Surviving His Memory

Chapter 20

Ellie

He said he would marry me tomorrow if I would let him. He has no idea what I would let him do. I'm obsessed with him. He was so cute when he told me about being irresponsible. I knew what we were doing. I just couldn't bring myself to care. I'm a doctor. I know better but it wasn't relevant. I couldn't stand the idea of having something between us. If I'm honest, I'm perfectly content with getting or being pregnant with this man.

I loved Evan with everything inside me. When he died, part of me died too. Ethan woke up, and brought life back to the darkest parts of my heart. In the short time that I've known him, I have felt like myself again. Well...mostly. I dont think I'll ever be the same person that I was before. However, I'm beginning to think that it's okay. You don't lose someone as amazing as Evan was, and it not completely destroy part of you. A piece of my heart will always be Evan's, but the rest belongs to Ethan now.

I gave my heart to him, unknowingly. I'm not sure how it happened so quickly but I do know the moment I realized my heart was in real trouble. That was on our first date, in the middle of the ocean, dancing on a ship, when he kissed me stupid. Then again, when he told me that I made him want to be a better man, also, that kiss in the ocean...that is still one of my favorite moments. When I'm with him, I feel whole again. Complete. I want to be with him always. I want to be in his life, in his heart, and always within his reach.

"I love you so much.." I told him between kisses, after he lowered us to the bed. "I love you more..." The deep baritone of his voice caused goose bumps to rise all over my body. He pushes my dress over my head and tosses it on the floor. "I love you most." I chuckle when he grunts. "Impossible!"

I would have argued more but he made his way to my now bare chest. The very moment that he had my n****e in his mouth, I can't form a full thought. A small moan leaves me as he tugs, squeezes, and sucks on my sensitive peaks.

I fist his shirt in my hands and pull it up over his head. "Please Ethan. I need you inside me right now...please..." I begged. He stands beside the bed and makes quick work of the rest of his clothing. He pauses as he leans over me. "God you're perfect, El.... Absolutely perfect." His eyes travelled all over my, mostly naked form, along with dragging the very tips of his fingers. I am on overload. I need more contact. When his fingers brushed my hip bone and ran the line of my panties, I almost came undone. "Ethan...please..." I moaned.

Ethan sits back on his heals. "I like it when you beg, little warrior." He runs his hands down my legs, leaving goose bumps in his wake. God, this man is killing me. I give him the best scowl I can manage. Which only causes him to laugh at me. I can't help it. I smile too.

When he leans back over me, I stop him with a hand on his chest. "Now you have to wait. I have to pee." I told him, trying to squirm my way out from underneath him. He let out a laugh but he let me get up. He swatted my butt as I stood from the bed. I jumped and shrieked a little as I got away from him and his hand. He chuckled watching me run from him.

"Mmm...baby. Hurry up." Ethan groans just as I finished going pee. I giggled. "Now you know what it's like to wait. At least I'm not in there teasing you, Bigs", I holled back and flushed the toilet. I turned and began washing my hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him coming. I watched Ethan in the mirror. He wraps his giant arms around me, with his hands covering my stomach, and kisses my neck. "I didn't mean to tease you, babe." He tells me. He stands at his full height and makes eye contact with me in the mirror. His smile is contagious as he takes us in. I have to say the image of him and me, standing naked in the bathroom mirror is...stunning. I've never felt more beautiful in my life.

I place my hands on top of his, still on my stomach, and rub circles with my thumbs. "I know Bigs. I was just giving you a hard time..." I pressed my back against him, sinking into his embrace. "You're sure that I'm not rushing you?" He asked, now also drawing circles over my stomach. I tear my eyes away from the mirror and turn around in his arms. I stand on my toes and reach my arms up around his neck. He lowers his head for me so I can peck his lips. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life." I stare him in the eye. A slow grin forms on his face as he lowers his mouth to mine. This kiss isn't rushed. It's gentle and full of emotion. Suddenly, Ethan picks me up and sits me on the large, white bathroom counter. I open my legs for him and with one quick movement he enters me. We both moan at the sensation. My eyes immediately rolled to the back of my head. He feels so good, I can't help it.

ETHAN

In the morning, I woke before Ellie. She looks so peaceful while she sleeps. I can't bring myself to wake her again. After round one in the bathroom. I took her back to bed and continued to ravish her for as long as I could. We both fell asleep in a tangled mess of arms and legs. I woke her twice throughout the night. Once by entering her from behind and the other time, with my face buried between her legs. I wore my little warrior out. I'll have to give her a break soon. She's bound to be sore.

I kissed her forehead and rubbed her arm. Trying to wake her gently. "I'm going to go grab some breakfast for us, baby. I'll be back in a little while. Go back to sleep, princess." I whispered. She never opens her eyes, she just smiles. "Okay, Bigs. I love you." I kissed her gently. "I love you too, baby." I drug myself out of bed and took my things to the bathroom to get dressed. I don't want Ellie to hear me and wake up. I have a few things to do this morning and it would help if she slept for another hour or two.

Once I'm ready, I check on Ellie. My hands itch to touch her, but I refrain. If I touch her now, I'll never leave this room. Instead, I moved toward the door. I made sure I had my wallet, phone, and the extra key card that Ellie gave me. Before, I softly closed the door. The door let out a soft click and I let out a breath. I hadn't realized I was holding. Shew..I made it.

Pulling out my phone, I dialed my mom. I know she's awake. That woman has never slept past six in the morning. The phone rings a few times before she answers. "Hello?" She sings songs in my ear. Even with jet lag, she's predictable. "Hey, Ma. How was your night?" She laughs. "June and Shawn are a hoot together. My cheeks and tummy are sore from laughing. I don't know if it was better than your night, but we had a ball." Her words made me blush instantly. Swallowing my spit wrong, and choked on the phone. Her laughter rings in my ears. "Oh..dear boy. You've got it bad." My mom chokes over her own laughter. God love her. Her snorting laughter causes me to chuckle. "I really do, Ma. I need to talk to you and dad. Where are you?" I asked, once her laughter died down. "Oh..we're in the lobby. You know your father. He was hunting for a coffee as soon as he opened his eyes." I chuckled. "Alright. I'll see you in about a minute," I told her. We said goodbye and hung up the phone.

When I walk into the lobby and spot my parents, my hands are sweating. My mother notices me first and smiles. I watch her as she notices me wiping my hands on my pants. I'm nervous and now she knows it. A slow smile spreads across her face as she returns her eyes to mine. I ignored her questioning gaze for a minute as we said good morning. My dad folds the newspaper he was reading, when I sit down next to my mom. "What is it Ethan?" My mom asks, rubbing my back. I blow out a nervous breath, allowing her comfort to sink into my bones. "I'm going to marry her, Ma." I finally tell her. "Yeah...we know." My dad says from across the table. My mom chuckles. "We knew before we met her. We could hear it in your voice. Then last night. Watching the two of you...there's no doubt in our minds that you two are meant for one another." I look at my mom, who has tears in her eyes. "I can't explain it and to be honest, I don't want to. I just want to live in it. When you get back home, do you think you could send Grandma's ring? I want Ellie to wear it." My mother's tears fell with my words. "Don't cry Ma. You know we hate that." I told her, gesturing between my dad and I. "These are happy tears. I'm so proud of you. You've been patient and waited for her. Like I said before. We had a hunch that you would wife her. So I brought the ring with me. I can go get it from the room." Mom stands from her seat at the table. "Thanks, Ma. I love you." She hugs me from behind. "I love you too. My precious baby boy." I rolled my eyes with a chuckle. She refuses to stop calling me that. Honestly, I'm used to it.

After mom left to go to their room. My dad reaches across the table to slap my shoulder. "There's nothing like it. Is there?" He smiles and I return it. "Not even close. She's got me all tied up. I loved her the moment I met her." I told him honestly. "I told you. Us Frost men, when we find what we need, we know it. We don't let go." He says. "The night of her first date. I told her then, that I wasn't ever letting go." I chuckled. He laughs. "I said something similar to your mother. She didn't take it well at first. I honestly think that she thought I was crazy. It didn't take her long to be eating out of my hand though. She was just being stubborn." I laughed this time. My mother is the epitome of stubborn. We've joked for years that the dictionary should picture her under that very word.

Dad and I continued our easy banter until my mom returned a few minutes later. She's grinning from ear to ear when she hands me the little black box. I open it. As soon as I lay my eyes on it, my stomach flipped over. This is really happening. "I have to speak with June." I said, suddenly standing from the table, closing the box with a snap. I hear a throat clear from behind me.

I whip around and standing there is Ellie's friend, Diane. She has her hands on her hips and a grin on her face. "I'm sorry to intrude, and I won't tell her. But I was wondering....how soon do you plan to ask her?" She asks me. "You really don't miss anything, do you?" I ask her with a laugh. "I tried to tell you that already.." Diane says laughing. She found out who I was before I told Ellie. I almost had to do a blood oath, promising to tell her before things went too far. "Well she'll be with all you ladies tonight. So maybe tomorrow? I have no idea, but soon," I told her. Her smile widens. "I have an idea...if you're up for it?" Her eyes twinkle with mischief and I chuckle again.

After I introduced my parents to Diane, she reveals her plan. She's going to get all of the girls to help and I think Ellie will love it. She loves all of her new friends here. She will love that they are there with us. "Now let's all just pray that she says yes." I tell them with clear nerves in my voice. My dad laughs. "The nerves are the worst part." He continues to laugh. I blew out another breath. "I don't know why your nervous. She's just as crazy about you," Diane says. I gave her a tight-lipped smile and thanks. "Don't thank me, just take care of her. El's been taking care of herself for a long time now."

After exchanging numbers, for our plan to work, Diane bids our table a see ya later. "Alright, I really have to find June now...or this entire plan goes up in smoke." I stand from the table. "It's going to be fine, Ethan." My mom tells me again and hugs my neck. "Thanks, Ma. Love you guys and, hopefully, I'll see you tonight."

I finally left the lobby. I'm headed for June's room. I'm glad I helped with her bag yesterday. That makes this easier. My heart is pounding in my ears. The small black box in my pocket suddenly feels like an anchor, but I still arrive at her door before I'm ready. I'm not proud of it, but I stand in the middle of the hallway and stare at her door. I'm still trying to settle my nerves and anxious energy when June swings her door open. "Come on in young man. I think we have a few things to talk about. Don't you?" She winks at me as she throws the door open and walks back into the room. I bet my mother had something to do with June expecting me. I followed her without a word. This is my mother's nudge of encouragement, making sure I didn't back out. I have to do this right.

June walks through her suite and sits on the couch. "Ha! It's alright...I don't bite." She laughs at me as she picks up her coffee from the table. She gestures for me to sit, so I do. I blow out a slow breath and she chuckles again. June doesn't say anything, she just sips her coffee and waits for me to get my s**t together. Finally, feeling a little better, I turned to face her. "I came here because you are the most important person in Ellinora's life. I need you to know that you will always be her mother. That will never come into question. She needs you, so I need you. I love her. I..." The words fall on my lips as June smiles. "Keep going! You're doing great!..." She gestures in the air with the hand, not holding her coffee. The nerves begin to melt away. I smiled for the first time since leaving the lobby. "I want to marry her, June. I want to give her my last name and make precious little babies with her. But I need your blessing. I want to do it tonight. Her friend Diane, offered to help. But it wouldn't be right without your blessing." The nerves returned full force as I watched June's eyes fill with tears.

I was about to lose my mind, until June finally grabbed my forearm gently. "Thank you for bringing my girl back. When my son was alive, he called her Nora. That girl would glow in his presence. I have no doubt in my mind that she loved him..." June smiled at me again before continuing. "When she decided she wanted everyone to call her Ellie, it was easy to do...she simply wasn't Nora anymore. Until you, that is. I could feel her happiness on the phone. When I saw her with you last night and the way you look at each other...I saw my Nora. I love that girl like my own. My son looked at her the way you do...he would want you for her. He would want her to be this happy. So to answer your question, yes! Marry my girl, Ethan, and give me those precious little grandbabies you promised." Every word she spoke sparked emotions inside me.

I smile through my tears. "I'm so, incredibly sorry for both of your losses. Everything I have heard about Evan, sounds like he was a great man. Ellie will always love him and I know that. It's just another thing to love about her. I'll take care of her, I promise!" She nodded at my words. "I know you will." She let her hand rest on my forearm again.

After showing June my grandmother's ring. The one I intend to give to Ellie tonight, her tears finally fall. "She'll love it! I'm so happy for you both." June says, giving me a hug. "She still has to say yes..." I tell her. My nerves are sitting like a boulder in my gut. "Oh honey. She'll say yes. I don't doubt that." Her reassurance helped to settle my nerves a little.

I continued to chat with June for a while. Before finally, hugging her goodbye. I have to get the breakfast I had promised my woman and get back to her. I wonder if she's awake yet? If not, I bet I could sneak in bed with her for a little while longer...