Sugar Coated Limits

───────── ? ───────── KEITH Sat on the family dining table with mostly all my relatives reunited for a moment dinner dinner but it became a catastrophic moment when my sister revealed me and suddenly all the walls around me come crashing down little by little, seconds by seconds. And piercing looks lead their eyes to me at the mention of "Our sweetest Keith Henning is actually gay?" In theses type of situations what should I answer? Posing the fork and the knife down I lift my face to lead it to my parents, as I was expecting, their faces show pure disgust. In the Henning family being part of the l***q+ means you're a disgrace, a disappointment, a failure, a deteriorate and many others. I knew from a very young age that being homosexual would lead me out of this family but, I first thought I'll come out by myself but no, my beloved sister, consuming by rage, jealousy and envy. My sister became the one who'll cause my disown in this family. "Is it true Keith Melbourne Henning?" Asked my mother, Fallon Henning, a fierce woman, with piercing eyes, who's always dressed up in high luxury clothes and see people as some type of nuisance. "Yes, Mother" I know I'm giving in to the lion mouth but what else can I do? "You, disappointment s**t" that's my father or should I say sperm donator, who just talked. My whole body is covered of hematoma caused by him, when he's raging, he hits me, when he gets into a fight with my mother he hit me, in conclusion I'm a toy to be beaten. In a fraction of a second all the people around the table started talking about my s****l orientation and it was the same thing. I didn't know what to says, what to do, and how to react, my coming out wasn't going to be so soon and it was unexpected. I pulled off of my mind by my father "Stop this nonsense, tomorrow you'll meet up with Vera for a wedding affair, let's just forget about you being a fag and enjoy this family dinner" So they think that all of this is nonsense, that's what I am in their eyes, a pathetic boy telling nonsense. I want to talk back but the knot in my throat is not letting any type of sound out of my mouth. I have to talk back, I have the right, I'm human, I have feelings too, being gay doesn't mean I'm a failure, a disappointment, I have to talk back, Keith you have to talk back. "I'm not getting engaged with Vera" It'll probably cost me my life but at least I'll die fighting for my rights. "What did you dare to say?" Mumbled my mother "I didn't mumble mother, did I?" Yeah it'll cost me my head for sure. Something suddenly get thrown at my head and shatter on the floor, and it was, a plate... which probably leave me a bruise, causing me to bleed. "How dare you?" Yes, How dare I not talking back longs ago. "Yes, how dare I to speak back, how dare I to be gay, how dare I to be a disappointment but I have the dare, I have the rights and if you don't like that then it's not my problem. I am not getting engaged to Vera" "We'll give you two options, one you'll lower your voice, forget about this theatre number and you'll get married to Vera, two you'll be disowned with no credit card, no car, no house, you'll only stay with you gay statue." But what is so wrong of me preferring Ken over Barbie? Why is it a shame to be who you are? Why cannot they accept me like theses other families who tells they relatives that it's okay, love is love. Why cannot I get this type of treatment, why am I getting this in return. I did everything they wanted, get on first place in everything, getting in Princeton, stopping my pastry shop but it wasn't enough and now they want to disowned me for being myself. "Why cannot I be myself?" In guise of response I get a punch, coming from my father. "I guess you made your choice" And again I get another punch but this time it was more harder than the last time. Falling to the ground didn't stop him of punching my face, getting tired of using his fist after leaving my face unrecognisable, he continue with kicking my belly and to finish this torture, he trample on my wrist while I hold back my tears, and the cries trying to escape my mouth. "You fag, from now you are disowned from the Henning family, don't you dare, came back here, use the things in rapport of the Henning's, including your credit cards, your car, and your apartment. Get lost now, you are nothing than a fag and scumbag. With the little strength I have left, I get off the cold floor, and diriges myself to the front door. Looking back one last time, I get the overview of my sister mischievous grin, my mother's and father's disgust face, my cousins satisfied faces, my grandfather disgust face, my aunts and uncles ashamed faces. I deserve it in the end, don't I? I take my leather unit bag and leave the house I used to leave in, where I grew up between whispers, hurtful words, mistreating, preferences. Outside the mansion I could feel the rain poured on me coldly, but i didn't care about the rain. Walking under it to nowhere, I lost myself under the coldness with my eyes blurred by tears and my clothes wet, touching my mistreated body full of hematoma. Seconds, minutes and maybe hours have passed while I continue to walk under heavy the rain now accompanied of storms. I'm fully ashamed of thinking that in some type a way my cruel family would accept me for who I am truly, for thinking one day I would get the true of love I always dreamed of. Was it so difficult to give me a glimpse of hope and love, it wasn't too much to ask was it? Tired in some type of way, bruised and battered I squatted down on a wall, holding my bag against me has I let out the cries that have been consuming me for years. It only took me 10 minutes for the walk u have build around me to come crashing down while it took me 10 years to build them. All the efforts for what? To end up like this I guess. In the middle of having a panic attack, a shadow fell over me and a strong hand held out a umbrella, offering me refuge under the storms. Smiling with a glimpse of hope, thinking I'm saved under the umbrella of that fierce man, I leave the coldness, the pain take over my body as I let go of everything.