Fearless Boy

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

He hates me now. I think. Or maybe he's plotting something against me. f**k. Did I overdo it? I teased him for punishing me. Did he get tired of me? Did he lose his interests over me?

I can only think of the worst things that might happen. What if he chose another man or worse a woman to replace me? Wait, he did said that he loves me. He still do, right?

Hindi niya naman ako siguro papalitan na lang dahil nga mahal niya ako, di ba? Mahal niya ako kaya hindi niya iyon gagawin. He loves me. He said it himself. Mahal niya ako.

Pero bakit niya ako iniiwasan?

Okay lang sana kung isang araw lang pero f**k, five days na. I'm feeling s**t over something so confusing. And I'm damn scared.

"Ugh!"

Sinabunutan ko na ang buhok ko dahil sa sobrang frustration ko. Hindi pa niya ako magawang tawagan man lang. Kahit text wala. Hindi ba siya marunong mag-text? Naputulan na kasi hindi nagbabayad ng phone bill? Nanakawan ng cellphone? Or nalowbat at nakalimutang i-charge?

"f*****g Chanyeol."

Tumayo na ako at kinuha ang mga gamit ko. Papasok na lang ako dahil world literature naman ang subject ko. Classmate kami sa subject na iyon kaya siguradong nandoon siya. Papasok na siya, di ba?

He wouldn't want to stain his good records just for the sake of avoiding me totally. I mean, that's f**k.

"f*****g Park Asshole Chanyeol."

**

"So, are you mad?"

I sat comfortably inside his car. Naka-Indian seat pa ako dahil feel na feel ko talaga ang kotse niya. I love his car! And he love me, still! Napangisi ako dahil sa naisip ko.

"No. I don't do mad."

He can deny all he wants but I won't believe him. He's f*****g mad at me and I love it! I love it that he's mad and still insanely I love with me! I'm just so happy right now I could kiss him!

"You know... I kinda miss you. And, I love... your car."

I chuckled as I saw his grin. And he's f*****g happy now. I'm so smart. I knew he'll be in a better mood when I tell him how much I love his car.

"I love you, too."

Parang nagpaparty ang mga mini Baekhyun ko sa tyan. I'm so happy hearing him say those words.

"I know. Can we have argument-phase s*x now? Please. Then after that we can do some make-up sex."

Naglaro ang mga ngiti sa kanyang mga labi. Napangiti din ako. And now he's really in a good mood. I like him like this. Happy. And crazy about me.

"You horny little thing."

Ngumisi ako at kumandong sa kanya. Medyo nahirapan ako dahil nasa kotse niya kami pero hindi ako nagpapigil. Sabi kasi nila, walang mahirap sa taong kulang sa s*x. Pero ako lang talaga ang nagsabi nun.

"I'm horny for you."

At mas lalo pa siyang napangisi.

**

"I love it that you chased after me."

Sabi niya habang nilalaro ang mga daliri ko. After the whole day and whole night of f*****g we ended up cuddling on his bed. Damn. I missed his bed. And his sexpertise, of course.

"I missed your cock."

I said yawning. I'm sleepy but I don't want to sleep. Gusto ko lang na nararamdaman ko ang bawat paghinga niya at paghaplos sa akin.

"I missed you, too."

Tumango ako at mas siniksik ang mukha ko sa kanyang leeg. He smells of me and him and s*x. He smells divine.

"I love chasing things that I want. And I want you all over me."

I can almost see his smile but I was so sleepy to smile back at him. Hmm. Maybe, just maybe, I really am in love with him. Maybe.

**

Ninety hours, twenty-seven minutes and ten seconds. I've been crying for that long. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko pa nagagawang maglabas ng luha dahil sa tagal kong umiyak.

Hindi ko din alam kung para saan ba ang luha ko. Dahil ba umaapaw na sa pera ang bank account ko dahil sa paghuhulog ni Chanyeol o dahil nakita ko siyang may kahalikan na babae. Maybe the first one is the main reason.

Bakit naman kasi ako iiyak kung may kahalikan siya, di ba? I won't waste my precious tears just because I caught him cheating. Hindi naman kasi kami.

"f*****g Park Chanyeol."

Suminghot ako at naisipan ko na na tumayo. Wala namang mangyayari kung uupo lang ako at iiyak maghapon. Why waste my tears for someone who's not worth it?

Chinarge ko na ang phone ko na lowbat na dahil sa patuloy na pagtawag ni Chanyeol. I didn't answer any of his calls. Ni hindi ko din binasa ang mga message niya. What's the use, right?

I took my clothes off and went inside the bathroom. Maliligo na ako para mawala ang stress ko sa katawan. Dahil sa pag-iyak ay nakalimutan ko na ang proper hygiene - hindi ako naliligo. Ewww. This is all Chanyeol's fault. Please blame him for my ewness.

Naglublob ako sa bathtub. Sarap ng buhay. Bakit walang ganito sa apartment ko? Pero sa apartment ni Chanyeol meroon. Damn. I should've bought an apartment with a huge bathroom. Yung may jacuzzi. I can afford it anyway.

Or maybe I should just stay here at the hotel. Ha! May room service pa. Kaya lang mamumulubi ako in no time.

"f*****g Park Chanyeol."

At pinaglaruan ko ang mga bula para mawala sa isipan ko si Chanyeol. Now I really do hate him. I really do. And he f*****g made me cry.

**

"So... I'm dropping out of school."

Nabitawan ni dean ang hawak niyang papel. His expression is priceless. Damn. I should've brought my camera to capture it.

"W-why?"

And I f*****g made him stutter. I should be given an award for it. The cruel and ruthless dean of this f*****g university stuttered because of me. Am I that awesome?

"Because I can."

At tumayo na ako para iwan siya. When you made your enemy dropped their jaws, then leave 'em. Walk out na para wala na siyang masabi pa.

I was grinning while walking down the hallway. How I'm not gonna miss this bullshit school. All the people, so f*****g weird and stupid.

Nakita ko yung babae na kahalikan ni Chanyeol. So, she's a student here? I grinned evilly. Chanyeol would be so happy. He'll be bowing down the carpet I'll be walking. Hah!

Nilapitan ko ang babae. She's not pretty. Really ugly. Really really ugly. She's wearing a white floral dress that reaches her knees. f*****g conservative. Ganito ba ang mga gusto niya? I can be like this. Not in the sense of wearing of dress, but I can if he wants to.

"Excuse me."

Napalingon siya sa akin. She's smiling at me and right at that moment I realized that I so hate her.

"Yes?"

I smirked at her and looked at her from head to toe.

"Tell Chanyeol that I f*****g love him and I don't want to see his face again. Ciao!"

Itinulak ko siya na siyang naging dahilan para matumba siya. Narinig ko ang nagulat na sigaw ng mga tao sa paligid. They're all looking at me as if I did something horrendous. I chuckled. Bunch of pathetic losers.

"I'll not be seeing you losers, ever!"

**

South Korea, 4 days later

"Wag mo na ngang ipaalala sa akin na narinig mo kami, Baek!"

I laughed hard and winked at him. Nahuli ko kasi na nasesex sila ng boyfriend niya sa banyo. Damn. His moans are sexy. And so's Jongin's groans.

"Ang screamer mo. Damn."

Pinamulahan ito ng mukha at hinampas ako sa braso. Papasok na kami sa bar kung nasaan ang mga kaibigan namin. I missed them. I missed my old self.

"Ewan ko sayo, Byun Baekhyun!"

At tumawa na naman ako. Ang cute talaga ni Soo.

**

"Bitiwan mo ako!"

I can't believe it. I f*****g can't believe it! Magkaibigan sila ni Jongin! At nandito na din siya sa South Korea. This is a nightmare. Sana ay mamaya na ako magising. I've been celibate for two weeks. And I'll be damn if I'm not horny.

"Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

Gusto ko na lang matawa sa tanong niya. Well, I can laugh so I did. Tumawa ako ng malakas. Tears sprung from eyes.

"Just f**k me and make me forget how much I love you. Because for two weeks, for f*****g two weeks, all I wanted to feel is hate towards you."

Hinapit niya ako sa baywang at siniil ng halik.