Diary of a Son. {MYSTERIES}

Dear Diary; #3journey

I wonder what I must say about this journey, it is a strange and mind-blowing journey, in that I didn't get all I expect the way I expected them. Many times it's been great, sometimes pretty annoying, other times just agitating and worrisome, some days just break me and cause me pain. My Dad wasn't kidding when He told me it wasn't going to be easy, He knew I had to face all these to be stronger and better for even diamond d has to pass through fire in other to become the precious beautiful stone every one loves and desires. I thank you Dad that you've been with me all through the storm, and gave me the strength to persevere and hold on. Lo, I have become unimaginably strong beyond my mind could ever phathom, I no longer feel broken by the betrayals that follow me on this journey, neither does my heart hurt at the constant pain it feels each time it is pierced by family and loved ones. The one whom I should love has become my very own tutor in hatred and vengeance. No, for I refuse to be vengeful, and I refuse to instruct my heart in the art of hatred. Though that has been all I've known, I would instead choose to spread love and togetherness in oneness. Could the enemy have kept her in b*****e? I believe it has because this hate is beyond my mind's comprehension. I never expected the one I should love to be the major source of my pain, my troubles, my shame, and even a cause for anger. Why so unforgiving? Even the lost son came home and was welcomed by his father. I also was found, forgiven and restored by my Father, who is no mortal but eternal and ruler of the Heavens and the earth, how much more her whom I should love? Is she too great and mighty to comprehend what forgiveness is all about? or she has been shut out by the enemy to reason and divinity? Whatever it is I will ride above it, for I know who I am and whose I am. Though I may still choose to love her, my heart will not be enamored in the beauty of her art of hatred and malice that breeds contempt and unforgiveness. She has robbed me of my rights, caused me to live in lack, sorrow, distress, pain, anguish and so much negativity I cannot even begin to describe. Let not your heart be troubled young blood for the one who leads you has given you an abundance of joy and peace, Thanksgiving in satisfaction, He takes care of all your needs, so you will never lack any good thing. Him I know, I do not know this person, her whom I should love, neither do I recognize who she's become, all because of greed and and an unsatisfiable l**t for pleasures that are fleeting and good for nothing. I wonder if she hopes to pay her way through the gates with all her deceitful gains, or build a lodging place beyond, with her spoils of mischief. She became so covetous, and all in the name of doing what is right. Why has it all turned out this way? Every thing I do is always the wrong thing with her, nothing I do seems to be right. That's fine, because I have only one judge, my Father the almighty, all others are just opinions, and these don't shape my life. I will rejoice and be exceedingly glad because He has vindicated me and declared my innocence. A pillar on which to lean on, became a staff of reed laced with thorns.

On the other hand are my family, the ones I was put together with on earth to thrive and soar together in love, peace and unity. I wonder what became of them. They made themselves my competitors, when we were made to be team mates. They became my robbers, they robbed me of all justice and right until nothing was left. They supported her whom I should love in an endless oppression and treated me like an outsider. Hmmmn, life could be so cruel at times, hurting you with smiles, and turning loved ones against you. It is the most painful and heart breaking, for how do you pay your loved ones back with evil?how can I bring my self to hurt family as they hurt me repeatedly? how can I bring myself to hurt any one at all regardless of whom they are? Caught in a familiar snare, can seem to crawl out of this pit of love, I hope to be better, act better, live better, and not end up like them. I hope to keep on loving myself enough to love them also, life is much easier when we love and care for each other. I have every cause to stay happy because I have a family that truly loves me, up there in my Dad's kingdom and I hope to see them soon when I complete my journey even though they've been with me every step of the way. Am eternally grateful for their companionship, it eased the hurt and soothe the pain of their betrayal and hatred. I have come a long way and refuse to stray from my path though this great storms sways me from side to side trying to shift me off course, His steadfast love guides me and His mercy keeps me on track, His grace gives me the will and strength to move on, for I know that at the end of this journey it'll all be battle songs to tell of my great victory. There is light at the end of the tunnel, the light directs my path so I always know which way to turn, my book of magical recipes teaches me and comforts me in my distress so I am not weighed down by this burden of love. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord who has been my help and my support.

My friends were no better, they were the swords in the hands of the enemy, the cut me on all sides, each time I turn my eyes from them. Countless times they stabbed me in the back, as soon as I turn to watch their backs, they jest and slander my name, when I sought out ways to make a name for us. The world has become so strange to me, I no longer recognize the world I live in, Before I was surrounded by people I called friends, ever ready to sing my praises, but now all I see is the face of the enemy, smiling with at me with the faces of my friends. What do I make of these things, loneliness has become my only companion, betrayal is now the norm of my story. It has become increasingly difficult to trust anyone, I always try to keep my guard with every one I come across, because all they have had to offer me has been their lies and a hidden knife. Well I count it all as nought, because always with me, trustworthy and reliable with a sincere smile and no intent to hurt is my best friend. I call Him Casper, you will know Him better as the Holy Spirit, He never leaves my side, He tells me the best jokes to lift my spirit He instructs me on justice, truth and equity, these He made my way of life, I have no reason to mistrust Him, because He has never given me a reason for any distrust. He's got my back, and doesn't need me to watch His back, I cannot thank Him enough, because everytime He gives me new reasons to. It doesn't matter how many times am betrayed or let down, He always picks me up and cleans me up. For every time I have needed a shoulder to lean on or cry on, His has always been the only one available, He has been good to me and I trust Him with my life.

Even strangers have not been left out, as they have also learnt to plunder me, call me names, even when they really do not know me. They have been quick job judge me, finding my faults in every matter, even when it doesn't concern them. These I can easily hurt, and cause great pain, because they share no blood ties with me, but is that really so? Are we not all just one big family? Does not the blood of the creator flow in all of us in the same way? It hurts me to see anyone in pains, how much more when it was caused by my hands? I am not one to cause another pain or sorrow, I would rather put a smile on your face and be a ladder to uplift my neighbor, regardless of family or blood ties. All man I regard as one, so whenever I think to hurt another, it occurs to me I am only indirectly hurting myself, because we are all made for each other. I know that this is all the plot of the enemy, to trip my feet just at the finish line, because I feel myself getting ever closer to my promised land that flows with milk and honey. At the end of it all its going to have it's own feet cut off and his head crushed, so I'll wait patiently for the time, when I to pour out all my anger on it, because after all it is my my greatest and only enemy. I do not fear it, because I know it is only a defeated fallen angel, seeking to destroy all that it can before it is it self destroyed by the good that must always over come evil, in this my heart is glad and rejoice exceedingly. I know that for every time I respond to its hatred with love, it gets a smash on its head, and every time I answer it's pain with comforting, it gets another smash on its head. For every time it's darts of sorrow is met with joy, it goes gets another smash on its head, and each time it's malice is met with a happy smile, it's cold heart is melted like ice. My greatest joy comes from its disappointment, my highest level of fulfilment is in its own highest level of disgrace in its foiled plans to be a stumbling block and a bars of iron to shut me out of my destiny.

Let the Heavens sing His praises, and the earth resound His mighty greatness, let the abyss cry the cries of His faithful judgements, because none may sow an olive with the hope of reaping a pomegranate. At the end of times all shall receive each according to their deeds, a just and trustworthy judgement, so let us all strive to attain to a favorable reward by making our paths straight and and garments white as snow without any blemish. With man this is impossible, but with the Almighty, all knowing, all capable God, all things are possible. To God be the glory, great things He has done, to Him be all the honor and glory for He does great things and it is marvelous in our sight. Who can contend with Him? and who can bring a case against Him? He does what so ever He pleases and all He does is good. He cries when His children cries and He laughs with their laughter, great and mighty God. I call on the Heavens and the earth and the deep abyss, the bearers of your throne, the angels and all constellations of the skies, all that You have created and all that is in it to bear witness that you are God alone and there is none worthy of worship but you, the greatest, most great. Glory to you at the break of dawn and at its end, in the beginning and at the end of this journey of mine. Selah.