The Duty of an Alpha (Book 2)

Mates

Chapter 7

Arden POV*

Andrea stared at me like I had lost my mind, and maybe I had. I was trying to come to terms with what had happened, even though it had felt like it lasted forever, I was a bit preoccupied trying not to accidentally kill anyone to really process it.

“Oops?” Roman said from his spot on the couch. I had forgotten he was there, but as soon as he spoke, my senses were all focused on him. “You just destroyed 3 doors by running going through them when time stood still. I’m not sure ‘oops’ covers it.”

I rolled my eyes at him and ignored his statement.

“Let’s get back to you.” Andrea turned to face him. “What are you doing here?” She asked, not in a mean way, just curious.

“Teo called and told me about the attack last night.” Roman answered, deciding not to elaborate past that.

“Uh-huh.” Andrea kept glancing between the two of us, trying to read into what Roman hadn’t said. “Well then, I’ll leave you two to catch up.” She winked at me as she walked out the door.

It wouldn’t surprise me if she stayed within earshot to eavesdrop, especially since my office door was now useless.

Roman and I stared at each other for a few minutes, not knowing where to start. It used to come so easily to be around him, but things had gotten awkward after the whole mate thing. I still felt the comfort of his presence, but it was tainted by both of our anxiety of having a mate.

It was good to see him after being away from him for the last few months. The mate bond creates a strong pull, and it is unusual for mates to be separated form more than a few days. He was even more handsome than I remembered. Roman’s natural light brown skin had tanned a few shades darker, accentuating his green eyes. He still wore his dreads but had shaved the sides of his head and tied them in a pile on his head. I wanted to just stare at him all day.

“So,” Roman stood up and cleared his throat, bringing me out of the appreciative trance I had found myself in. “How is the Alpha thing going?” he asked awkwardly. I could tell he was looking past me, trying to avoid making eye contact.

“It’s been good.” I answered shyly. “I think the pack has really benefitted from it, even though many of the older members might disagree.”

“Hmm.”

“Why did you come, Roman?” I asked, jumping head first into a topic I wanted to avoid. “Did you make up your mind about us? Is that why you’re here?”

Finally, his eyes met mine. I wanted nothing more than to run the few steps between us and grab onto him, but I needed to know what he was doing here.

Please! Fae begged while she paced in my head. Even Jaxon is desperate. I can hear him whining, and all I want is to comfort him. Please, Arden, we need our mate!

My hands started shaking from my trying to resist the bond, but not knowing how Roman would react kept my feet planted.

“I told you, Teo said you were attacked.” He said, breaking eye contact again. “I just wanted to know you were safe.”

“I am, as you can see. But that didn’t answer the other question. Have you decided what you want to do about the bond?” I asked, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. I wanted so badly to accept him as my mate, but being the Alpha meant that my pack came first, just like Roman’s pack came first for him.

“I- I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about it.” He admitted, making my heart sink a little. I had also been avoiding it, but for some reason, it hurt more knowing he was doing the same. “You already know I can’t leave my pack. And I know how important this pack is for you.”

I nodded my head at him and walked over to the couch. He joined me, sitting as far to the other side as he could. The distance between us was only a few feet, but it felt like a canyon.

“I need you in my life, Arden.” He continued, “I need to know you are safe, but how are we supposed to take care of our packs if we accept each other?”

Fae whined, her sorrow over his words nearly overwhelming. My heart felt like it was about to be ripped from my chest, knowing there was a possibility that he was about to reject me.

“What are we supposed to do? We live in different states, and both run different packs.” I felt his frustration as he went through the list of all the reasons it would never work between us. “I honestly don’t know how it would work. Have you thought about this? Do you have any ideas?”

I felt the desperation in his words, and I so badly wanted to assure him that I had a plan, but I didn’t.

“I honestly don’t know either.” I said, making his face fall. “I can’t leave my pack. There have been so many women who have been silenced or abused, and it seems like every week someone finally gets to strength to stand up for themselves. Being here is helping these people, just like you help your pack.”

I stared at the wall, wishing that some sort of idea would come to me that would allow us both to keep our packs, yet also be together. Roman kept silent too, and I could sense that he was trying to control his and Jaxon’s emotions. Fae was crying in the back of my head, but even she didn’t have any idea how to get everything we wanted.

“You know what’s funny?” I asked him, but I kept my gaze on the wall. “If it wasn’t for Max k********g me, if it wasn’t for him being so crazy that the only way to stop him was to challenge him, I would have joined your pack. I was happy there. I was happy with you being my best friend, with having people I could rely on. If I would have found out you were my second chance before becoming an Alpha, there wouldn’t be a problem. I was going to join your pack, as soon as I was free from Max and his craziness. But now,” I looked at him with tears in my eyes, but he was staring straight ahead. “now I feel like I’m losing no matter what I do.”

Roman nodded his head slightly, silently agreeing with me.

“What do I do?” I whispered, my voice cracking from the tears that threatened to fall. Roman turned and looked at me, having heard my voice break. He didn’t say anything, he just moved quickly across the couch, gathering me in his arms. Tears fell silently down my face.

Being in his arms was the best I had felt in months. I hadn’t realized how much I needed his comfort. When we were avoiding the mate bond, not touching or hugging, it was easier to pretend like I was in control. But as he held me close to his chest, I realized I would never be able to give him up. I would have to find a way to be with him and keep my pack.