa ano mang gala at pagpunta ng school. We've become, even closer. But, something has changed nang dumating ang pinsan ko na anak ng tita ko sa una niyang asawa. They became close also, and it hurts me so much, kapag nakikita ko silang masaya na kahit wala ako. "Lucas, sali ka sa'min ni Noah. Ang saya oh." pagyayaya niya habang naglalaro sila ng video games. But I refused, and told her that I'm busy. "Are you mad?" she asked. But I just walked continuesly but before I step up on the stairs, I've heard Noah na niyaya niya si Susy na manuod ng sine. And Susy, suddenly agreed. I just calm my fist at nagpatuloy nang umakyat. It was 2pm in the afternoon nang puntahan ko si Susy sa kwarto niya, para yayain sana magbasketball, the thing that we usually do before. But when I've open the door ay tulog ito. I slowly sit down on her bed and caressed her hair. Nang maya-maya pa ay magising siya and she suddenly stared at me. "May problema ba, Lucas?" she asked in her soft tone. "Nothing, I just missed you." I smiled bitterly and suddenly stood up para sana umalis na. Pero nilingon ko ulit siya. "Do you still love me, Susy?" but I've got no answer. "I'm asking." I added. But she just looked at me. "I like you, Lucas." she answered. W-What? haha. Like? "I thought you love me." I exclaimed. "But it was just a puppy love, Lucas. We're just 15 that time. We both don't know, what's real love. Like is different with love." para akong natiwalang sa sinabi niya. Siguro nga tama siya, I just misunderstood. "Noah is courting me." she uttered that stucked in my mind after I heard that. "Do you love him?" I asked, and it hurts me when she nodded. "Since we're kids, I already admired Noah. But, we're just kids that time, that's why I've stopped. Until he migrated, away from me. At ngayong bumalik siya, sigurado na akong mahal ko siya, Lucas. I'm sorry." "All those years, Susy. I've been waiting for you to love me, simula bata pa lang tayo alam ko nang ikaw ang gusto ko." I bit my lower lip and smiled bitterly. "But, But I thought we've felt the same." I faked a laugh. "Noong sinabi mong, gusto mo rin ako? I'm so happy. I can't explain how happy am I, that moments. Kasi akala ko 'yon na eh. That's why I've waited. I've waited for you." "I'm s-sorry, Lucas." she apologised. "No it's okay." I smiled. "Tomorrow was your 18th birthday. Pwede na magkaroon ng kayo ni Noah. Akala ko ako na eh. Epal naman ni Noah oh." I laughed. I've kissed her forehead at marahan nang tumalikod. "Maybe I'm just haluccinating that you love me too, Sy." I've uttered before I left her room. Her 18th birthday comes, and after a couple of month, Noah and her? they became official. I've called my parents to let me stay with them on States at kaagaran naman nila akong kinuhanan ng ticket. There is no reason for me to stay, already. Dahil 'yong taong rason ko ay hawak na ng iba. And all of those feelings of her, it was just haluccinated and I only waited for nothing.