CEO, PLEASE STOP BEING CRAZY!The Sane Secretary’s Guide to Surviving a Cliche Romance

I was standing in the penthouse office on the 88th floor, watching my boss—Grant Moore—pinning a petite girl against the glass wall. His hand gripped her chin firmly. "Tell me! Who sent you here to seduce me?" His voice was deep and husky, like a malfunctioning truck engine trying to sound sexy. The female lead, Lily, was trembling, tears pooling in her eyes. "I... I just came to deliver the milk tea..." I stood two meters away, checking my watch. Ten minutes had passed. 【 Ding! System Requirement: Host, please step forward and trip over the Male Lead to create a jealous misunderstanding, sparking their romance. Penalty for non-compliance: Level 1 Electric Shock! 】 I screamed internally: System, are you out of your mind? I’m wearing a tight pencil skirt and four-inch stilettos! How am I supposed to "artfully" trip without losing my front teeth? And most importantly: THE MILK TEA IS LEAKING ALL OVER THE FLOOR, YOU TWO IDIOTS! "Sir." I cleared my throat, maintaining the stoic, deadpan expression of a professional secretary. Grant didn't even turn his head. "Get out! Don't make me say it twice!" "Oh, I’d love to 'get out,' sir." I calmly pushed up my glasses. "But that 5-dollar milk tea Miss Lily brought is currently seeping into your 100,000-dollar wool rug. If you don't let her go in the next five seconds, the smell of sour dairy will haunt this office longer than your family legacy." Grant froze. Lily stopped crying and looked down at her feet, bewildered. 【 Warning! Host has ruined the ambiguous atmosphere! Commencing electric shock punishment! 】 Zzzzzzt! A surge of electricity shot up my spine, making me jump. Instead of falling gracefully into the Male Lead’s arms like the System wanted, my arm swung wildly, sending a thick file folder flying straight into the back of Grant’s head. THWACK! The mighty CEO was caught off guard, his head jerking forward. According to cliché romance logic, his lips should have landed on hers. But no! Because I was sane, I saw the trajectory: It was a forehead-to-forehead collision. CLUNK! The sound of their skulls hitting each other was as crisp as a breaking coconut. Both of them collapsed to the floor, clutching their heads in agony. I glanced at the System's bright red 【 Mission Failed 】 notification, then at the mess on the floor. I sighed and pulled out my phone. "Hello, industrial cleaning crew? 88th floor. We have a 'brainless' disaster zone. Yes, bring extra-strength painkillers too." As Grant glared at me with eyes that could kill, I simply shrugged. "Why are you looking at me like that, sir? The System made me do it." "What did you just say?" Grant growled. "Oh, nothing. I meant... you’re just so handsome, sir. You dazzled me, and my hand slipped." I swear, if it wasn't for the million-dollar contract and my dream of early retirement, I would have thrown my shoes at this System a long time ago!