#54
517 Words
I think, he must have moved on. I do not want this to happen, but what do? Nothing is in my hand. I cannot control his life.
I have felt that. I have felt that feeling. It was mutual. He was also feeling that. It was not only me who was going through that. I felt that he was also going through it. He was also having that heebie-jeebies in his stomach. I was not at all alone.
But if things were like this then why did he leave me?
He left me shattered. I cannot live without him. I cannot survive without him. I cannot believe that this actuary; y took place. How did things change?
Things were very different before, but all of a sudden things have changed. Why did things go this way? I want things to run back. I want him back in my life.
But I know nothing is going to happen.
My first love is going to be incomplete only. My love will not be complete.
I want him to be back in my life. But I know, he will never be back. He is not going to come back. He will not come. I wish I could change my destiny.
I will never forget the beauty I saw when I first set eyes on you, Arnav. I never tired of telling you how handsome you were (often to your intense irritation). You were ambitious; it was infectious. You made me promises I never imagined you wouldn’t keep.
Life was exciting. We enjoyed nights out, exotic holidays, I felt loved and wanted. We were not married but did that. Doing s*x with you was not a problem. It was our mutual decision. After I gave everything to you, then also why?
Then everything changed. I soon realized that I wasn’t your priority and never would be.
All those promises were fake, whatever he said was fake.
It was foolish of me to consider his words.
Why did I trust him?
Why?
I so wish, I would not have trusted him.
I wanted not trust him initially. But gradually the faith was build.
Was the faith build to be broken?
I am Shattered now just because of him.
Being broken in this condition was never my choice. But I opted to consider this as my faith.
I so wish I would not have done that.
Spending hours and hours with him, and nights and nights, I did not have problem. I trusted him. But he cheated me
For once also he should have thought about me.
But never did he think about me.
He was so shameless and spoilt brat, I never knew.
I so wish I had that clue.
But I did not have.
Always I had heard that love is blind.
But now I feel that.
Even after so much of happening, I still yearn for him.
I am so foolish. Why do I do so.
I know I am not suppose to, but I still love you Arnav.
I love you darling.
But I am not suppose to further.
- Writer
