Embrace Me Once Again

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

 MUSIC CLASS Before going to school I bring my guitar with me.this day is our PE day but since we just study las weekend is about health. And its Friday means its our MUSIC CLASS. How I hate this class but really since being the topnotcher of our batch. I need to excel everysubject so I remain on the top.even the most f*****g hate subject.  

I know how to play some instrument. I remember playing it with my mom when I was young. Cant believed it right? Haha! If only I can bring the time that I still have a time with her. I would gladly grab that chance. My mom was a great singer and my dad? He's good at painting.he's an architect afterall.  

So as I was saying,I held my guitar with me. I saw my friends holding ther instrument too.i saw Zairen holding her Guitar and Ella with her violin.i bet Klara don’t need to bring any instrument,meron naman kasing mga instrument sa music room.gaya ng forte ni Klara na piano .

Yung mga forte kasi ng iba gaya ng akin na basic lang at madaling dalhin ay pinapadala pero kung yung mga mabibigat at malalaki ay hindi na kasi meron naman sa music room.pero kung tinatamad ka magdala at kung kaya ay wala kang instrument pepwede ka namang manghiram sa Music club.well,in my case I prefer using mine. 

Since lahat naman kami ay may sari sariling mundo at wala pa ang aming teacher.iniwan ko ang gamit ko sa room at lumabas ng room dala ang bag.nakasalubong kopa ang taong kinaiinisan ko,I felt my heart beats fast. I don’t mind it maybe its because of my anger towards him.as I past by him I can see that his eyes were following me but I continue passing him. 

Nang makaliko ako sa pangalawang corridor ay agad akong napahawak sa pasilyo na naroon,naramdaman ko ang panginginig ng aking mga tuhod.ambilis din ng pagtibok ng puso ko.nalilito na nagtuloy tuloy akong maglakad patungong music room namin.  

What the f**k is wrong with me? I swear this isnt good. 

Pagdating sa music room ay pumasok na ako.Wala dito upuan,kung may upuan naman ay swertehan lang but since ako ang nauna. Umupo ako doon at sinandal ang likod sa upuan. I wear my earphone with me and play a song.tinimbre ko rito ang piano na nilapitan ko ngayon .nang makuha ko ang tamang tono ng kanta na napili ko ay sinabayan ko ito. 

' I can swear,I can joke,I say what's on my mind.if I drink if I smoke I keep on quitted guy.then you see me holding up my middle finger to the world'  Hindi ko alam kung bakit eto ang napili kong kanta pero dahil siguro bagay sakin ito? I don’t know. The thruth is I really love this song.it tells the word that I really want to say? It says that yes you see that im strong outside but did you really see the real me? The weak one? I guess no  ' f**k your revents and your pearls,coz im not just a pretty girl' No im more than the girl you know,im not that little angel that you.im more that. There's a monster inside me that you wont like me. Maybe she's just sleeping inside my head. 'im more than just a picture.im a daughter and a sister sometimes its hard for me to show that im more than just a humor or a song on your computer there's one to me than people know.'

Im worst than the girl you see,than the humor that you heard about me.there's a thing that people don’t know about me-im a weak,a fragile type of lady.i wanted to appear strong outside so no one will take advantage of me.afterall we don’t know what people really wants to you. Sometimes people just want to be close to you so that they will have the same spotlight just like on you. Minsan kasi hinahayaan nalang natin na ijudge tayo ng iba based sa mga nakikita nila sa atin eh.kahit naman kasi iexplain mo yung side mo,ipakilala mo ang tunay na ikaw.wala na ring mangyayari dahil sarado na ang utak nila at kuntento na sila sa mga nakikita nila.  

sometimes im broke,some days im rich,somedays im nice somedays I can be a bitch.somedays im strong somedays I quit I don’t let it show but I be do some s**t' Sa huling parte ng kanta ay unti unting humina ang aking pag kanta. 'somedays im strong somedays I quit' ulit kopa.wala sa sarili na napatungo ako at nanghihina na binitawan ang mga key ng piano.wala eh natamaan sa kanta hahaha! Pinunasan ko ang mga luha na pumatak sa mga mata ko at agad na tumayo.nalilito na umakyat ang mga tingin ko sa taong nasa harapan ko.gano'n na lamang ang gulat ko ng makita kung sino ang nakatayo sa harap ko.that annoying man with his famous grinned and cold eyes!!  

"w..what are you doing here?" nauutal na tanong ko rito.diretso lamang ang tingin nito sa'kin at hindi nagsasalita.nagsimulang manginig ang aking mga tuhod at bumilos ang t***k ang puso ko. Namawis din ang mga kamay ko bigla kahit malamig naman ang aircon dito sa music room. w..what the hell is he doing?! "h..hey you,im asking you w..why are you here and w..what the hell are you doing? Don’t.stay there you annoying man!!" singhal ko rito habang patuloy parin sa pag atras.hindi siya nakinig sa'kin kundi patuloy parin siya sa paglapit sa akin. I was taken back ng maramdaman ko na ang upuan sa likod ko kaya wala akong nagawa kundi maupo rito. Damn it! Is he going to kiss me? Why anj? Are you going tp let him kiss you? What no?! Why am I thinking this anyway. 

Nang makaupo ako ay siyang unti unti naman paglapit ng kanyang mukha sa akin. Halos maduling ako sa lapit ng aming mukha. Kung may balak man siyang halikan ako ay nakahanda na ang aking kamao sa kanya. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang malamig pero mabangong hininga niya. "you are weak" mahina na halos pabulong na lamang na saad nito sakin.mas lalong nanghina ang aking tuhod sa sinabi nito.tumulo ang mga luha ko hindi dahil sa lungkot kundi natumpak niya. Tama siya mahi na ako but how dare him to tell me that im weak!! Nanghihina ako na tinulak siya palayo sa akin.naiirita na pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko habang siya ay prenteng nakatayo na nakapamulsa pa sakin.naiinis ako! Naiinis ako bakit ganon?! Kahit saktan ko siya. Bakit ganon padin siya?! Bakit anlamig parin ng mga mata niya?! Naiinis ako bakit walang emosyon ang mga mata niya?!! "how dare you?!! How dare you to say that im weak?!! I hate you!!" singhal ko rito at pinagpapalo siya s a kanyang dibdib.hindi ko siya tinigilan hanggat hindi ako nanghihina at nakukuntento pero bakit ganon? Hindi ako masaya,hindi ba dapat masaya ako na nasasaktan ko yung taong nakakita ng tunay na ako? 

"you're nothing but a weak angel" saad nito.tinignan ko ito ng masama.umupo ito sa upuan ko kanina at prenteng nakapamulsa na nakapikit.parang wala lang sa kanya na halos patayin ko na siya sa tingin.maya maya lang ay dumating na rin ang mga kaklase ko.dumapo ang tingin sa'kin ni Zairen.nagtataka na tumingin siya sa'kin at kay what's this man name again? Arghh I don’t know! And I don’t care anyways.tsk! Agad na pumwesto sila sa kani kanilang upuan at ako naman ay pumwesto sa gilid sa may bandang dulo agad na dumiretso ang teacher namin sa mini stage ay nagsimula siyang idiscuss ang mga dapat na gawin namin. He even throw some examples.hindi pa man siya nagbibigay ay nakikinita kona ang ipapagawa niya sa amin. "nakita niyo naman hindi ba ang mga ipinakita ko sa inyong examples? You need to group yourselves into five and think of a songs that will represents of your mood.you need to make a music video about that.i will be giving you one week to pass that.and also that will serve as your project."saad nito at dumiretso sa isang gitara na nakatengga sa isang tabi. I cant help but to admire my teacher on how good he is on playing guitar. Wala sa sarili na napangiti ako at nakisabay sa pagkanta kasama ang mga kaklase ko.i tap my lap like I was enjoying the momentum. I grinned when I saw Zairen put her elbow on Klara's shoulder and just like what Zairen did.klara also put her elbow on Ella's shoulder. 

Iniwas ko ang tingin ko ro'n at wala sa sariling napadako ang mga mata sa taong nasa kabilang dulo ng pinagpwepwestuhan ko.i saw him looking at me with his arms crossed and cold eyes.i mouthed him' what' but he just shrugged and looked away. I saw his mouth moved and I bet he said again that im 'weak' Dumapo ang tingin ko kay Zairen and I saw her looking at me.i saw her jaw moved. I was about to smile at her but then she rolled her eyes on me. What's wrong with her? Nalilito ang tingin na tumingin sa harap. I saw my classmates singing infront of our mini stage. What?! s**t! Do we need to do that? Since wala akong kaide ideya sa pinapagawa sa'min ay agad kong kinalabit ang kaklase ko na nasa harap ko.i saw him blushed as he looked at me.kusa na tumaas ang kilay ko rito but I maintain my smile at him.tsk! "a..ano y..yun Angela?"nauutal na tanong nito.his friends even looked at me with schoock written on their face.i smiled at them. "ah,ano kasi.ano ba yung sinabi ni sir na gagawin natin?"tanong ko rito.wala sa sarili na napangiti ito kaya mas lalong nawala ang singkit nitong mga mata.tsk cute. "ganun ba,hmm ang sabi niya kumanta daw tayo sa harap gamit yung kanta na bagay sa mood nating araw na ito yung partner daw natin ang magpleplay ng instrumento na dala natin.bale parang second voice natin yung partner.hmm teka kilala mo ba partner mo?"tanong niya unfortunately parang nahulaan niya ata na hindi ko kilala kaya tinuro niya narin ang partner ko. "thankyou,what is your name again?"tanong ko rito ng nagpasalamat ako.nagulat ito pero nabawi rin kaagad.

 Baliw ata ito eh tatawa na lamang bigla.tsk! "hindi na ako nagulat,I am zach.we're classmates since freshmen year Angela haha!"saad nito.i bid my goodbye at him by saying 'ill talk to him later' but the thruth is I don’t have any reasons to talk to him.and im kinda shook when he says that 'were classmates' since freshmen. Well,I cant blame him haha! Halos kalahati nga ata ng mga kaklase ko hindi ko alam ang pangalan even the officers on my room haha! Paglapit ko sa kaklase ko na itinuro ni Zach na partner ko. Kinalabit ko muna ito bago ako tumabi rito.nasa kabilang tabi niya lang si Annoying man. 

"hey,you're my partner right? So have you decided what song are we going to sing?"tuloy tuloy na tanong ko rito.nagugulat na nakatingin ito sa akin.namula ng bahagya ang pisngi nito. Tsk boys! "a..ah kasi Angela,ano hindi ako ang partner mo,si Kiyo kasi ang partner mo hindi ako" saad nito. And who the hell is kiyo?tumango ako rito.shit! I don’t even know who the hell is kiyo! And what the f**k were out of time. "wait,who the f**k is kiyo?" tanong ko rito bago pa ito makaalis.hindi pa ito nakakasagot ay sumabat na naman si annoying man. "you and your filthy mouth ms.angela"sagot nito at nakapamulsa na tumayo.nagawa pa nitong humikab na animoy bagong gising.umirap ako rito at humarap na uli sa kaklase kong namumula.kumunot ang noo ko rito. "ahh,Angela siya si kiyo.remember the transferee heheh.sige Angela mag usap na kayo,sunod na kasi kami ng partner ko.si Klara yung betfriend mo" saad nito.nabitawan ko ito at seryosong tinignan ito. "she's not my bestfriend."saad ko rito.tumango na lamang ito at namumutlang linapitan ang kaibigan ko.i even saw Klara looked at my way.tsk! I looked at this annoying man when I heard him laughed. I glared at him but he just smirk. "stop laughfing you annoying man,c'mon let just talk about the song that we're going to sing ehem 'together' err."saad ko at labag na animoy nasusuka na banggitin yung salitang together. "what are you feeling right now? 'coz I feel this thing that was'nt normal you know that?"he said then looked at the stage.i saw Zairen there singing with her eyes closed.i see.she looks so beautiful and stand out. I sighed and look at the man beside me.i saw how his eyes glint as he look on the stage. 

'he's really inlove with Zairen' "I see, I also felt that thing but I cant also explain that thing,err what was that?but were different .i felt there is a stab on my chest. I don’t know but what really the f**k are we going to sing?" I said a little bit annoyed. He laughed again.i saw my peripheral version that Zairen is already done and she's heading our way.i cleared my throat and looked away. I saw how this annoying man looked at Zairen.and Zairen just looked away when their eyes met. 

 Nakita ko kung paano magbaba ng tingin ang lalaking kasama ko at bumuntong hininga.'he's hurting' ow really?this man? Whoaa hahaha! Marunong pala siya masaktan tsk. "can I be the one who sing?"tanong nito. Tumingin ako rito.hmm,advantage lang rin naman sa'kin yun since ayokong kumakanta ako.atsaka kami lang ang maiiba ang aksiyon kung sakali na siya ang kakanta sa aming dalawa. Tumango ako rito bilang pag sang ayon. "sure,that's a big advantage to us annoying man and for sure if you're the one who will sing mas mag eexcell tayo.and we will be having the highest score at sa ngayon palang .thanks annoying man" saad ko rito Kumunot ang noo nito but I don’t mind him.nakita ko ang pagdilim ng tingin nito pero hindi ko ito pinansin. We will be having the highest score?see,that's a big advantage for me and for sure mom will be happy for that. "the song that I chose to sing was 'swear it again' it was sung by westlife,you familiar with them?"tanong nito sa'kin.tumingin ako rito at tumango. "ofcourse! Who wouldn’t be?they're so good!" saad ko rito.that's good that im familiar with the key of that song.hays,wala palang kinakabahan na ako.hinawakan ko ang kamay ko na nanginginig at tinahan ito. I looked at the man beside me. He just looked calm and mukhang sanay na. "lets go,tayo na."saad nito at nanguna na maglakad.kahit kinakabahan ay taas noo akong hunakbang papunta sa stage at pumwesto sa isa sa upuan na naroon.tinignan ko ang kapartner ko at nakita ko siyang nakaupo na sa pwesto niya habang nasa harap ang mic. 'he looks so good even tho his eyes has no emotion' Tumikhim ako at nagsimulang iplay ang intro ng kanta.ramdam na ramdam ko ang titig sa amin ng mga kaklase ko.i start strumming at my guitar with my eyes close. I prefer playing with my eyes close coz I felt comfortable with this style. Nanindig ang mga balahibo ko ng marinig ko ang malamig niyang boses na kumakanta.malamig ito pero buo at masarap pakinggan.what's wrong with me and my heart?it was beating fast! What the hell? ' I wanna know whoever told you that I was letting go?they only cho that I ever know,girl they're lying' 'just take a rown and all the people that we use to know just give it up they wanna let it go,but we're still tryin' 'sp you should know this love we share was not made to die ,im glad to rown this one swe string,just you and I' "just you and I" saad ko ng halos pabulong na lamang at tumingin sa kanya.pumihit ako ng isang pilit na ngiti at humarap sa lahat kasabay ng pagsabay ko sa kanya ng pagkanta.' he was looking at my bestfriend when he says you and I and that was the time that I felt there is something in my heart that suddenly got stab' 'I never wanna say goodbye coz I never wanna see you cry' 'I swore you my love will remain and I swear it all over again' He sung that line while looking at Zairen and I saw how zairen looked away.she's blushing.but suddenly ay ngumiti ito at tumango kay Kiyo na nagpatuloy sa pagkanta pero may naksilay ng ngisi at saya sa mga mata. 'I never wanna treat you bad coz I never wanna see you sad' And I swear you the joy will remain,and I swear it all over again' 

 Malungkot ang mga mata na ibinaba ko na lamang ang aking mga mata at itinuon ang mga mata sa strings at tahimik na sumasabay sa kanya.pinilig ko ang aking mga ulo at itinaas ang aking mga mata.i should enjoy this moment.i almost forgot that I am the queen on this moment. I should be happy! Makukuha ko ang mataas na score.yun ang daahilan kaya k to ginagawa .right! Sa second stanza ay ako naman ang kumanta.tumigil siya sa pagkanta at tumingin sa'kin.nagpatuloy ako sa paggigitara habang kumakanta.tumaas ang kilay nito at ngumisi.pasiring na tumingin ako rito habang nakasuot ang peke na ngiti. 'some people say that everything is that was place it time even the day this feeling to the night,but im not lying.' 'coz if you right I see the love that person eternally you will see how beautiful you're to me t I'm not lying' 'coz everytime we wanna say goodbye.but if we try thre are somethingi in the life that wont be the night' " wont be the night" sabay nito sa'kin at tumingin sa'kin.ngumiti ako rito at nagpatuloy sa pagkatanta.umiwas ako ng tingin dito at ngumiti sa mga kaklase ko na masayang nakatingin samin.i just enjoyed singing 'I never wanna say goobye coz I never wanna see you cry' 'I swore you my love will remain and I swear it all over again' 'I never wanna treat you bad coz I never wanna see you sad' 'and I swear you the joy will remain and I swear it all over again "all over again…all over againn. And I swear it all over againnn" sabay na kanta namin habang siya ay nakatingin sa harap at ako'y sa kanya nakatingin.naagaw ang pansin ko sa pag open ng pintuan ng music room. I saw Zairen walked away.napadako ang tingin ko kay Kiyo na nakapamulsa na lumabas rin ng music room.  

Hindi 'yon napansin ng aming guro dahil abala siya sa pagpapauri kung`gaano kaganda ang performance namin.ngumiti lamang ako rito at ibinigay sa kanya ang slip namin ni Kiyo.tinanggap niya ito at sa huli ay pinapurihan na naman kami.napabuntong hininga na lumapit na lamang ako sa upuan ko. 'yeah right,its too clear that he likes Zairen even tho he's just transferee..love at first sight?maybe' I take alook on his table.walang lalaki na tulog.tsk! Baka nagcecelebrate na sila ni Zairen dahil sa ganda ng performance niya o di kaya ay bati na sila.maya maya lang ay nag dissmiss na ang guro namin.gaya ng dati ay hinintay ko na lamang ang paglabas nilang lahat.i saw my classmates smiling at me.so I smiles at them back. They were shock when I smiled at them tha't's why I shook my head. 

Anong nakakagulat sa pag ngiti?tsk! Nagulat ako ng lapitan ako ng isa kong kaklase na babae.she was bubbly and cute. "ah Angela c..congrats! Ang ganda ng performace ninyo and actually you too look good together haha! Congrats uli!" bati nito sa'kin at tumakbo na palabas.tsk! Hindi manlang hinintay ang aking sagot.napailing iling ako dito at ngumiti. 

 We look good together? Tsk! Its gross! Disgusting! "you looked happy"wala sa ssarili na napatalon ako sa boses na narinig ko. Dahan dahan na humarap ako rito at sinamaan ng tingin. "ano naman ngayon ha?! Masama maging masaya?"singhal ko rito.ngumisi ito sa'kin dahilan ng mas lalong pagkainis ko. "you're smiling and yet you're now pissed hah!"saad nito sa may pangaasar na tono.dali dali na kinuha ko ang bag ko at tinabig siya.hindi pa ako nakakalabas ng room ay siya na namang banat niya na mas lalong kinainis ko. "you're smiling.is it because you got the highest score? Or should I say we? Why? Another achievement that you achieve? Tsk!" saad nito.humarap ako rito at sinampal. "shut up! You don’t know anything shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" saad ko rito. "is that the way you say thank you? Welcome then" saad nito gamit ang sarkastikong boses. at naunang lumabas ng room dala ang gamit niya.nanghihina na napaupo ako sa isang upuan at napasapo sa aking buhok.shit! I think sobra ata ang ginawa. Damn him! Nangongonsensya ba siya? Damn him! I works f**k it!