My bruises, Your Pain

Chapter 18: Trapped inside my body

There was babbling, great! I am still alive, I think. The room was significantly bright, my eyes could barely focus. When my eyes finally adjusted, all I could see were medical equipment and doctors, I continued scanning the room to see if I could find Austin, but he wasn’t there. I felt so tired after fighting against it I couldn’t do it anymore, I closed my eyes and dozed off.

Doctors

“I have read about things like these but I haven’t experienced it myself, have you?” One doctor to another. He shook his head in disbelief, “Treatment from here on forward will be difficult but not impossible. Since neither of us has experience in this, the timeline will be difficult but studies shows that it shouldn’t last longer than a month at ones. I think we start with getting her comfortable, if it was any other situation I would send her home to recuperate but since we need to study every movement she will have to stay here.” He paused looking at the door as if he tried to encourage himself “I just don’t know how her family would react, I mean we don’t know what we are doing…” The doctors continued talking, sharing ideas and finally stepped out.

Austin

I fidgeted with the bloody diary in my hand and couldn’t help but feel that it was the reason I was standing here. From the corner of my eye I could see my family keeping AJ occupied, I hated for him to see me like this but I haven’t had a chance to change and it was just a few cuts and bruises. I would think that I should to be in worse shape, but other than a few broken ribs and scratches here and there I am fine. I closed my eyes and everything replayed in my mind, I should have listened to her and focus on the road. I clutched the diary as if I wanted to break it in half and before I knew it I blurted out “if it wasn’t for this stupid thing!” All eyes were on me, the pity and worry in their eyes, I hated it! I took a long breath and try and apologise for my outburst but the doors to Aysa’s room opened.

The doctors walked out, they seem nervous and stressed. I can’t believe that she didn’t make it. How am I going to raise our son without her? This is not fair, we just started our life together, was this still part of my punishment? My mind was going insane, I know I had to be strong for her but…

“Mr Hunter?” the doctor asked trying to get my attention.  His voice was shaky and not at all comforting. I took a deep breath preparing myself for what was to follow. Finally I got myself to the point to say yes, and walk towards them. Have you ever experience a situation where everyone else was frozen in time, where you could see everyone’s lips move, their facial expression and actions? That was what it felt like as I approached them. Their hands were fidgety, avoiding eye contact and the wrinkles between their eyebrows were pulled as if they were trying really hard to keep a straight face. They started talking and I could see their lips move but I couldn’t hear anything.

“Do you understand Mr Hunter?” they asked. “To be honest, I didn’t hear a word you said, do you mind going through that again?” I said, giving them an apologetic look.

“It’s understandable, although the doctors checked you out already shock is very common especially since you were in the car with her. Well, your wife seems to be in a narcoleptic state, which is a neurological disorder that effects how the body reacts to sleeps but in her case it’s different in the sense that this was brought on by her injuries she sustained during an accident. Normally, someone who suffer from narcolepsy’s body can fall asleep at any time but their mind remains awake. Well that part is still the same for you wife but since it isn’t something she was diagnosed with and only brought on by her injuries makes it difficult to treat in the sense that neither of us has ever had any experience with it.”

I have never even heard of the words the doctors has just used, “So she is in a coma?” I asked trying to understand it better.

“Well, not exactly. Your wife, I think it will be better if we showed you what we meant.” The doctors walked into her room, I followed. I saw her and couldn’t help to grin a little, her face full of little bruises, her arms with scratches and a bandage around her head. Although so hurt, still so beautiful.

“Aysa, Aysa,” the doctors called her name, I was so confused because I didn’t expect them to talk to her.  After they called her name a couple of time she opened her eyes. I took a few steps back, I think it was just too much for me. The doctor walked up to me “You see, her brain is awake, she can hear and see us but she cannot move or talk. We haven’t explained this to her because we were hoping you would do it in order to keep her calm and relaxed, a bit unorthodox but someone familiar might be just what she needs.”

After a mental pep talk, I walked towards her bed, her eyes filled up with tears as soon her eyes met mine.

Aysa

“Babe you are okay, we are okay.” Why is he just standing there looking at me? Why can’t he hear me, maybe I should just touch his face, hold his hand. I tried and tried, but my arms were just too heavy to lift up. My eyes got so filled with tears and I can’t wipe them away, I started panicking, was I paralysed?

Austin lifted his hand and wiped away my tears, as if he knew it was starting to bother me. He starts talking to me, explaining what was wrong. I was trapped inside my body, I won’t be able to do anything for myself and the doctors don’t know how long it can last, well that’s how I understood it.

I closed my eyes, to think that this could have been prevented if I wasn’t caught up on finding my mother, but it’s over. If I get better, I want to forget that she ever existed.

The doctor interrupted my thoughts, asking questions like blink your eyes twice if you can hear me, so many times if my name is Aysa etcetera, etcetera. It was frustrating all I wanted to do was scream at the top of my lungs but nothing!

Austin

The fact that she has to stay here for observation is hard, our home would have been the best place for her to recover but seeing the disappointment in her eyes when I told her what is going on, that was devastating. Not feeling her grip as I hold her hand, not hearing her voice…I stared at our son, do I tell him? If I don’t how long do I give it before bringing him to her…I can’t make these type of decisions, that was Aysa’s strong point. I could no longer be strong, I let it all out before explaining to everyone what was going on even though I don’t really know.

Aysa

Dear God, I know I haven’t spoken to you in a while, but it seems as if it’s just you and me for a bit since you are the only one who can hear me, I am sorry. I closed my eyes and allow my brain to rest.