ALTERNATIVE Version of My Best Friend Grant

My crush on him was all-consuming. My heart and mind were no longer mine, but completely his when he wanted to claim them. It was a day-dream kind of love. I spent endless hours creating detailed scenarios in my head based on a single word he spoke to me. My mind is a contortionist, twisting things like him saying he was glad to see me into him asking me if I liked seeing him. The conclusion was always within the realm of possibility, which tricked my brain into thinking I didn't need proof I was right. I imagined how he would ask me out, what he'd joke about while we were on a date, future fights we'd have once we were together, all of it. I don't like being that girl, but it's who he made me. Unfortunately, like most guys who were the object of a girl like me's affection, he had no idea. I've liked him for years now, but we were always just friends in his eyes. Like most girl's like me who fell for a guy through their own delusion, I got hurt. I barely acknowledged the girl beside me with silky, long black hair and deep brown eyes (that I swear have stars in them) that was looking at me with disdain. That's my best friend, Vanessa, the girl who is incapable of looking like a mess. She always stands by my side and tonight was no exception. "Z, don't you think you've had enough? That's your 3rd shot in like 2 minutes and you can't even handle one." I swivel the bar stool I'm sitting on away from her, not wanting her to reason with me. Reason was the last thing on my mind right now. "Thank you for the concern, but I'm fine, really. One shot isn't going to get the image of them making out erased from my memory and four shots won't kill me. This is me having fun." She turned my chair back, forcing me to meet her worried eyes. "I know you're hurting but the memory will only be erased temporarily if you use alcohol. I have a better plan, let's go dance." I jump off my stool like an uncoordinated toddler, elated at her suggestion. "Good idea! I want you to record me dancing with a hot guy." Vanessa scrambles after me. "That's not what I meant!" "I know, but I just want to test him one last time." I hold up one finger. "If he doesn't react to me dancing with another guy, then that's my clear signal that he doesn't like me." Vanessa grabs my arm, stopping me from moving but not from scanning the crowd for a victim. "Zephyrine, you've said that about the last five tests you've given him. The last one didn't go so well. You ended up setting him up on a blind date and found them making out the same night in case you forgot." I cover my ears, my drunkenness making me immature. "Can we please not talk about that?" She sighs. "Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" Vanessa had been supporting my crush for years, but I could tell she was reaching her breaking point. She wants this to end as badly as I do but we have different ideas on how to go about that. My dear friend thinks of men as complications whereas I see them (my crush in particular) as additions to my chaotic life, not a hindrance. I wish I could turn my feelings off, but they've always been intense and out of my control, almost to the point of embarrassment. The weird thing is nobody but V knows. I am so insanely into this guy that I know his favorite socks but no one has a clue I even like him. At times I feel crazy because I can hide it so well. Regardless, V and I have a lot of fun with me having this crush, to the point where we've given him a code name. Vanessa gets crushes as often as one finds a unicorn, maybe even less. However, when she does catch feelings for a lucky man, he gets a code name too and we always believe our crushes will be best friends, like us. I give her my sweetest smile. "I just want one dance with a good-looking stranger. Just one dance then I'll quit talking about it." I watch her eyes shift, her empathy winning over. "Okay, one dance but then you and I are dancing together, agreed?" My smile widens. "Agreed!" We dance just enough to blend in but not look too preoccupied to be approached. I look from man to man and I see Vanessa slyly doing the same. The problem with these dance clubs is that it seems all the pretty men are taken. Every guy that looks like my type (as far as I can tell in the dimly lit room) has their arm around someone. I start to feel discouraged. "What about him?" My perceptive best friend asks, pointing to a muscular man with light brown curly hair and an enticing smile. My heart misses a beat when I realize he's looking this way. He's holding a red solo cup in the corner by himself, eyes glued in our direction. I glance from him to Vanessa, processing. "I think he's looking at you, V." She laughs. "No he's not!" Vanessa's fatal flaw was not knowing she was a man-killer. She steals the show in any room she enters but is oblivious of the attention she's receiving. I dance some distance between us and watch as his eyes stay locked on Vanessa without faltering an inch. Vanessa and I laugh at his inability to be discreet. "He's confident, I'll give him that." She keeps trying to look at him without letting him know she's looking at him. "Do you think he's a model or something?" I pat her on the back. "He's your model. Go get him tiger!" She shakes her head. "This is not about me picking up a guy, this is about you and A..." "His name is banned from this conversation! This just became about you picking up some guy, so deal with it." I move to the music, the shots making me feel like I'm on top of the world. She glares at me disapprovingly. "You were crying ten minutes ago, Z." I roll my eyes. "Well, now I'm happy and tipsy, keep up! If you insist on making this not a date for you, then bring him here and we'll all dance." Her eyes travel back to the playboy and she nods. "Fine, I'll get him over here but only for your little mission of self-destruction." I put my hand on my heart. "Thanks for enabling me!" "What are friends for." Her smile shakes a little as she bravely approaches the guy. I have a strong urge to hit her when I see her point to me. I am angry that she would go up to a guy that's clearly into her and even remember my name, but I'm not surprised. After heavy eye contact and amused looks from the guy, I watch him follow Vanessa to where I was dancing horribly. Vanessa touches his arm flirtatiously when they get to me, earning my respect. "This is the friend I was telling you about, Zephyrine." I smile pleasantly at him, unable to look away from his eyes. "Nice to meet you Mr. Purple Eyes." He chuckles and reaches out a hand that I shake graciously. "Likewise, Ms. Tiny. I'm Enzo." I bump into Vanessa's shoulder. "Tiny? I think we'll keep him." Enzo looks amused. "Your friend here, who refuses to tell me her name, told me that you need my help?" I squint. "Shut up, I just noticed your accent! Don't tell me you're from Australia. I do need your help. I hope you can dance Mr. Purple Eyes." "Fine, I won't tell you." He grins. "I'll do my best to look like I can dance." Vanessa urges him on. "Get over there and dance with her then!" He steps towards me. "Crickey! I'm on it love." I look up at him, moving to the beat awkwardly. He grabs me by the waist and puts my arms around his shoulders making me gasp. I had never had a man do that to me before and I can only pray it'll happen again someday.