Past Memories

AKHIEL CHAPTER THREE

I cried every night for the past few days. It's like I can't really leave. That's you!

So the night I left, I promised myself that after 5 years, I will make sure I forget you, I will forget everything about you. It's hard because I really feel like I can't do it but it's necessary because I can't do it anymore and there's really no hope.

ONE month, two months and three months until the day of Christmas and New Year comes. I want to come back because I want to greetbyou too but I can't yet, and I can't because it still hurts.

Until I come back. I came back in February because I needed to do something with my account. That's for my w*****d story. Because the lines of my story are in my account. So it is necessary to open that account again.

I came back and saw the messages from others for me. There's the one from Bam who says 'Don't leave', the same from Kess who says 'Come back sister, I miss you' and other different messages.

Arietty's and other gc's are also there.

But I didn't expect to be able to press yours. You sent me a message.

And what you said was 'Are you coming back?'

I scrolled through the messages section, I saw your chat but I didn't pay attention until I clicked on it and it opened right away so I had to reply to it and pretend to be someone else or another user of that account.

'Uhm, hi sorry I pressed because I was deleting old Convos of old users of this account, I'm really sorry.' I said and left our chat messages.

Your name popped up suddenly and you replied to it

'It's okay, but it's good to come back. Because I see the posts of your friends, they were hurt when you left.'

I didn't know what to say or reply to you so I just continued to pretend it wasn't me.

I'm not ready yet, and one more thing I see is that you're okay and happy that they're with you and not me. And yes, I am happy for you, but there is still pain in my chest.

You replied again and I did the same. Until you didn't reply, I stopped. I understand you are busy.

A few minutes before I was done with what I was going to do with my account why did I come back. My account is in offline status and then it logged out again and left.

I went back to my new account where I had just created it and I was writing stories there. I wrote the script that was created and took it to my account and posted it for the new update.

NOT long ago, it was still February when I met a man. His name is Marco. well he is also a marco user.

He is kind and easy to talk to. It turns out that his account is not open, so we rarely talk. I think it took a month for us to be friends before my account disappeared. It will only be two months before the account I just created disappears.

I'm so disappointed because I was just starting to write on that account, why did it disappear immediately? And one more thing, my supporters and readers are also many. I was hurt because it was difficult to start and increase supporters. If my first accounts were famous, it took a few months before I became famous, so was my zelenia account.

When I found out someone tried to hack my account so I couldn't open it.

It also took a few weeks before I accepted the loss of my account. I even had a hard time accepting the loss of my account because my friendship with Marco was also lost.

And/So I decided to open my crp account only there.

It was fun and I talked to a few people, some of whom are my admirers for being a poet.

I've been writing poems for it for several months but there are very few people who support it, reaching only 20-30 reacts or support from others.

But it's okay because I'm happy even if that's the only one who reacts to my poems. If at first it was only up to 10-15 reacts, I was happy, how could it be 20 to 30 reacts? Right?

But not long after that I also left my account because I don't like what's happening anymore.

A lot of things happen that I don't like and according to my plans. And I don't want that because everything I've done and worked for is ruined. I left the account after I deleted the account permanently.

THEN it's been two days since I thought about stalking you. Nothing, it's just trip trip. While searching for your name, a small pain touched my chest which caused it to hurt.

And what happened next I really can't explain. I'm in tears, I'm in tears when I see a girl's sweet tag post on you.

Hey shesh? Is it really necessary? I mean do I really have to be hurt? Because, I have no right because my only reason to do all this is because I love you.

I scrolled down and saw the secret messages of different girls to you. I don't know what I feel.

If I cry or get angry. Because.....I'm not the only one you did that to? I mean the one you drop and then just leave it at the end?

Like, all their messages have the same content? Like 'It's just me' 'I like you since we started chatting' 'I'm sorry if I liked you'

Like wth? There are so many of them as in and I'm not alone. Sheesh.

After your comments to them, are you innocent? As if you did nothing when everything is happening?

You feel too much.

Are you really attractive, that's what you're going to do? I mean, because you're attractive, you can do everything and make all the girls fall for you?

Do you hope?

Gol! Don't feel, you are too sentimental.

You can't make every girl fall for you. But this is it, I have to admit that you made me fall in love, so yes, I'm a loser! Beat me again, but you too! Because you fell in love in the fake world not just one, not just two and they are many. You are also a loser like me or like us! Let's be fair!

I left your account and went back to the real world. I'm done, my eyes are tired from crying again and again.

Maybe it's enough and I have to stop being stupid. And I'm a broken person and I've always been bullied because of you.

Well of course I got to tell my friends about you before because you are always kind, sweet, cute, protective and so on.

And now that they know that we are no longer friends, they are bullying me and yes I am hurt because it happens again and again every time we share a secret.

And they are another friend of mine, I can tell them everything. Because I couldn't help but hide everything about us because you also became close to me.

You have made me happy, and made me so strong that I will definitely tell them because I had a change when you came.

You Zayne, now that we've left, I've really changed a lot. If I was fine then, Zayne, it's been different since you left me, which really changed me and my life.

But thank you anyway for coming into my life. That somehow I experienced the true happiness that I wished to achieve in my life.

Nothing can compare to what you did/have done to me before. I'm happy because I met you and you became a part of my life.

And now I don't know if I can keep my promise that after 5 years I'll move on because it seems like now my heart is slowly getting better with what I feel for you.

But I can't guarantee that because every time I remember and go back to our past or even the things we talked about that we both like or connect to both of us, I get hurt. I'm still really hurt.