My bruises, Your Pain

Chapter 11: When you least expect it

Dear diary…Aysa, today the desire to be your mom is bigger than what I have ever experienced before, maybe it’s because I saw you walking down the aisle today… I am sorry, it’s not fair of me to mention this without you understanding why and how but Aysa I miss you and I regret most of the decisions I made.

Back to why you are not with me, so as days went by we got better and better at our jobs and for the first time since forever it felt like I had a family, the Lategan’s , the owners of the farm really took us under their wing. Mrs Lategan was determined for us to finish school so she enrolled us in a distance learning programme which gave us the opportunity to study without even leaving the farm. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months, things were working out for us. Getting onto that truck was the best decision we could have made, we have been saving every cent we have been earning because we literally didn’t need anything because they made sure of everything. We ate with them around their table, in their house, it’s as if they were so happy to be parents. If it’s one thing that this big house was missing was children. There were not even pictures of any children which might mean they didn’t have any which is kind of sad.

As it is with parents, they started getting more and more involved with decision we had to make and although it was something I have missed in my life and appreciated tremendously, it was feeling a bit awkward. They just wanted us to stay so badly, every time we wanted to go to town or just away for the day or so on our off days something suddenly popped up that required either one of us to help out. I think I was just paranoid because nothing good has ever lasted so long. It was one of those days where we wanted to get out a bit but the electricity went off and Alec had to help out. So I was just sitting on the couch and went through some of the textbooks and finish off an assignment, which was a bit cruel of me because that means I was ahead.

“Are you hard at work?” a voice asked from the window, giving me a fright.

 I looked through the window to find Mr Lategan standing there, “Mr. Lategan, you gave me a fright, I didn’t see you there.”

“Who says that wasn’t the plan?” he said with a look in his eyes I have never seen before. But before I could react or reply he continued “I am sorry I didn’t mean to frighten you, I just wanted to check on you and tell you we were still busy with the electricity. You should come sit at the house if you get lonely or bored especially if it gets late.”

I laughed so that I could hide my sigh of relief, “I am all good here, thank you. I have just gotten into this assignment and I don’t want to lose momentum now.” I said through the giggles.

He nodded and left, it gave me a chill down my spine, why was I scared all of a sudden? But before I could completely freak out the door swing open and Alec appeared, all sweaty and dirty like he was hard at work.

He came in for a kiss and I pushed him away with a book, “Oh no mister, you clean yourself up first before even thinking about doing that.” I said as I was fighting him off.

“Please, don’t be like that,” he begged with the cutest look on his face. I cave and kissed him.

“Now we both need a shower,” he said satisfied with himself as if it was his plan all along.

After the shower we ate and I helped him to get up to date with the assignment that I had a head start with and we even started with the next one, we were really each other’s motivation.

“How about a movie?” he asked as he pointed to the laptop, another of the Lategan’s gifts.

“That would be amazing right now,” I replied, throwing the book on the floor and relaxed my head on the bed.

We watched the movie for a while, he laid with his head on my lap and I was playing with my fingers in his hair. We weren’t even fifteen minutes into the movie when I felt him dozing off as his muscles contracted and he got heavier on top of me. I guess it’s understandable he worked really hard… “I guess you and Mr Lategan worked really hard, for you to be so tired?” he turned his head to face me “It was only me and the other guys, Mr Lategan wasn’t there at all,” he said. “Oh, I see” I paused for a while “You should sleep and regain your strength,” I said as I pat the cushion next to me signalling him to come and lay next to me. He snuggled up next to me and after a peck on the cheek he was out like a candle.

If my Mr Lategan wasn’t there, how come he know he was busy? Well he was off with that anyway, since he was hardly gone when Alec showed up. What was his intention? Was it sincere or something I should be telling Alec? The questions were just running through my mind making sleep almost impossible. I laid on my left side looking at Alec sleeping peacefully and wishing he could wake up and just hold me because I could really use one right now. I eventually fell asleep but I was confronted with nightmares and when I woke up I didn’t want to fall asleep again.

The next morning Alec could sense something was off and he kept pestering me to tell him what was going on but what was I supposed to say? That I felt uncomfortable, with the person who has been doing so much for us, was checking in on me? That he kind off lied to me? I couldn’t do that and risk our jobs and place to stay.

“I am fine, just a restless night. Maybe because I went to sleep without a proper goodnight kiss,” I said deflecting his attention. He gave me a proper kiss, long and very intimate. “Now you can’t say that ever again,” he said giving me the biggest smile. We walked out together, hand in hand and my stress was forgotten. We went about our day, worked hard had lunch together and it was at lunch we got the biggest surprise. We started having lunch with them every day as per Mrs Lategan suggestion, it made all the other workers a bit jealous but they soon realised it wasn’t going to change a thing so they have also started treating us like their kids. Weird because even though we were part of the family we were still working as slaves for them. My appetite wasn’t as big as always, probably because of everything I had on my mind but the food was still delicious. We sat outside, overlooking the vineyards with the full roast chicken aroma hanging in the air. I was playing with the food on my plate, moving it from the one side to the other when I saw Mrs Lategan pointing her head towards us as if she was trying to tell Mr Lategan something. It wasn’t long before he broke the silence…

“Alec, Deirdre, it has been a while since you have come to the farm and we thought (he looked at his wife) it would be a good thing if you guys go to town for a bit. We will be leaving early tomorrow morning and returning the evening.” He said with a happy tone but his face was telling a different story.

Alec didn’t even think about it for a second, “That would be amazing, I have been dying to take her to a restaurant or something.” He said as he looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time in a while.

“I don’t want you to waste your money so here,” Mrs Lategan said as she handed Alec money that was rolled up like a cigar.

He tried to refuse but she wouldn’t take no for an answer, through all of this I was just sitting there staring out in front of me not realising what just happened.

That night I struggled to sleep yet again but this time it was because it finally sank in and I was excited to see something other than this farm. I literally laid awake until the alarm went off, I woke him up “Let’s go, let’s go!” I screamed, waking him up like a crazy person. He didn’t hesitate, he was just as excited as I was, and we finished up so quickly and ran to the house to meet up with them. They took a while and for a minute I thought they might have changed their minds but just as I was about to lose hope they walked out the door.

The ride in to town felt just as long as I remembered but finally I could see some buildings coming up in front of us. The smile on my face grew bigger and broader, I took his hand and kissed it and for a moment time stood still. It was an amazing day, filled with browsing shops, buying clothes and eating different foods. We did it all but still had some money left over, we felt like a tourists visiting a new country. We went back to try and find the lady who gave us money and with our luck she was outside of the same shop we met her before. I gave her some money and she started crying…

“The Lord blesses those who bless others,” she kept saying over and over as she hugged us tightly.

My day felt complete, I felt whole and rejuvenated…and before we knew it was over and time to head back.