Prologue
Lily
“Everything that I do, every single f*****g thing, no matter how good or bad they are…everything I did is for you. For your sake. For your safety. For your attention. I was waiting for you to come to your sense that you finally understand that what I did back there was for you.” Was he freaking serious? He protected me by hurting me? The nerves.
“No, you’re not, Zack. If you care, you won’t hurt me. What you did back there was the most stupid and cowardly thing to do. You were just a boy who was afraid to admit that you can care for someone. You let your ego take over you by breaking me apart. My gut was right all the time but I stupidly didn’t listen. You never treasured me. You never protected me. You were protecting yourself, Miller.”
“No, baby. You don’t understand now. I was indeed—”
“I understand, Zack. Maybe at time, I haven’t. Now I am. I understand at that moment, when you said those horrible things to your friends – your cruel words, saying how sucks I was in the bedroom department, how you wanted to compare me with Kylie, those have proved everything. You. Never. Loved. Me,” I emphasized the last four words dramatically, especially the loved part. The worst thing was, my eyes were on fire and I was so ready to cry. Because I never said this to him before. The emotion that had been building up inside of me was so ready to burst. Even though I would show him my shameful sight. Maybe he should see. Let him see the cause of his action. The woman he had ruined. On how some part of her soul had disappeared.
“Lily, you don’t understand. Sometimes it’s impossible to not hurt someone in order to protect the people we love. I know you’ve been there. How those students treated you like dirt while they were comparing you with your sister. I know you care about Kylie, but I can see you as bright as daylight that you…envy her too.”
“How dare you…” I gritted. He didn't have any right to say that to me. Even when he was right.
“Oh, I dare, sugar baby. Because that’s what I did to you before. It’s not like I wanted to do it, but I had to. Sometimes, you have to so those people you care about won’t be hurt anymore.” His words made me remember Matt. I hurt him so he would stop hoping for me. I sacrificed our friendship so Matt wouldn’t get hurt.
But this was different.
Matt knew exactly the problem between Zack and me. He tried to save me but I didn’t let him. I didn’t want him to get his hopes high because I couldn’t get rid of Zack away from my mind. Doesn’t that mean you’re just the same as him, Lily? Oh, f**k no!
No, I was different. Unlike Zack, I told Matt I couldn’t do this anymore. Not behind my back.
“You’re wrong,” I mumbled.
“No, I’m not.”
“Don’t call me that ever again! I’m not your sugar baby! Just stay away from me, jerk!” I screamed, uncaring the fact we were in the restaurant as I slapped the napkin dramatically on the table and stood up. Immediately abandoning him and walking out of the restaurant. I knew he was on my tail. Just by how my spine was spiking. Damn it, Lily!
“Lily!” I had to get away from him. I refused to be with him. Every ugly part that I had wanted to come out when he was around. “Lily, wait!” I looked back at my shoulder. Seeing his six-foot-two tall body was chasing me. Jesus, he looked like a bear now! Or the Alpha from those werewolf novels.
I increased my speed until I was out of the restaurant. It didn’t take long until he mounted me from the pavement and pulled me. “Let go of me, asshole!” I bellowed while struggling. I looked around but nobody was daring enough to help me. Even from afar, they were intimidated by Zack’s presence. I couldn’t even win his strength. “I said, let go!” He finally did when I realized we were in the alley. s**t, what did he want to do here?
I quickly made some distance from this crazy man. But with him standing at the exit, it was useless. He didn’t allow a single escape for me. He looked like a hunter just caught his prey. As I saw him standing there with the moon displayed behind him – a full moon – he looked…stunning. His blue-green eyes were glowing. I was hypnotized by those eyes. So beautiful like those wolves in the movies. I could imagine him turning into a big grey wolf with beautiful blue-green eyes. Those eyes were looking at me intensely. Screaming at me that I couldn’t run away. Dominating me with his aura.
I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t control my body. Almost like my body had shut down. My brain had disintegrated.
I was the hunted one. Zack was the hunter. And I was willing to be captured by him.
“Please, just leave me alone,” I begged. This was so pathetic. I’d never done this to him and I refused to do it with him – especially him. This man had destroyed my life. Cracked my heart. Made me internally bleed. Made me feel like I was the useless being in the entire world. Humiliated in the worst way possible.
And his shoes came forward. I was on an auto-pilot as I immediately took a step back. Zack hadn’t said anything. “Say something, will you? What’s the matter with you?” I pleaded without any answer. Was he playing with me? Just like what he did five years ago? Hell to the no, Mister.
I might not make it but trying wouldn’t hurt. I tried to sidestep him but he caught my arms and pushed me to the wall, effectively trapping me. And I just lost my escape opening. Nice work, Lily.
He surprised me when he brought his hand up to my face, slowly rubbing my cheek until my collarbone. His touches instantly brought back the memories. On how tender his big hands were. On how gentle his fingers were when he touched me. He touched me like I was something fragile and he was scared to break me. Yet he did. “What are you doing, Zack?” I asked but he just smirked.
“You want to run away again, right? Just like what you love to do,” he asked while at the same time mocking me. He already knew what the answer would be. He always knew. What was the other reason I always ran from him? There was no way he would forget. The scar he put in me.
So, I did like what he did to me a few seconds ago.
I didn’t answer him.
I refused to answer him.
“You won’t answer me now?” Again, no response from my mouth. An eye for an eye, Mr. Miller. This was what you get for messing around with me. I was not the same stupid girl he had fooled with. I won’t be blinded by his fake kindness to me again. “You’ve got guts, woman. However, I won’t let you escape again. Because…” Without any warning, he pressed his lips into mine. Kissing me so hard, catapulting me to our first kiss that night after the prom. I should have pushed him away but weirdly, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. My body was responding to him. My body accepted him.
This was so not funny! How the f**k was that possible?
His next words caused goosebumps through my entire body and I just stupidly let myself feel him. Allowing myself to be betrayed by my own body.
“There’s no escape from our connection, sugar baby.”
