Surviving His Memory

Chapter 9

Ethan

Sitting with her is a dream. Ellie is the most amazing woman I have ever met. Throughout dinner, I enjoyed our easy conversation. Of course, I still tried to steer the conversation away from my work. I know I should tell her. Especially after she told me about her late husband, but, I like that she doesn't know who I am. It's rare to have the chance to get to know someone, as me. Not the man that I give to the world, but the real me.

I'll tell her, just not yet. I made a deal with her friend Diane and I will honor it. I am a man of my word. For now, I want to enjoy every single moment with Ellie Grace. When she smiles, her entire face lights up. If she laughs, the most adorable dimple graces her cheek. This woman has me completely enchanted.

I led her to the dance floor and I felt like the luckiest man there. Hell, the luckiest man on the island. Her waist is thin but not too thin. Ellie has beautiful curves. I can feel the power she holds. Ellie is strong and my God, is she beautiful. I spin her around as we dance, causing her to giggle. With the soft lights from the boat and the moon shining above us, she looks like a goddess and she's here with me. Not Ethan Frost, quarterback of the Pennsylvania Hawks, just Ethan. Just me.

She doesn't know or care about my status. You don't have to tell me that I need to come clean with her. I know I do. I just can't bring myself to burst the bubble around us. The last woman I was serious about was only serious about being the wife of a quarterback. She only wanted the status. I almost asked her to marry me before I realized who she really was. Six months after our split, she was engaged and pregnant by another quarterback in the league. I'm glad I saw the light before I made a huge mistake.

"Well, you seem serious all of a sudden. Care to share what's on your mind?" Ellie asks, looking up at me. "I was just thinking about how glad I am that we are here right now. I've had a few great moments in my life, but this one is quickly becoming my favorite. I've been trying to figure out what it is about you that makes me want to be a better man. Truth is, everything. Everything about you makes me want to be better. I want to make you smile because you light up a room when you do. I want to make you laugh, for my own selfish reasons..." I trail off. I meant to keep most of that to myself. After all, we just met a couple of days ago. I would be lying if I said I'd thought of anything or anyone else since yesterday on the beach. She has captivated my mind, but I do not want to scare her.

Ellie is quiet for a beat. I knew I over shared. "I'm glad we are here right now too." She finally says, holding eye contact. It's almost as if there's an invisible string pulling me toward her. "Would it be alright if I kissed you?" I barely whispered as I cupped her cheek. Our faces only inches apart. "Yes." She barely got the word out before I covered her lips with my own. Stars burst behind my eyelids. I forget where we are and how many eyes are around us. I kissed her with everything I had. Her body melts into mine like she was made to fit perfectly against me. When we pull apart for air, her shy smile is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. We continue to dance, much closer now. When she places her head on my chest, I feel her body relax. I wish I could stay in this moment forever.

All too soon, the ship's horn sounds on our arrival at the dock. Passengers began lining up to depart. I'm not ready for Ellie to not be in my arms yet, but all too soon she starts putting distance between us. Moments later, we find ourselves walking off the ship. Her hand once again tucked into the bend of my arm.

"I don't want tonight to be over yet." I told her honestly. "Me either but I also want my feet out of these shoes. So I'm torn." She tells me with a laugh. "How about we go back to the hotel? You can go to your room and change. We could get a drink and maybe take a walk on the beach?" I'm praying she says yes. She begins to nod and says, "that sounds great to me. I can't believe how bad my feet hurt. This is what I get, for abandoning my heels for so long." By the time she finishes, she is groaning with every step. Approaching the car, I told her, "I never thought I would say this, but I wish you didn't have a short dress on. I would have carried you." I told her as she finally slid into the car. I was tempted even with the short dress. I dislike watching her face contort in pain. I want to take it all away. She smiled at me as she slid over to the other side. "I appreciate the offer but I'm being a little dramatic. I just hate it when my feet hurt. When I went to college, I refused to wear anything other than heels. I went through hell with my feet for the first week or two. Then I had mastered it. I stuck by that vow until the day after Evan died. I wore flats from then on, even to the funeral, and I haven't worn heels until the red ones the other night...I'm not exactly sure why." She told me. "Why did you vow to wear only heels to begin with?" I asked her out of curiosity. The funeral must have been so hard for her. My heart breaks a little more for my little warrior. I never understood why a woman would put herself through so much pain for a pair of shoes though. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I noticed Ellie's demeanor had changed. She was stiff, almost rigid now. "In high school I was bullied a lot, mostly because I was always small." She told me, looking at her lap. I hate bullies. I hate that people were ever mean to her. That they ever hurt her. I especially hate that Lori just did the same thing to her. I reached for her chin, lifted her head, and looked into her beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry, warrior princess. They were wrong. You are perfect." I told her with as much sincerity as I could convey. She gave me a small smile and I couldn't help myself. I slowly closed the space between us and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

I placed my forehead against hers, still gently holding her jaw with my finger tips. "Thank you for tonight." She tells me with her eyes still closed. "Tonight isn't over yet but you're so very welcome, Ellie Grace. I'm glad you came with me. I've had a great time." I told her. We haven't moved and I never want to. I could sit here, just like this, for the foreseeable future. Instead of risking that she'll find me creepy, I slowly kiss her forehead and pull away.

All too soon, we're pulling up in front of our hotel and I know I'll have to let her walk away from me again. However, this time it's with the promise that she would return. Thank God!

We find ourselves standing just inside the front doors. "Still on for our walk, right?" I ask hopefully. "Yes. Of course. Would you like to come with me? I'll be fast. I promise." She tells me with a heart-stopping smile. "Yeah. I'd love to escort you, my beautiful warrior." At least I don't have to watch her leave. Now I just have to control myself while we are in her room. I can do this. My mother raised a gentleman.

Hand in hand we made our way down the familiar hallways. Ellie leads me through every turn. Then she stops at a door and my stomach flips as my heart stutters. Releasing my hand, she makes quick work of the key card and pushes the door open. Here we go. I am a gentleman. I am a gentleman. I am a gentleman.

Ellie kicks her shoes off as soon as she clears the door. When her tiny little bare feet flattened on the floor, she let out a low moan. Every single part of my body responds to the sound. I'm no longer thinking about being a gentleman.