My 1000-years love

Chapter18

In a thoughtful daze, I wandered around the ship, wondering why these problems had fallen on my poor head. At another time, I would have been flattered by such sudden popularity among the huge and incredibly cool space rangers. But not here and not now, not with such a crazy warden who throws everyone from the ship into open space. And yet. My psycho probably already knows everything: suppose he doesn’t read my thoughts, but he certainly reads Kalon’s. Which means that his fate is only a matter of time. Unconsciously, I found myself in the food block. Having eaten a small plate of pastries, thoughtfully placed by Troy, I gently informed him that Kalon was not his type and that he should look for another object of affection. Troy was even surprised that I had obtained this information. No one from the crew could ever pry into Kalon’s personal life. At the same time, Troy seemed resigned and accepting of the news, as if he had been secretly hoping for mutual feelings. Finishing the last culinary masterpiece of our Romeo, I firmly decided that I now needed to help Kalon and save him from the fate of my previous admirer.

At dinner, I poked at my food for a long time, stalling and muttering something unintelligible, but there was no escaping the expectant, piercing gaze of the archon.

“Spit it out already. Stop stalling.”

How gallant is my man, I thought. And then I caught myself: mine?

“Tell me, can someone else teach me to fly?”

“Did Kalon offend you?”

“No!” I hurried to deny it. Insults and rude remarks don’t count. They even brought some peace amidst the general bows and reverence.

“It’s just...”

Sganar lounged back in his chair, watching me expectantly.

“I think Kalon isn’t quite indifferent to me.”

“I know,” he drawled lazily.

Perfect, so I wasn’t wrong.

“And I don’t want this to turn into a problem.”

“And you?”

“What?”

“Are you also not indifferent?” And at that moment, I noticed him tense slightly in anticipation of my answer.

“No,” I answered simply, looking him in the eye.

“Then I see no problem. You are a beautiful woman and many of my subjects will like you. I’ll have to deal with it,” he concluded with a predatory grin.

“So should I continue the lessons with him?”

“Of course,” Sgannar smirked.

“And you won’t throw him into space?”

“Of course not. Unless he dares to touch you with s****l intent. In that case, as I’ve said before, I’ll cut him into pieces. But he won’t dare. Honor is above all for him.”

“And for Laor?”

“Laor was always the first in my team, not only in military matters but also with women. And yet, I hoped he would leave me with immunity,” the Emperor smiled bitterly, and I realized that he was not only worried about someone encroaching on his “honor” but also simply about losing a friend.

“How are your other lessons going? No one else is bothering you?”

“No.” I wouldn’t complain about Regev, who never misses a chance to punch me in the jaw with her non-feminine fist. Every time I ended up in the regenerator for a few minutes so as not to illuminate half the ship with my bruises. Once she even knocked out two of my teeth, so I had to ask T-GInArA to program the regenerator for their restoration.

“Not even Regev?” Sgannar teased, smirking suspiciously.

“Archon, if you already know everything, why ask? Regev doesn’t like me, but there will be no complaints. This is training, and it’s progressing, in my opinion. I’m fine with it.”

“You don’t know Regev well. She’s been telling the entire ship that you’re a resilient warrior and will make a worthy ally in battle. She even caused a scuffle on the forum: someone said they wouldn’t turn their back on you because you’re a Terran. In conclusion, she said she’d feel safe if you were the one standing behind her.”

Even a piece of my stew fell off the fork in bewilderment as I listened to Sgannar with my mouth open.

“I don’t understand. Why such sudden affection?”

“I told you. You’re bad at reading people.”

“More like aliens.”

“To you, we’re aliens. To us, you’re the alien. In the end, we all come from the same origins. Together, we call ourselves ‘people’.”

Something about recent events troubled me.

“There’s one thing I can’t understand. Tragaon, Regev, Kalon… All strong personalities with complex characters. And suddenly, they all like me. In different ways, of course. In thirty years on Earth, I never made such a large number of friends or even just good acquaintances as here in just a couple of weeks. Why is that?” And I stared questioningly at the archon. The lazy grin vanished from his face.

“Haag, you need to know one thing. For the first time in millennia, a weak spot has appeared in the armor of Emperor Raiuraath. And that’s you. I have enemies. And not just other empires with whom I haven’t yet managed to negotiate peace. On Tauanire itself, among the Allianz, dissatisfied with the fact that only Raaths traditionally become emperors, and among the Raaths themselves, there are clans who consider me too weak a ruler. Precisely because I prefer negotiations and bargains to brute force.”

“I wouldn’t say you shun brute force,” I put in a few words, which he successfully ignored.

“And now I will appear even weaker in their eyes when an earthly woman sits on the throne beside me. You need to know, although it’s not my opinion, but... What Regev shouted about your Earth origin, unfortunately, won’t be the only episode of discontent. Many Raaths consider Earthlings a primitive race, and it’s quite possible they will talk to you with contempt, which they will clumsily mask out of fear of me.”

“See how much trouble I cause? Send me back,” I hissed comically.

“I’m not even going to discuss this anymore. We’ve already reached the maximum compromise I was capable of,” he shook his head wearily. “You have no idea how many important negotiations, conflicts with sects requiring my immediate intervention I’m missing due to our unplanned relocations.”

“None of this would have happened if you had been a bit more foresighted, emperor, and negotiated everything with me while still on Earth.”

He was silent for a long time. And I caught myself thinking that I was starting to fall in love with that brooding, world-weary look of his. And that I wanted to approach and hug his head, hold his face in my hands, and whisper that everything would be okay. Soft-hearted fool.

“You’re right. Power sometimes blinds the mind. And you don’t always realize when you’re approaching the edge where your omnipotence will no longer go unpunished.”

“So,” I began with anticipation, “you want to say that you were wrong?”

“The only thing I was wrong about was not spending an extra half hour on Earth, which I still had, trying to make it to the closing wormhole and finding out a little more about you. I would have taken your family right away and that would be the end of it.” He slapped the table slightly. It seemed this conversation was beginning to bore him. Excellent. Let’s torment him a bit more.

“And if I still had a husband, which I also forgot to mention in my fantasies? What if I loved him?”

“Loved and fantasized about another?”

“Well, you know, it happens when you live for a long time. Passion subsides a little, and fantasies reignite it.”

“With me, your passion will never subside,” Sganar threw angrily. How I love to annoy him. Such a petty revenge for his nasty omnipotence. “Shall I continue?”

I nodded.

“You need to understand that on Tauanire you’ll need a circle of people who will be completely devoted to you. And it’s very good that you’re already gathering them. My protection alone will not be enough. I could be away or… It doesn’t matter. In different senses, but they are all devoted to you and will do everything for your safety.”

I was once again shocked but now from realizing the grandeur of Sgannar’s manipulations.

“So you… So they… It’s all not real? You suggested it to them? You brought me together with Tragaon? Played on some strings of Regev and Kalon? Their sympathies are just your suggestion? How could you!!! And I thought…” As usual, in moments of emotional outbursts, I lost the thread of the conversation. And only later, like a teenager, replaying it in my head, I would think about what I should have said. Sgannar jumped up and moved towards me.

“Don’t you dare! Tell me, what else isn’t real? Your feelings too, right?”

Sgannar grabbed my hands, clenched into fists, and gently pulled them back.

“Calm down right now, little earth fury. Their feelings are real. I could have. But I didn’t. If sympathies are induced from outside, then at the crucial moment of danger and adrenaline rush, it simply won’t work. And that’s not suitable. But yes, I’m a manipulator. I chose those whose psychological patterns matched your patterns with maximum sympathy and loyalty, and pushed you towards each other. That’s all. Just a little.” He whispered into my hair. “These are your people, Haag. Your friends. Diarth and Troy too. And Agron. I didn’t take Kalon into account.” And I felt his hands around my wrists tighten slightly. “He himself managed to appreciate your... uniqueness. But let him stay. He will be extremely useful as a bodyguard.”

I was still struggling.

“What kind of place is your Earth that you don’t believe anyone could love you?”

I looked up and realized I was swallowing a lump in my throat, desperately trying to break free.

“Maybe we throw around big words about love too often, and then it turns out to be not like that at all. So...” The lump in my throat made it hard to speak.

“Be quiet,” he whispered and kissed me for the first time in two weeks. This time, he acted firmly, but without challenge or desire to cause pain. He simply took what was his. He took what he had been denied for so long, what he so desperately needed. The lump in my throat relaxed, my fists unclenched, and from somewhere far away, I heard my own moan. He bent even lower and began kissing my neck, slightly tilting me back to reach. I felt like a reed in his enormous hands. He kissed me, and I responded with a moan and yearning. The yearning of a person forced to surrender under the pressure of their own desire for someone their pride should not allow them to desire.

“Tonight,” Sgannar said harshly. And I didn’t come up with a reply.