The taste of forbidden

19. A thinner and thinner thread. [Part 2]

"What are you doing?" she asks, looking at me in surprise.

"You’ll need it later," I say, placing the shirt over the wooden wall to keep it from getting wet.

Then I turn on the shower, and cold water starts falling over her body.

Lia wraps her arms around herself, her eyes shut as the water soaks her.

"Lift your arms," I ask, and she does so without hesitation.

Again, without thinking much, I pull her blouse up and off her arms, leaving her in just her bra. No words are spoken between us, and I don’t even feel the need to ask for permission. Lia doesn’t seem to mind either, because when I kneel in front of her to pull down her leggings, she lifts each foot at the right time, allowing me to leave her in nothing but underwear.

I can feel her eyes on me, silent and curious, as I toss her blackberry-stained clothes to the side.

Still on the floor, I look up, drops of water falling on my face from where I’m kneeling.

"Are you okay?" I ask, looking for her eyes.

Lia blinks, her hand reaches down to me and quickly wipes away the moisture falling on my face.

"I want you to erase from your head the words she said to you…"

"Lia…" I close my eyes.

"No," her voice is that force that won’t let me deny her anything. "I could feel how much they hurt you, Becket. I could feel her words scratching at your chest… and it’s not okay."

Unable to help it, I lean into her soft touch when her thumb moves under my eyelids with this infinite tenderness, brushing the water away.

"Damn it, Becket," I hear the tears in her voice, so I open my eyes to see her fighting them when she says, "You’re the best man I’ve ever known in my life, you know that?"

"Babe…" I swallow hard, a knot the size of a rock settles in my chest and I want to… f**k! I close my eyes again, struggling so much to…

"And I can’t stand to see someone hurt you," I hear her sniffle, her voice barely a thread when she admits, "It feels like it hurts me too."

Shit, s**t, s**t!

Defeated by her, I fall forward. My face presses against her soft belly as my arms wrap around her lower back, pulling her closer to me. At this point, all I feel is desperation, craving, hunger for her touch… for her skin.

Lia slides her fingers through the wet strands of my hair, combing them gently as I breathe her scent through my mouth. My lips brush her wet skin, making her rise on the tips of her toes from the sensation, but I pull her tighter, dragging a soft whimper from her that shoots straight to my core.

I curse against her skin, pressing my forehead over and over to her stomach, fighting for… control.

A control that hangs by a thin thread, growing thinner and thinner… with every breath, every second, every damn heartbeat she owns.

I trail my hands down her back, the tips of my fingers curling into her skin, needing to grasp more and more of her, to touch her, feel her, devour her. I stop at her hips, grabbing the delicate, flimsy fabric of her soaked panties.

I stroke the fabric between my fingers, the fragile barrier that would be so easy to tear.

Fuck.

I tug a small inch downward, following the path I’m baring with my nose.

And I stay there, nearly breathing against her most intimate place, about to taste her.

A near-animalistic growl escapes me as I squeeze tighter, almost tearing the fabric in my rough fingers. My chest rises and falls shakily while I search within me for one last shred of sanity.

We can’t.

God knows I didn’t bring her here for this.

Carefully, I place the fabric back into place, my eyes locked on my hands because I don’t know what I’d do if I looked into her eyes and found even a flicker of the desire running wild through my skin.

I’m not that strong, not when it comes to her.

I stand up and ask, "Turn around."

Lia, again, with absolute trust in me, obeys.

"My hair?" she asks, looking at the wall in front of her.

"Yeah, you’ve got jam in your hair," I answer what she was implicitly asking. "I’m going to wash it, okay?"

She nods, also not looking at me, as if she’s fighting the same battles I am.

I reach for the shampoo and pour a generous amount into my hands before rinsing her long blonde strands. I take my time washing her. I do it to cool off, but also to give her time to calm down.

What are we doing?

Worse, how is it that even when I’m one step from crossing the line, I still can’t walk away?

"You can’t let her provoke you like that," I comb her lathered hair with my fingers, then gather it all up to massage her scalp.

Lia leans back a bit, closer to me.

"I’m not going to let her treat you like that, or Cass either, I don’t care that she’s her mother."

I smile and hold back the urge to pull her head back and devour her mouth with a crushing kiss, to slide my tongue into her throat and…

I sigh.

"We don’t know what Loretta is capable of."

"I can defend myself, Beck."

"I know," I gather her hair into a ponytail, letting the water rinse the soap from her back, "that’s what scares me the most."

I know she catches the humor in my voice because she glances over her shoulder at me, eyes sparkling with laughter as she giggles at my silly joke.

I keep working in silence until her hair is as clean as it can be. Carefully, I take her by the shoulders and turn her to face me. It’s impossible not to let my eyes drop momentarily to her cleavage, where water runs in streams I want to chase with my mouth.

I blink and look into her eyes, embarrassed, but Lia is looking at my chest, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Don’t think about that," I say, because I know her well enough to know she’s thinking about the pain of my scars.

"I’m sorry, sometimes I… I guess I just can’t help it."

Needing some space and more clothing between us, I turn off the shower and reach for my shirt. I dry Lia with the same shirt before pulling it over her body. Now that she’s covered and the adrenaline from the fight has passed, I ask more seriously, "Tell me, did she hurt you?"

"I’m fine," she shakes her head, "she didn’t touch me."

I nod, relieved.

"I’m going to get Loretta off the ranch," I decide.

"Becket…"

"No," I shake my head when I see her trying to change my mind. "I can’t have her here, near you. I can’t, Lia…"

"But Cass…"

Loretta will surely try to use her against me, but I can’t, I don’t feel okay having her so close to Lia.

If she ever hurts her, lays a single finger on her… I wouldn’t be able to take it.

"I’ll talk to Hank," I promise. "We’ll find a way to make sure our decisions don’t hurt Cassidy… but I can’t have Loretta near you, Lia. I can’t."

We stare at each other for long seconds where she seems to search for something in my eyes… until she nods, giving in.

"But only if you find a way not to hurt Cass, okay, Beck?"

"I promise you, I’d never do anything to hurt her"—and she knows it.

She nods and we stay like that for several more seconds, in silence, just looking at each other, too afraid to say more.

"Go to your cabin," I ask her, voice rough, "stay there while I try to fix the mess Loretta caused."

"But…"

"Just for today, please," I beg. "She must be furious right now, I don’t want you to run into her again, not so soon."

Relief fills my chest when Lia nods.

She pauses at the door before leaving, looks over her shoulder, and smiles at me. Her eyes look a deep, beautiful green while she’s still wet from the shower, giving her an almost angelic appearance.

So beautiful.

I smile back and she leaves.

I take a step back toward the shower, turn it on, and let the water run over my body.

Fucking hell, what was I about to do?

|…|

"And Cass?" I ask Rose when I approach the house again.

"Hank took her. He was absolutely furious, I’ve never seen him like that."

No surprise there. It’s the first time Loretta involved Cass in her s**t. I think Hank had been putting up with it because her verbal and physical abuse had never touched Cassidy before, but now that it has, I’m not sure what he’ll do.

"And Loretta?"

"We all kicked her out," Miguel tells me.

"All of you?"

"The ranch hands were furious after the s**t she said to you…"

"And they went even crazier when Loretta tried to hit Lia," this time it’s Autumn who speaks, whom I only now notice. "She’s really loved around here, huh?"

I just nod, because there’s no denying the obvious.

Autumn tries to lift a box full of jam jars, so I step in and carry it for her. I nod my head for her to follow me. Once we’re alone in the pantry, I ask, "How’s Cass?"

"Hank calmed her down," she tells me, "but she did get really upset from Loretta’s yelling."

"f**k," I run a hand down my jaw. "I’m going to see her."

"No," she stops me. "Hank took her out of here asleep, her eyes were all swollen from crying. Let her rest today, just in case you run into Loretta again and things get worse."

I guess she’s right, but it kills me not to be close to Cass right now.

"And Lia?" she asks, eyeing my bare, wet chest in a way that’s more curious than interested. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you shirtless and wet…?"

"Do you know Miguel’s old cabin?" I cut off her question—she’s always been too nosy for her own good. "The one over there"—I point in the right direction.

"Where Lia’s staying?"

I nod sharply.

"Want to go keep her company?" I ask. "Take her some food and drinks. Stay with her for a bit while we make sure Loretta got the message and won’t come back for more trouble."

"Sure," she says without issue, already starting to gather things from the fridge.

Satisfied with that, I say goodbye and go to my room to get dressed. With Hank staying with Cass, the cattle herding was left unsupervised, so I go back to finish the job. A big part of me wants to go straight back to Lia, make sure she’s okay, but we pulled too hard on that thin thread today. I’m scared of what I might do if I see her again while our moment in the shower is still pulsing through my veins.

I keep busy for the rest of the day, only taking a short break for dinner, and I go back to doing work that’s not even mine, just to avoid doing something stupid.

I need to get out of my head the feeling of her soft belly against my lips, her barely dressed body and that little moan that almost made me lose control.

I close my eyes, dropping the last load of hay in the stable.

Fuck.

I almost tasted her, for one damn second I was right there, about to have her flavor on my tongue.

I run my hands over my jaw, frustrated by the way this whole situation is pulling me in every direction. But again, without the strength to stay away, and with nothing else left to do tonight, I head straight to her cabin.

It’s already late, later than the time I usually come, but I know she’s waiting for me when I find the door unlocked.

Everything is dark, except for the moonlight coming in through the window. But unlike other nights when Lia lifts the sheet for me to crawl in with her, tonight she’s completely asleep on the mattress, curled up on my side of the bed, with her face buried in my side of the pillow… as if she needed my scent to fall asleep.

I swallow, staring at her in silence.

She’s still wearing my shirt and I wonder if, when Autumn came, she answered the door like that, in my shirt, not caring what anyone might think.

As if she were mine.

The sheet is bunched at her feet, revealing her beautiful silhouette. My shirt is long enough to cover her, but right now it’s hiked up over her thighs, giving me a full view of her bare legs and the pretty curve of her ass almost winking at me from the way I can practically see the crease of her center.

I clench my jaw, unable to take my eyes off that little triangle and the exposed, soft skin that…

Fuck.

Breathing hard, I take off my boots and kneel at either side of her. I move up her body until I catch the hem of my shirt in my fingers. And, with my lips at her temple, I say, "Good night, babe."

I tug the fabric down, covering her skin, then drop down beside her in bed. I wrap my body around hers from behind, satisfied when she entwines our hands over her belly. She’s so warm, it feels like coming home.

"Becket…"

I smile, closing my eyes as she murmurs my name in her sleep.

And not knowing how much longer I’ll be able to resist, I pull her closer to me and fall asleep.

[2/2]