Warm

I grew up not knowing what it is like to be loved. My mother looked at me coldly like I was just a stranger grabbed on the street. My father and my siblings a***e me physically. for them, I am just like a servant doing all the chores and a punching bag to take my anger off. I have never been good. The poor treatment I receive daily gets beat up, teased, and bullied everywhere as if I were living in hell. The whole school despises me, making rumors, gossiping, and hate treads toward me. At the same time, I pretend not to know. I didn't do anything. What's wrong with me? Why do they hate me? Therefore, I lived my whole life not knowing what it felt like to be loved and cared for. I grew numb to pain. I become a toy who neglects everything inside, a pathetic emotionless bastard. I remain the same until the end of my life, a stoic. Everyone wanted me out of their life like I was trash ready to be thrown out any moment. So What's the point of being alive? When I was alive, I did everything. I did my best, and I did well in my studies. I am smart. I'm excellent in everything I put effort into. I was never interested in any illegal. I want to be someone with a purpose I can be proud of someday. I died anyway Am useless to them, so what's the point? The night I died was the best thing for them. The useless family member is gone, and someone from school everyone hated is now lifeless. I died awfully. After countless beatings from the school bullies, I came home and bumped into my dad. Seeing me made him furious he beat me up, kicked, and punched me. The pain is unbearable. Even though I grew up with his beatings, it still hurts. I did everything to escape his thumping and smacking, and I succeeded. I was running barefoot out of that place. It was raining I didn't even care. I just ran for my life. And there it happened. I was crossing the road and didn't notice the truck was rushing my way. That same night, I was drenched in my own blood, lying on the streets surrounded by people. I was hit by that truck, and no one dared to help. They just stared and did nothing. I was there in the middle of the road, enjoying the night sky while my body started to feel cold blood flowing out of my body.  It was like a movie flashing in my mind at that last moment. It was me. My childhood memory is playing like a movie. Tears fall from my eyes as I cry and pity myself. I really lived a miserable life. Raindrops keep hitting me as my life fades away. If reincarnation is real, I hope in my next life can I live peacefully? And loved? I think it is impossible. Haha Finally, death came upon me as I slowly closed my eyes I felt my eyes open. I'm alive? But I feel the emptiness inside. I wandered my eyes, yet I didn't see anything. It's dark. Am I blind? Where am I? "Diam, you're awake, thank God," a woman's voice resounds in nothingness. She pushed a button beside my bed as she tightened her arms around me while a river of tears fell out of her eyes. After a minute, a group of doctors rushed towards the room where that woman and I were, giving me a check-up. I was still sketchy about what happened but  I am certain that I didn't know who is this woman was. "Mrs. Chua, your son, is now stable, but your son developed Retrograde Amnesia, meaning he can't recall memories that were formed before the event that caused the amnesia. It usually affects recently stored memories, not memories from years ago. With retrograde amnesia, memory loss usually involves facts rather than skills. For example, he might forget whether he owns a car, what type it is, and when they bought it — but they will still know how to drive. This might be temporary, or worse, it might be permanent. Ma’am, I suggest you tell him what your relationship he might not recognize; that's why he doesn't react to you at all," the doctor told the woman as he explained and excused himself. So I am his son, and my name was Diam Chua. How did this happen? What happened to this person? Why I am at his body? There are too many questions running through my mind how do I tell her I am not her son.