Mistakes We Made

Chapter Five - Kade

The call came shortly after 6am. I had just got dressed and was about to make my way downstairs, when the phone rang. My mother was on the other end sobbing uncontrollably. At first, I was in shock, I couldn't believe that it was true. This was the kind of stuff that happened to other people, not to me. But when that wore off, rage set in. I threw my cell phone at the mirror in the front hallway and shattered them both. I kicked the banister, which didn't help in the slightest, it only made my foot hurt. I cussed and yelled and paced the floor, my shoes made a crunching sound on the broken glass as it scrapped against the hardwood floors, but I couldn't bring myself to care. My brother was dead.

I finally slumped to the floor, my back leaning on the wall, amdists the millions of mirror fragments and I cried. I just sat there in my khaki pants and button down and cried like a baby, while praying for miracle. I promised God that I'd be a better brother, that I'd go to church more, that I would do anything He wanted, if I could just keep my brother.

I don't know how long I sat there or how long I cried. I didn't have the will to move. I couldn't wrap my head around it all. The morning had started off just like every other. It was an ordinary day and then, bam, just like that, it turned into the worst day of my life. All it took was a phone call and a few simple words. I didn't know what to do. I'd never felt so lost before. I'm a problem solver, a protector. I always bailed Jace out of everything, I fixed all of his problems because that's what big brothers do. But this was one time that I wouldn't be able to help him. I couldn't undo his last mistake and that made me feel helpless.

Ella is the one who found me. I don't know how she knew, if someone called her or If she heard it on the news, I didn't care to ask. But, I was thankful she showed up. I didn't want to be alone. She let herself in with the spare key I hid on the back porch and joined me on the hallway floor, though she didn't sit too close, probably out of fear for the glass shards. She was quiet for a while, I guess she understood that there was nothing she could say that would make me feel even remotely better.

“Do you want to go see your parents?” She asked, finally breaking the silence.

Truth be told, I didn't want to move. I didn't want to do anything. All I wanted was to wake up from what I hoped was a bad dream. But deep down, I knew. It wasn't a dream, Jace was gone and my parents were hurting just like I was. They needed me. I had to pull it together. I nodded to Ella, as I wiped away the excess tears and forced myself to suck it up. She stood up and offered me her hand so that she could help pull me up. She brushed off my clothes and ran her fingers through my hair, combing it to the side. She gave me a small smile as she laced her fingers through my own.

“Come on, I'll drive,” She offered, leading me towards the staircase.

******

My parent's house was eerily quiet, despite the fact that there was already a handful of people there. No one made a sound when Ella and I stepped inside. My fiancee took a seat in the corner, doing her best to blend in so that I could be with my family. My maternal grandmother pulled me into a bone crushing hug as I passed her by, her frail body clinging to me. She kissed my cheek before letting go, so that I could go to my parents.

Mama was sitting on the couch, hunched over. Her elbows were pressed into her knees and her face was covered by her hands. I could tell by the way her body trembled that she was crying. She probably hadn't stopped since she heard. My dad was sitting next to her, leaning close so that he could talk to her, while comfortingly running her back. His own face was tear streaked, the pain he felt was evident, but he was trying to keep it together for her.

I kneeled down on the floor in front of her and gently rested a hand on her shoulder, “Hey mama,”

She looked up long enough to throw her arms around my neck and pull me to her. She buried her face in my shirt as she continued to sob. She held on so tightly that I was worried she would cut off my airway, but I just sat there and let her cry. I hated that I couldn't do anything to help her. Jace was her baby, a Mama's boy to the core, and he was taken from her too soon. I didn't know if she would ever recover from losing him.

My dad laid a hand on my shoulder, his eyes watery, but he refused to cry. Not when we had relatives in the house and certainly not when Mama was in such an emotional state. But I could see that this was killing him too. Even though he and Jace didn't see eye to eye on much, I knew that the reason Dad was hard on Jace because he loved him. He wanted Jace to make the right choices and to be a good man.

“Melissa, why don't I take you to lie down,” My aunt, Margaret, suggested.

“Come on, Mama,” I whispered, “You should go rest.”

She leaned back and allowed my aunt and grandmother to help her up. Her eyes were swollen, her face was red and splotchy, she looked so different from the cheeful, upbeat lady that I was accustom to. I watched as they led her away and I prayed that sleep would offer her some sort of relief from the pain. I moved onto the couch to sit next to my dad and released a heavy sigh.

“What do we do now, Dad?” I asked.

“There's only one thing we can do. We have to plan a funeral.”