The Man She Was Never Supposed To Love

Sarah's POV Since I was a young teenager, there had only ever been one man who could make my heart betray every sensible thought in my head. Tyler Anderson. My father's best friend. The man I was never supposed to look at the way I did. For years, I had buried my feelings so deeply that I convinced myself they would eventually disappear. Surely time would cure me. Surely growing older would make me realize that what I felt was nothing more than a foolish teenage obsession. I was wrong. The feelings didn't fade. They grew. Every family gathering became an exercise in self-control. I would walk into a room determined not to notice him, only to feel my entire body tense the moment I heard his familiar voice. One smile from him could unravel months of pretending. One lingering glance could leave me wondering whether he had noticed the way I looked at him. And then there were the little things. The way his voice softened whenever he spoke directly to me. The protective hand he occasionally placed on my shoulder. The quiet concern in his eyes whenever he thought something was wrong. None of it should have meant anything. But to me, it meant everything. I hated myself for noticing every little detail. I hated the way my heart raced whenever he came near. Most of all, I hated the tiny, dangerous part of me that wondered whether he felt something too. Because Tyler wasn't some stranger I could simply avoid. He was woven into my family's life. He had known my father for decades. He had been there for birthdays, holidays, celebrations, and countless family dinners. He belonged in our lives in a way that made my feelings even more forbidden. I had tried dating guys my own age throughout high school. I tried convincing myself that someone else could occupy the space Tyler had somehow claimed inside my heart. No one ever came close. Then came the dreams. Beautiful, impossible dreams where there were no rules, no family ties, no reasons why we couldn't be together. Dreams where Tyler looked at me differently. Dreams I always woke from with my heart pounding and the bitter realization that reality was waiting for me. He was my father's oldest and closest friend. He was older than me by 25 years. He was completely off-limits. I knew all of that. I knew I shouldn't want him. I knew I shouldn't dream about him. And I certainly knew I shouldn't hope for something that could destroy the trust between two men who had been best friends for most of their lives. But knowing something was forbidden didn't make my heart stop wanting it. If anything, it made the desire more dangerous. And after years of keeping my secret buried, I had finally convinced myself that I could live with it. Now that I'm a young adult in college, I tried focusing my attention on other things that were more important than Tyler. I had spent my freshman and sophomore years in college burying myself beneath textbooks, assignments, and endless nights of studying. I convinced myself that if I kept my mind busy enough, there would be no room left for thoughts of Tyler. Now that I was a junior, I pushed myself harder than ever. I studied until my eyes burned and my body ached from exhaustion. I filled every spare moment with something productive, desperately trying to outrun the feelings I had carried for him for so long. I told myself that eventually, if I worked hard enough, the ache in my heart would fade. But it never did. The moment I closed my books and allowed myself to breathe, Tyler was there. His smile. His voice. The warmth in his eyes whenever he looked at me. Every memory of him came rushing back, no matter how hard I tried to push it away. And at home wasn't any easier. If anything, it was worse. Tyler still came around often, which meant I couldn't simply escape him. Every time I heard his voice from another room or caught a glimpse of him walking through the house, my heart betrayed me. It would race before my mind could remind me that I shouldn't feel this way. I had tried everything. I tried keeping busy. I tried avoiding him. I tried convincing myself that what I felt was nothing more than a foolish crush that would eventually disappear. But I was only lying to myself. No matter how many books I read, how many hours I studied, or how desperately I tried to bury my feelings, they remained. Stronger. Deeper. Impossible to ignore. The truth was the one thing I had been terrified to admit, even to myself. I was deeply in love with Tyler. Not a passing infatuation. Not some childish fantasy. I loved him with a depth that frightened me. And no matter how hard I tried to run from it, my heart had already chosen him.