THE BLACK CULTIVATOR

The last thing Chris remembered was arguing heatedly with a danfo driver over incomplete change. “Oga, why my change no complete?!” Chris gripped the driver’s collar tightly. [“Boss, why isn’t my change complete?!”] “No be me tell you say transport na two thousand naira? Now you dey argue with me!” The driver fired back angrily, his own hand locked firmly on Chris’s trouser. [“Didn’t I tell you the fare is two thousand naira? Now you’re arguing with me!”] The Lagos sun beat down mercilessly on the chaotic scene. “This man, you sabi lie o! You talk say na one thousand five hundred…” [“This man, you know how to lie! You said it was one thousand five hundred…”] “Pum-pum-pumm!” A massive trailer suddenly lost control while reversing and slammed violently into both of them. --- Chris groaned in pain. His eyes slowly opened. *Where am I?* He pushed himself up into a sitting position. *Why everywhere fine? [Why does everywhere look so nice/good?] I been dey trailer park — bus stop, minutes ago, right? [I was at the trailer park — bus stop, just minutes ago, right?] Why green grass come cover everywhere?* [Why has green grass suddenly covered everywhere?] “Welcome to the land of the dead, Chris.” A lady in a short, figure-hugging red gown casually manifested before him. The fabric clung to her curves like it was painted on, accentuating every alluring line of her body. “You died a few minutes ago,” she said calmly, standing a few feet away from him. “Ehn — you say wetin?!” Chris sprang to his feet, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. “You dey joke, abi?” (“What — what did you say?!” … “You’re joking, right?”) To put it plainly, Chris, your foolish argument over a little money brought you here. “Snap.” She snapped her fingers sharply. An office desk complete with a computer system materialized out of thin air. The lady walked over gracefully and took a seat behind it. “No be lie! My mama been warn me oh, she talk am say one day — change go kill me.” E don finally happen. Chris shook his head slowly, his eyes pinned to the ground in disbelief. (“It’s not a lie! My mother warned me, she said one day — change will kill me.” It has finally happened.) “Don’t feel sad, Chris,” she said, pulling out a long dusty book from the drawer. “According to God’s plan, it wasn’t yet your time.” Chris laughed softly, a mix of disbelief and irony in his voice. “Naija dey follow God’s plan?” (“Does nigeria follows God’s plan?”) Yes, Chris. It was pride and greed that caused you to lose your life. She opened the book, and a small cloud of dust escaped into the air around them. “So I make heaven or after all the suffer for Naija, na hellfire I dey go?” Chris approached the desk cautiously. (“So will I make heaven or, after all the suffering in Nigeria, is it hellfire I’m going to?”) What you have heard about heaven and hell — some of it is wrong. You’re not facing judgement right now. Rather, you’re going to be reborn in another world. “Wait. You mean am fine woman?” A bright smile suddenly lit up Chris’s face. [“Wait. Do you mean it beautiful woman?”) She nodded. “In a few minutes you are going to wake up in a world totally different from your old one. It’s a world of cultivation.” Her eyes finally met Chris’s directly. “Cultivation? Na farming I dey do for another world?” Chris sighed deeply. “So I go reborn again to still begin my suffer from beginning. Chaii.” Nothing balance anywhere. (“Cultivation? So I’m going to be farming in another world?” … “So I’ll be reborn just to start suffering all over again. Chaii.”) “It’s not farming, i***t. It’s almost the same as those Chinese anime you enjoy watching — *Swallowed Star*, *A Will Eternal*.” She answered, tearing out a piece of paper from the book. “SHARP!” Everywhere good! Chris chuckled excitedly. “E go hard oh, but I go become god for that world so that anything I want, I fit do am.” (“SHARP!” That’s perfect! … “It will be tough, but I’ll become a god in that world so I can do whatever I want.”) Well, I don’t doubt that. “Nigerians are hard workers,” and over time have proven to be smart and resourceful in many ways. Still, this is no longer your world. To help you survive your arrival, a system will be granted to you until you reach the Half-Body Immortal Realm. She stood up and closed the distance between them. *Omo, jokes aside. This lady get yansh oh. See beauty. See breast. Chaii.* (“Damn, jokes aside. This lady has a nice ass. See beauty. See breasts. Chaii.”) Chris, a warm smile lit up her face. “Yeah, what’s up?” He returned the smile playfully. “I can hear your thoughts,” her smile disappeared instantly. “Na bad thing I talk? You no get yansh? You no get breast? You no fine?” Chris met her gaze head-on without flinching. (“Did I say anything bad? You don’t have an ass? You don’t have breasts? You’re not fine?”) This is the first and last time we meet. Thank you for the compliment. Her expression remained calm and normal. “Okay, so how am I going to get to this new world? Where will I follow?” Chris glanced around curiously. “You’re funny, Chris.” “Snap.” Chris’s body shattered instantly like raindrops scattering in the wind. *Everywhere is getting dark again. My new world.* *I vow to become a god. “I don too suffer.”* (I have suffered too much.) --- Chris reincarnated into the body of Li Yan — an outer sect disciple of the Lion Clan who had just died from exhaustion after being framed and chased into Void Mountain by his seniors. Chris gasped violently as he regained consciousness. Sweat formed rapidly on his face. His eyes snapped open. Sand covered most of his body. He pushed himself up and shook the red sand off his face and clothes. The sky was bluer than anything he had ever seen on Earth. Two suns shone brightly overhead, casting a warm, otherworldly glow across the landscape. “Finally, naija boy don land for cultivation world oh!” (“Finally, a Naija boy has landed in a cultivation world!”) Chris stood to his feet and took his first tentative step in his new body. “Ahhh!” Chris screamed suddenly, both hands clutching his head in agony. Li Yan’s memories crashed violently into his own like a danfo bus in Lagos traffic — waves of pain, betrayal, hunger, and deep-seated fear flooded his mind. He dropped to one knee, sweat cutting clean lines through the red sand still clinging to his face. The intense pain lasted for several long minutes. “Person just arrived, una wan use headache kill am.” Chris returned to his feet, breathing heavily. (“I just arrived and you people want to kill me with a headache.”) This body belonged to an orphan. *Li Yan.* *This boy suffered a lot, but no worries guy — I will one day punish those who did this to you.* Just then, a dark, sleek system interface appeared before his eyes. [Supreme Hustle African System Activated!] [Reincarnation Successful!] [Host: Chris — Special Talent Detected] [Special Talent: Nigerian Heritage Activated!] [Special Traits: Undying Courage (Extreme), 5x Recovery & Breakthrough Speed, Rhythmic Combat Intuition] [Main Quest: Become a god over this world. No time limit. Failure: None (You will never give up no matter what)] “This is clean s**t!” Listen well system, I just don’t want to survive — Chris clenched his fists tightly with determination. I want to become a god above all gods and nothing go stop me. (nothing will stop me.) [Quest Accepted] [Reward: Undying Courage boosted. All future breakthroughs will be faster and more powerful when driven by willpower.]