Love Faces Off

Chapter 15

The week passed quickly. Raegan and Nick had played it professional on game days and spent the days off cuddled up on the couch. They only left the room enough to keep people from talking. Never at the same time and only at times where they were sure to be seen. Having the families near gave the guys an extra push on the ice. They took the series and clinched a playoff birth. On the final night in town, Mr. Kwatski rented out the hotel bar and had a celebration for all staff and players. It was the last place Nick and Raegan wanted to be. Their last night together before returning to Tampa tomorrow, and reality. They both had avoided talking about what Saturday would hold. Here they were in the same room together but apart. Raegan watched as one of the waitresses flirted shamelessly with Nick. Raegan was close enough to hear the little tart offer to keep him company if he got lonely tonight and slip a piece of paper into his pocket. Nick laughed, took the paper out of his pocket and gave it back to her. He told her he would not need her company. Part of Raegan was relieved. The other part wanted to snatch the tart by the hair of her head.

Pete whispered in her ear, “You need to practice your poker face. If looks could kill.”

Raegan turn to look at him, “Does that happen a lot?”

“You want me to say no, but there are puck bunnies in every city. And plenty of players enjoy their company. I have and I’m sure Nick has in the past.”Pete could tell that didn’t comfort her at all, “But the daggers he is shooting my way for talking to you, tells me he has no intention to ever entertain one again.”

Raegan turned to look and Nick was starring at them. She seen the love and jealousy on his face. She gave him a smile and that softened his face as he turned to talk with some of the players near him.

“Have you guys decided how this is going to work after tonight?”

Raegan shook her head no, “We have avoided the conversation.”

“You love him, don’t you?” Pete already knew the answer but needed to hear her say it.

“Yes.” Raegan eyes got teary, “I haven’t told him but I’m going to turn in my resignation on Monday. If I can resign without incident then I might be able to get a good recommendation and find another team to take me.”

“If he loves you he won’t let you do that.”

“And now you know why I haven’t told him.” She gave a sad chuckle before taking a long drink of her champagne.

Reagan looked at Nick, again. Then said to Pete, “I think I’m going to head up to our room. I’m not feeling very social tonight. Can you let him know for me?”

He gave her a smile, “Sure thing. I’m sure he will follow when he can.”

Raegan set her drink down and glanced at Nick before leaving the bar.

Nick seen something change on Raegan’s face. Almost a sadness settle in. Then he saw her leave the bar. He was about to follow when Pete came up to him.

“Can we talk?”

Nick glanced in Raegan’s direction but nodded. They stepped to the edge of the group trying to gain a little privacy without drawing attention.

Pete took a deep breath, “She said she was heading up and wanted me to tell you. Look, you guys need to talk. She is going to kill me for telling you this. But she is planning to resign on Monday so that you two can still be together.

“I don’t want her to do that.” Nick knew he couldn’t let her do that.

“She doesn’t see any other way.” Pete put his hand on Nick’s shoulder. “You both knew the consequences.”

“What if I retire?” Nick blurted out. “She keeps her job I agree to retire at the end of the season. I’ve been in the league for 8 years. It wouldn’t be unheard of to step away at my age.” He looked to Pete for some kind of confirmation that this was a good plan.

Pete shook his head, “She won’t let you do that any more than you are going to let her resign. There has to be another solution.”

Just then Coach Collson walked up, “Guys, why such a serious look on your face. We are celebrating tonight.” He clapped them both on the back. “In light of the celebration tonight we have pushed wheels up back to 1pm tomorrow. I do think most the families are driving back together. Only a few of us will be making the flight. Given the fact that we only have a short 2 game series to end the season on Tuesday and Wednesday we are going to give everyone the weekend to settle back in at home. No one needs to report until Monday morning.”

Pete and Nick both thanked Coach.It was Friday night, Nick had 2 days to come up with a plan that wouldn’t mean Reagan resigning or him retiring. Nick’s phone buzzed. He excused himself from Pete and Coach to check the message. It was a picture message from Raegan. When he was sure no one could see, he opened it. What he found had him hardening instantly. She was wearing nothing but his sweater lying on the couch in their rooms. Nick answered her with “on my way”. He made his excuses about needing some rest before the flight tomorrow and made his way to the elevator.

When Nick got to the room, Reagan wasn’t on the couch. She was standing at the large floor to ceiling windows looking out over Miami. She still had on his sweater. It swallowed her. He noticed the left sleeve was torn. It dawned on him that is was his sweater from the night he was hurt at the Ranger game. Something in him swelled with pride knowing that she had kept it that night.

He walked up behind her and slide his arms around her. She leaned back into his embrace.

“You know,” he whispered as he nuzzled her ear, “I could get you a sweater that didn’t have rips and blood stains on it.”

Raegan purred, “I wouldn’t love it as much as I love this one. This one was what you were wearing the night it began.”

He chuckled, “I think we technically started something the night before.”

“Maybe, physically, but emotionally up until I saw you take that hit,” she shivered, “I was still believing I could do a one and done. When I saw you fall to the ice, I knew, I didn’t want to admit it , but I knew it was more than that.”

Nick held his breath as he asked, “What are you saying, Angel?”

Did he dare to hope that she wanted to take this further like Pete had told him.

“I guess you know we don’t have to report until Monday.” Nick nodded, so she continued, “I’m going to resign effective with the end of the season. If I get ahead of this then I might get a good recommendation and maybe even help from Mr. Kwatski in finding a position with another team.”

“No.”

Reagan turned to face him, “What to you mean no?”

He saw the worry on her face she thought he was saying no to being with her. He raised his hand to caress her face.

“My sweet, Angel. I’m saying no to you leaving the job you love for me. I’ve thought about it. I have already had 8 years in this league. I turn 30 this year. I think the answer is for me to retire. Go out on top and-”

“You can’t!” She hadn’t meant to yell, but his idea was crazy.”You are hitting your stride and you have so many years left. I can’t let you throw away your NHL career.”

“None of it means anything without you.”

“You will have me. We just won’t work together”

He held her close, “If you are with another team how will our schedules ever meet up? No. I should be the one to leave, not you.”

Raegan knew they wouldn’t settle anything tonight so she kissed him. She tried to pour all the love she had for him into that kiss. He was willing to leave everything he had worked for to be with her. When she finally broke the kiss she said, “Nick Bell, I love you.”

Emotion made his voice crack, “I love you too, Raegan Moore.”

They spent the rest of the night making love like it was their last night on earth. In the back of their minds perhaps they knew it might be. They hadn’t really solved anything with their talk.

Raegan eased out of bed around 5:30am. Nick never stirred. She new he would sleep late this morning. He had played a full game and then spent the night loving her. She was relieved that he hadn’t noticed last night her bags already packed. When she had sent Nick the text to entice him to leave the party, she had received a message from Pete. He told her of Nick’s plans to retire. She couldn’t let that happen. She has been awake most the night trying to come up with a solution that let them keep their jobs and stay together. She hadn’t found a single way for that to happen. So as a tear fell from her eyes she finished the note she was leaving Nick. She knew he would never agree to her plan face to face. This was the only option she had.

She placed the note on her pillow. She decide to dare one final kiss to Nick’s cheek. He stirred a little.

Raegan touched his cheek, “shhhh, my love. Sleep on I’m going to go get us some breakfast.”

He moaned and went back to sleep. Raegan quietly left the room.

In the lobby the manger greeted her. “Ms. Moore, I didn’t expect to see someone stirring at this hour given the late flight time.”

“Yes, most the team will not be down for some time. I got notice of something in Tampa that needs my immediate attention so I’m taking a commercial flight out this morning. Is it possible to get a car or cab to take me to the airport?”

“Yes, ma’am. I will have one come around for you.”

Within minutes Raegan was pulling away from the hotel and the love of her life.

Sunlight streamed in on Nick’s face waking him from his sleep. He was instantly aware that the bed was cold beside him. While he missed having Raegan’s warm body next to his, he was glad she let him sleep in. He was sure she was probably getting their coffees ready. He laid there for a few minutes and realized there was no noise coming from the kitchen area.

Nick called out, “Raegan?”

No answer. He got out of bed and threw on some shorts before walking into the rest of the suite. He called out again, still no answer. As he walked back into the bedroom, he realized all her things were gone. There was no trace she had ever been there. That is when he noticed the envelope on her pillow. Nick had a very sinking feeling about what he was going to find written in the note. Sitting on the edge of the bed, tears flowed from his eyes as he read the words she left for him.

My Greek God,

These past two weeks with you

have been Heaven. I cannot find the

words to explain how special our time has been. I will be forever grateful to

have been loved by you. It is because of the love you have given me and the love I feel for you that I cannot allow you to throw away your career in the NHL. You are destined for such greatness and

have worked to hard to throw it all away for me. I know now that you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if I ended my career for you. Something I would gladly give up to be with you. There is no solution that would give us

everything we want.

The only course of action I’m left with is to ask that we not see each

other any more. I don’t know how I will manage a single minute without you in my life. Just writing the words has me in unbearable pain. But I think we both

know it is the only way. These next few months will be the hardest seeing you nearly every day professionally and only being able to love you from a distance. I don’t know how that will work but we have to make it work.

If either of us left the careers that

defined us for so long I am afraid

bitterness and resentment would tear us apart. Perhaps this way, in time you can look on our time together with

fondness.

Nick, you are my one and only, there will never be another. But I ask you to try to find someone else. As much as that will kill me, I only want you to be happy and you deserve so much more than I can give you.

Love Always,

R

Pain overwhelmed Nick. He screamed in real agony. She had found him not worth fighting for. She had left like all the others. He crumpled the note and threw it down and then he sobbed.

An hour later he was packed and in the lobby waiting to board the team bus. The note Raegan had left in his pocket. Once he had pulled himself together he had begun to formulate a plan. He was outside waiting on the sidewalk away from the others. Everything about his stance told people to back off. Of course the Cap was not deterred.

Pete looked around, “Where is Raegan? She isn’t answering my text and we are about to load.”

Nick didn’t say anything just handed him the crumpled letter. Pete’s face fell.

He looked at Nick, “Oh, man, I was worried she go extreme. So what are you going to do.”

“Get her back and YOU are going to help me.”

When Raegan landed she hesitated to turn her phone back on. She new what would be awaiting her. But it had to be done. Bing. 10 new messages. 5 from Pete, 4 from Carla and 1 from Nick. She just stared. One message, but she new that one message was heavier than all the others. She opened his first. Pull the bandaid off, get it over with

I love you, but you are wrong. Without you in my life nothing matters.

Not Hockey, nothing. This isn’t over yet. I am here. You’re safe with me.

The tears started again. She didn’t know what she expected but this was to much.

She read through the other messages. Pete was wondering where she was. Then he must have found out when and why she left. His last message was more than she could take

I’m here if you need a friend. Nick looks like hell. He loves you.

Just kick a girl when she was down. But she knew this was the only way. She couldn’t live knowing she was the reason he gave up hockey.

She switched to Carla’s messages. Those seemed safer for her heart. At first she was wanting to know when Raegan was getting in. Then she said they were leaving for Atlanta tomorrow. She had decided to take the FBI deal she wanted Reagan to call her as soon as she could. As Raegan walked to the cab waiting at curb she sent Carla messaged letting her know she just landed she was taking a cab and would be home in about an hour. She sent Pete a message ‘it is the only way’. The one to Nick was shorter. ‘I’m sorry’ was all she could say. No reply came from either. But they were probably on the plane.

When she arrived home she and Carla had a long talk. Carla and Riley would head back to Atlanta tomorrow. The FBI was going to put them up in witness housing and cover the costs. They would be gone for a few months, by the time she finished her deposition and finalized the divorce.

“What then?” Raegan asked, “Are you staying there? You are welcome to come back here. Start over in a new city.”

“There really is nothing for us in Atlanta. Plus from what I hear the press has been all over this case. I would really like to get out of that atmosphere. But I don’t want to be a burden to you. I have no other family…” Carla’s voice trailed off.

“You are not a burden. As you’ve seen I have long stretches of not even being home. I’m not exactly sure why I bought such a big condo. I want you to come back. I want to help you get back on your feet. This won’t be forever. You will bounce back very quickly.”

Carla looked relieved, “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

They hugged and sat in comfortable silence.

“So when can we expect to see Nick Bell come around. Do we need to work out a signaling system for the door?” Carla said playfully with a wink.

Raegan burst into tears. Carla instantly put her arm around her. Raegan let it all come out. How she loved him but couldn’t let him end his career just to be with her.

Carla gave her another tissue and asked, “Since this rule was put in place because of what happened to you. Do you think there is any way they might allow an exception?”

“I don’t know. This unwritten rule has been quoted so much in the last 4 years people think it is written in stone.”

“You love him so much. I can see it. You sure you don’t want to try for a different option?”

Raegan began pacing the room. “Wanting isn’t the problem. To even bring it up to see if the rule would be enforced would mean running the risk of dismissal.”

Carla drop the subject and give Raegan some space on it.

Sunday morning Raegan drove Carla and Riley to the airport. Hugs, tears, and promises to speak soon were given. Raegan decided to go to her favorite Sunday morning coffee spot. It was a locally owned coffee house called Stir. She walked in and froze. Standing at the counter ordering was Nick. She was about to turn and walk away when the cashier saw her and waved. This caused Nick to turn and look at her. The heat sizzled between the two. He didn’t seem surprised to see her at all. He turned back to the cashier to take his two coffees and food bags. Raegan instantly wondered who he was buying coffee for. Nick walked toward her. He handed her a bag and a coffee. He never said a word, just gave her the stuff and left. She just stood there staring after him. She eventually found her a corner table. When she looked at her cup it had the name Angel written on it.

She opened the bag. Her favorite. Blueberry scones and a note.

I love you. I miss you. Come back to me, Angel.

He was not going to make this easy. Raegan opened up her laptop as she slowly ate her gift. She had sat there for 20 minutes and realized that she hadn’t read the first email. She couldn’t concentrate. All she could think about was Nick and how lonely she was without him.

She ran a few errands and tried her best to have a normal Sunday. But her thoughts kept going back to Nick’s note. Come back to me. Did she dare?

As she entered the lobby of her building the doorman spoke to her.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Moore. Did you hear the news?”

“Hello, Daniel. What news?”

“The vacant unit next to yours sold today. A nice gentleman came in and viewed it this morning. He loved it so much he bought it on the spot!”

“That is great news”. She had a very uneasy feeling.

Daniel continued, “He wants to close as soon as possible. He should be moving in the next couple weeks.”

Raegan tried to match his excitement but couldn’t, “I can’t wait to meet my new neighbor.” Raegan had a sinking feeling she already new who it was.

Later that night. She received a text from Nick.

do you miss me yet?

yes

have you changed your

mind?

No. did you buy the

condo next to mine?

no. I didn’t know it

was available. Do you

want to know where I am living?

No

Don’t trust yourself?

yes.