Tainted Dreams
1207 Words
Within an hour Aiden is sitting on my couch and Grant is hidden in the guest bedroom. I know I was terrible to Grant and I wish I could take it back. My brain has been too preoccupied with thoughts of Aiden and it made me ruthless with my words. Seeing Aiden right in front me, us being alone, sort of mitigates the guilt. Once Aiden and I are together, I can focus on making things right with Grant.
Aiden twists his head to look at me and shows me his perfect grin. "Come sit by me."
"If you insist." I plop next to this beautiful man, noticing his large, tanned arm muscles propped up on the armrest.
He lifts his arm up and wraps it around me, pulling me in. "So, tonight was pretty crazy."
I couldn't agree more. "That's an understatement."
He rubs my shoulder. "I'm really sorry about what I said. That was messed up of me."
"You're entitled to your preferences."
"I genuinely like that you're so pure and there's definitely something between us. It's just that I've been multiple girls' first and it hasn't ended well. Alec refuses to ever be in that position because of how it's gone for me. I'm paranoid though, I know you're different."
I do something brave and place my hand on his. "You're afraid of me, it's okay to admit it."
I feel his laugh run through me since we're sitting so close together. "That's what I'm trying to say. I don't think I'm as afraid of being with you as I should be."
I search his green eyes, ready to call his bluff but he looks sincere. "Stop, I'm too drunk for this conversation."
"I'm sorry. I'll drop it."
I let out a deep breath. "You don't get it. If you keep acting like this, I'm going to do something stupid Aiden."
"Like what?"
I look away from him. "I sent Grant away because I wanted to continue this talk." I don't fully answer his question, but I hinted at what I mean.
Aiden's lifts my head up. "What? He told me he was upset after his breakup and felt like he'd drank too much to keep you safe."
"Breakup?"
"You didn't know?"
Great. Now I feel like an even bigger jerk. "I didn't even know he was talking to anyone."
"Zephyrine, they've been talking for months now."
I shake my head, as if it'll somehow make him wrong. "No they weren't, he would've told me about her."
Aiden laughs. "He has. He's talked about her when we were all hanging out, when you were there."
"Well, why I haven't I met her then?" I counter.
He shrugs. "He invited you out to meet her so many times, you were always busy."
I grew angry out of nowhere. I'm not sure if I was mad at him for pushing this or myself for being a crappy friend to Grant. "Okay, can we please change the topic from me being a lousy friend to something positive?"
"Sure, what stupid thing do you think you'll do if I keep acting like this?" He put quotes around keep acting like this.
"I don't want to say." I put my head on his shoulder. "This is scary for me."
His voice is softer than I've ever heard it. "Why is this scary?"
I squeeze my eyes shut. "I don't feel like I'm good enough for you."
Aiden's hand grazes my cheek. "That's not true! Can I ask what you want to happen here?"
"I want you, but I can't..." I'm cut off my Aiden's soft lips. I lift myself up and move further into him. The kiss is everything I remember it being and more. I thought maybe there'd be more buildup to it, but if you count the time I'd been wanting this, it was more than long enough to wait.
He pulls me onto his lap and talks against my lips. "I want you just as bad."
"Liar! You literally just slept with someone else hours ago." I wasn't about to mention that I'd kissed a stranger 2 hours ago.
He ignores my comment and kisses me. He kisses me with so much passion it makes my head spin. Or was it the alcohol? I didn't know or care anymore.
"I want you to be my first." I mumble into his neck, earning a groan from him.
He moves his head back to look at me. "Are you sure?"
I don't hesitate. "Yes."
"Okay." His voice trembles. I can tell he's nervous, but I still don't understand why. "Just promise me you won't freak out on me after."
A strange and unfamiliar feeling comes over me. There's something about his wording that unsettles me. I don't like it. I like him though, so I bury my concern. "I'm not going to freak out, I'm not like that. Let's go back to my room, okay?"
"Right behind you." He gets off the couch as if he has arthritis. At least he cares about me enough to see this as a big deal.
I go into my room and lay on the bed, doing my best to look seductive. He enters after me, smiling. "You're so cute."
"Cute isn't exactly what I was going for."
He sits next to me on the bed. "Hey, I like cute."
Aiden kisses me as he presses my back into the mattress. I savor the moment, watching my dream play out in front of me. I pictured us going on a date beforehand, but nothing is ever perfect. He leaves a trial of kisses down my neck, causing me to tug on his curls. I lift my hands so he can get my shirt off, which he does. Then, he removes my jeans, with a sweet stomach kiss that gives me shivers. I do as I've heard I'm supposed to and try to free him of his shirt. I'm thinking about how incredible I feel when he grabs my hand and stops me from going further.
"I can't." He says between staggered breaths.
My instinct is to cover up my chest. I look at him, fully clothed and get embarrassed in my lingerie. "What? What's wrong? I'm sorry, I assumed that was the next step. Did I do it wrong?"
He looks upset. "No, Zephyrine, it wasn't you. I can't make myself go through with taking your virginity."
"Oh." I can't decide if I want to slap him across the face or run to the bathroom and cry.
He gets off the bed. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, why would I be mad?" I say through gritted teeth. "I'm happy to be in my freaking lingerie while you're completely dressed. I should thank you actually."
He stands in my way. "I'm really sorry, I thought I could do it."
I hit his chest. "You couldn't have told me that before you undressed me?"
"I'm sorry."
I glare at him. "You know you're the first person to see me like this?"
He shakes his head. "I didn't know."
"You knew I never hooked up with anyone, couldn't you have assumed?" I step back from him. "You know what? Get out of my house."
- Writer
