Aa

Perched on the edge of my bed, my legs anxiously bounce as I try not to grab my phone and look at it for the thousandth time in the last half hour. "He'll be here" I tell myself as I start to pick at invisible threads on my dress and try not to puke up my dinner. I can feel my wolf, Aanika start to stir, sensing my distress. "I'm just nervous about tonight, Aanika... I don't need any words of wisdom though, you're wise enough for the both of us.' Speaking through our mind link is like second nature by now. I was unified with Aanika earlier than anticipated, shifting at the age of nine. While there's no ceremony for your first shift given it can happen at any time, most unify by the age of sixteen but I'm the first that they have record or memory of before the age of twelve. 'I'm shocked you haven't shut me out yet so I'll spare you the pep talk. Hopefully our mate eases some of that stubborness out of you.' I scoff at her words, even though there's truth to them. 'I'm not going to shut you out, Aanika. This is your night too. I just.' My breath hitches and I pause. Voicing my fear of abandonment and not being accepted even through mindlink with my own wolf was hard. Aanika breaks the momentary silence. 'I know, Winter.. but no warrior has it easy. Fight that battle when and if it comes.' 'So much for sparing me a pep talk, eh?' She snorts and I can feel her start to retreat. She has an innate ability to know when to give me space and when to push. They say your wolf is an extension of you but I've seen some rather interesting pairings. If I have ever felt lucky about anything, it's my wolf. I take a deep breath and fall back onto my bed. Staring up at my ceiling, I make a silent plea to the Moon Goddess. I've always felt cursed. I wasn't born in my pack and despite being cared for by them, I've always been treated differently by most of them. I've never felt fully accepted and getting my wolf as early as I did only amplified that. If just one thing could go right for me, I hope this was it. Tonight, at exactly midnight, I'd have my bonding ceremony. Every she wolf has this ceremony on their eighteenth birthday. Once referred to as the coming of age ceremony, all shifters from your pack and unmated shifters from surrounding packs gather in a centrally located field around a willow tree aptly named the Tree of Fate. This tree is our link to the Moon Goddess herself. Many shifters have visited for guidance or even prayers. I've even done so but always found myself just standing there staring at it, seemingly in a trance and unable to remember why I came in the first place until I walk away. It's been said that she must find your request worthy or you'll experience this hypnotic state. I'm not at the Tree of Fate but I send up my plea nonetheless. Hopefully I'm not so cursed that I'll also be one of the rare few who doesn't have a mate. Whether they died suddenly or became rogue and left far enough away to not feel the pull of the bond or whatever other reason some shifters never find their mate is. Though, I suppose those circumstances were better than finding your mate years later only to be rejected because they already started a family. That's what happened to Evan. While on a scouting mission for communicated threats of a rogue pack that's known for theft and bloodshed, he came across a neighboring territory and found his mate while she was on patrol with her husband. She rejected him immediately and refused to speak any further on it. He didn't readily accept the rejection, only prolonging both of their pain. I'm pretty confident he did so out of spite until he could no longer take it. He was in recovery for weeks. Our pack is quite large, in the hundreds. Most of our mates are found within our pack and while I can't say I'm fond of very many of them, maybe a mate within my own pack would help me feel less like an outsider and finally secure my place within the pack. I just pray it's not Xaden. Anyone.. literally anyone but Xaden. But also hopefully Asher. Our soon to be Alpha and one of few people I was actually close to. You'd think being friends with him would help with my relationships within the pack but it didn't. If anything, it only made some of them worse. I rush to stand, grabbing my phone off my nightstand. Still nothing from him. I check the time and swallow the lump forming in my throat. It's half past eleven and he's supposed to be here already. As an orphan, I chose Asher to accompany me for my ceremony. He knows my fears and promised me I wouldn't have to do it alone. It would be like walking to the alter alone on your wedding day not knowing if there would be a groom waiting for you or not. Aanika likes to remind me that even if I don't have a chosen mate, I can always form a relationship with another unmated shifter but it's not the same. You'll always be seen as weaker due to the lack of a mate bond and that carries with you onto your future pups. I dial Asher's number and it goes straight to voicemail. "What the f**k, Asher!" No way would he ghost me on one of the most important days of my life. My heart rate starts to tick up and I start typing out a text with trembling thumbs. -You better have been gutted by the infamous rogue pack or you'll wish that you had been if you're late to my bonding ceremony.- I click my phone screen off, throwing it on my bed and start to pace the wooden floors of my bedroom. I don't have the time to wonder why he isn't here nor can I fall into a heap on my floor despite the urge to. I wipe my sweaty palms down the sides of my dress and take one final glance in the mirror. The flowy, floor length emerald green dress mimicks the shade of my eyes and stands out against my pale, creamy skin. The neckline dips extremely low, baring most my chest and almost all of my stomach before coming to a vee at my waist. A daring choice but I'm not known to make safe ones. After adjusting a few long, wavy platinum blonde locks of hair, I speed walk out of my bedroom and out through my front door, picking up my pace even further as I get outside. Asher was my ride and even though I'd make it if I shifted and ran the full distance, my whole body is racked with emotions and I start to contemplate turning around and hiding out in my room until my birthday is over. My voice cracks due to the sob lodged in my throat. 'Aanika?' I choke back the cry threatening to escape, finding some kind of resolve. 'I need to shift if we are going to make it in time. Grab my dress and sandals before taking off, please.' I can feel her hackles raise as if I had already shifted and a low growl emanates from her. 'I'm ready when you are.' She doesn't say anything more and I immediately strip off my shoes and dress before shifting. Aanika grabs my clothing and sandals in her mouth before darting off at a high rate of speed. I know she would be howling right now if she could but her mouth was stuffed with my belongings and that makes me smile, however short lived. As she runs, I try to calm my racing thoughts and not dwell on the hurt I feel but it was a futile effort. He had promised.. but it was more than that. I had always felt more for him than I had vocalized but with the whole mate thing, I could never bring myself to do it and I thought he had felt the same. This was a deep kind of hurt I couldn't just shove in a box and tuck away and what's worse is that I had no explanation. As I try not to drown myself and Aanika in my emotions, I can feel her slowing down. 'We're just outside of the field, Sloane. Lets go get our mate.' Her words bring me to attention and I shift back, hurriedly reaching for my clothing on the ground and dressing. My mouth goes completely dry as I start walking towards the clearing. I look up at the canopy of trees above me and I feel a small sense of ease. I've always felt connected to nature but I suppose that comes with being a shifter. I make it to the edge of the clearing and look out across the sizable field. The crowds have gathered in masses, groups of shifters talking and laughing amongst themselves. Strung up lights border the field and in the center is a lighted pathway to the willow tree that holds the secrets of all of our destinies. I look up to the night sky, immediately finding the crecent shaped moon glowing starkly against the black backdrop of the sky. I make a final plea before stepping into the clearing. "Be kind to me" I walk out into in the field and I begin to follow the path up the center when heads start turning in my direction. My chest tightens at the sudden attention and my heart thrashes against my ribcage. I dig my nails into the palms of my hands and keep my sights on the tree in front of me, trying to avoid searching for a certain face within the crowd. I can hear the whispers above the frantic pounding of my heart and my eyes start to sting with tears I'm ferociously holding back. 'You've got this, Winter.' I finally close in on where I need to be and with a final deep breath, I push all the hurt and pain deep down and raise my chin as I approach. In the night time darkness, the Tree of Fate seems to radiate it's own unique light, as if it was lighted from within. Wispy tree branches sway slightly in the balmy wind, inviting me closer. I pick up a faint smell of mint and my body immediately relaxes as I come up to it, my eyes taking in it's mesmerizing beauty. Suddenly, my fixation on the tree is interrupted by a deep voice and I startle in response. "You look beautiful, Winter." I turn and look at him, his large frame towering next to mine. His light brown hair was swept back, revealing his high cheekbones and strong jawline. His bright white smile is a deep contrast to his tanned skin but the smile is genuine, reaching his umber colored eyes. "Thank you, Alpha." I softly clear my throat. "Any idea where Asher is?" His smile fades but he quickly recovers when he speaks. "I came by to pick you up but you had already left. Asher is.. here somewhere but we have just minutes. Are you ready?" My heart begins to thump rapidly again. Why did Asher send his Father to get me? Why has he been avoiding me? "Winter?" I stare up at him, wordless. "It's time. This should be your focus right now." That realization snaps something in me and I nod to him, though it does little to ease my thoughts. We turn and face the crowd as Alpha Mason begins my ceremony announcement. His voice carries through the field and cheers go up in unison. As he continues to speak, it's as if I'm all of the sudden under water. All the background noise muffles and all I can hear is my galloping heart rate. 'You're okay, Winter. Your mate got the pick of the litter, if you ask me.' Her voice once again grounds me and I fill my lungs with air before exhaling slowly. 'You're biased, Aanika.' Just as the words leave my head, Alpha Mason leans in and whispers Happy Birthday and I suddenly feel what I could only describe as a strong magnetic pull. My gaze quickly searches through the faces of the crowd before landing on the man who suddenly steps out onto the path, looking directly at me. 'Mate.'