INTERLUDE: BLOOD SISTER
1696 Words
[Twelve years ago...]
SULIANA walked Gon out of the door and looked at him as he was walking with his shoulders slumped, the sky above orange with the sun’s departure. Suliana stood there at the door frame, bit her lip to keep herself from calling him, and for saying that she lied. She stood there until she couldn’t see him anymore.
Suliana closed the door. She turned back and she saw his father standing in the living room, looking at her. The reddish glow of the sun went through the window and almost clothed her father with its light.
“Amira…”
“I lied,” Suliana said in a broken voice. “I lied, akir.”
He didn’t even ask for an explanation. He just motioned her to come and she did. She hugged him tightly and he did so, too. Suliana buried her face to his chest and she felt small and protected from the mistake she just committed.
***
TWO days later, Suliana tried to appear as if everything was the same. She didn’t see Camia and Gon, but it was probably for the better.
One afternoon, Suliana walked around the market with a basket in one hand to buy food. She was looking at the row of vegetable stalls when someone held her arm. She turned her head and she saw Camia.
Camia was frowning at her; an unlit cigarette was dangling at the edge of her mouth. Her hair, which was always on a bun was now hanging loosely like gray waves. Her grip was so hard it was as if she wanted to leave a mark.
“Can we talk?” Camia said with irritation in her voice.
Suliana looked away and nodded. She then pulled her away from the market without saying anything. They walked and walked until they reach the woods. The moon was already sailing in the gray sky then.
Camia still didn’t say anything. She leaned on one of the trees, struck a match on the trunk then covered the flame with her cupped hand as she lit the tip of the cigarette. Camia shook the match to put the fire out. She huffed the cigarette while looking at her, then blew the mist-like smoke on her face.
“Are you really my friend?” she said.
Suliana didn’t know what to say. She just stared at Camia.
“Look at me like you’re an innocent lamb and I’ll punch your face,” Camia said.
“I’m sorry…” Suliana said,
“I don’t get it,” Camia said. “You know how I discovered what you did?” Camia puffed from the cigarette again. She blew the smoke on her direction once more then licked her lips. “Gon’s amir told me. I went to Gon’s house and his amir told me that he is too upset to see me. I asked why. She said she can’t tell. She said his son made her swore not to tell. Of course, that wouldn’t stop me for I am such a persistent asshole. Eventually, in whispers, she told me. She told me that Gon has feelings for me, and he was about to confess…” Camia’s voice was a tiny bit higher now. “But apparently… apparently my friend, my girl friend who I have trusted the most… told Gon…” Camia’s voice suddenly broke, and it now sounded hurt. “…told Gon that I have feelings for someone else.”
Suliana hands that were gripping the basket handle were shaking. “I’m sorry.”
Camia puffed once more from the cigarette before speaking. “Why, Suliana? Why did you lie? I’m sure when I told you that I was beginning to like a boy, you knew it was Gon. I’m sure I didn’t have to say it out loud. So I think you knew that if Gon confessed…” Camia shook her head. “So why? Do you think we’ll exclude you? Is that it?”
Suliana shook her head, too. “No. No, Camia, it’s not like that.”
Camia ignored her reply. “Do you think that if Gon and I got together, we’ll not be the same anymore? That we’d always want to be alone, that we would keep you out of our plans--”
“I love him,” Suliana blurted out.
Camia was suddenly silent. The monotonous sounds of crickets were heard. A dog howled nearby. The dark night was colder and suddenly darker as if it also wanted to hide Suliana’s shame with its cloak.
Camia put out her half-finished cigarette by stepping on it. She looked at her and sighed. “Love?”
Suliana nodded. “Remember when you asked me if there’s a boy that makes me ache and swoon just by staring at him? I said none, but I lied. Every time I look at Gon, my arms will ache with the desire to hug him. My lips would tingle with the longing to feel his lips against mine. Maybe I’d sacrifice a lot just to be given the chance.”
The hardness on Camia’s expression was suddenly gone. Her friend now looked at her with concern.
“I always want to rest my weary heart on his arms, yet I couldn’t,” Suliana continued. “You want to know why? Because I know he likes you. I know it, I feel it, I recognize it. The way he is to you… it’s what I am like to him. Every day I think of him and every day I die a little knowing he’s thinking of you.”
Suliana started to cry. Tears fell from her face like shooting stars. “And I know that it’s not an excuse. And I know that I am still a b***h. That I am selfish and I only cared about how I would feel and I’m sorry, Camia, I’m sorry.” She wiped the tears on her face to no avail. “I… I can fix everything. I’d talk to Gon. I will tell him I lied. I will tell him the truth. And it’s okay if you no longer want to talk to me… I will understand that. But please, give me a chance to get this right. I’m sorry Camia. I am sorry, please forgive me…”
Camia rolled her eyes. A tear also fell from her left eye and she wiped that instantly. “I hate when people cry. Makes me feel like a stoic b***h. And I hate seeing my friends cry. So stop crying and stop babbling, too,” she said. Camia then spread her arms and told her, “Come here.”
Suliana went to her and Camia hugged her tight. She sobbed on her chest. She can still smell cigarette smoke on her. It was oddly comforting. Camia felt like warm nights, that sweet spot in front of the fireplace whenever the sky wept ice outside. Suliana kept hugging her.
Until she heard Camia laugh and said, “You don’t have to tell Gon anything.”
She let go of the hug and looked at Camia. “What?”
Camia looked at her with a genuine smile. Camia tucked strands of Suliana’s hair behind her ear. “I don’t love Gon as much as you do. I like the way he makes me feel but… not enough to sacrifice my friendship with you.”
“But… but what about Gon? He likes you and he’d be happy if you became his girlfriend--”
“Oh he might get happy at first but I know myself,” Camia said with a chuckle. “I’d make the life of my boyfriend a living hell, that’s for sure.”
Suliana still couldn’t say anything. She still thought it would do Gon better if she told the truth.
“And besides… he’d be sad, too, if we have to lose you just to be together.”
“No, he won’t be sad--”
“He will,” Camia said. “He will be sad, Suliana. And believe me, he’d get over this in a few days, weeks tops. Romantic love isn’t the only thing that can make a person happy.”
Suliana blinked. In romance novels, it was implied that romantic love is everything. It even ended wars as often as it started them. She guessed it’s stupid, but it feels beautiful and poetic for her to slightly believe on it.
“What else makes people happy?” Suliana said.
Camia smiled. “Other forms of love… like friendship.” Camia grabbed her hands and squeezed. The empty basket dropped on the ground. “And purpose. Purpose can make people happy.”
Suliana smiled, too. She looked at their clasped hands, and then she looked at Camia’s eyes again. “Are you really sure? Because I offered not to stand in the way of your happiness--”
“Didn’t you listen?” Camia said with a raised eyebrow. “Kinda dumb, huh? Gon and I will still be happy even if we’re not together. And there’s a saying… whores before misters.”
Suliana laughed. “I’m pretty sure it’s ‘sisters before misters.’”
“Yeah, that’s it.” Camia squeezed her hands again. “That’s it, my sister. Not by blood, but... dang it, you feel like my blood sister just the same.”
- Writer
