Elle’s Dilemma: between love and loyalty

What do you do when the happily ever after you believed you had turns into your worst nightmare? How do you survive the pain and betrayal from the one person you called home? I stood at the doorway of our bedroom, overhearing my husband talk to his best friend on the phone. My feet felt glued to the floor as they trembled uncontrollably. I couldn't breathe or move. My mind went numb, unable to process what I had just overheard. I vividly remember the day I met Ashton; it felt so unreal and unexpected. I became a fan of his seven years ago after I lost my parents, and his songs brought me comfort. When the house felt too empty and everything became heavy, I could listen to his music and fall asleep easily. I ran into Ashton at Su’s birthday party in Seoul, and it felt like I was finally breathing properly again. But this moment, right here, shattered everything I had always believed in. My feet kept urging me to move, but I couldn’t—I was trapped. Tears streamed down my face repeatedly. I forced my body to obey. “Just one step,” I whispered. My feet shifted on the hardwood floor with a faint sound that alerted Ashton, who froze. Every muscle in his back tensed. Slowly, he turned around; his face was pale as he stared at my tear-streaked face. I knew he didn’t expect I would be back so soon. He thought he had more time, but time had betrayed him. His lips trembled as he called out my name. “Elle...” My name sounded foreign to my ears. I stood there emotionless, tears still running down my cheeks. Carefully, he took a step closer, grasping my hands. “Please... let me explain.” I shook my head silently and unconsciously flinched away from his touch. “Don't come close,” I said, moving away from him. My voice was quiet, too quiet. He went still immediately. “Elle... please, it's not what you think.” He desperately tried to explain, but honestly, I didn't know what to feel, I couldn't feel. “Elle, baby?” “It's not what I think... how stupid do you think I am?” I said sarcastically, “Oh... I guess I was too naive and stupid to see through your lies.” He angrily brushed his hands through his hair. He was clearly frustrated; his movements sharp and violent. “It was never meant to end like this,” he said, tears of desperation streaming down his face. “At first, it was out of pity and guilt, but now it's not. I love you, Elle, and you know it.” I felt humiliated, betrayed, and devastated. He held onto me tightly and knelt. “Elle... I'm sorry.” I shook my head weakly. “Do you realize what you were to me?” My voice trembled. He took a shaky step forward. “Elle, please—” “No,” I said, my voice cracking. “You were the reason I woke up each morning. You made life easier to bear.” He bit his lips almost drawing blood. “You were the one good thing that happened to me after my parents' death.” “Please, Elle, don't do this,” he whispered. “I have always loved you, and you know it.” I laughed hysterically. “No... I don't.” “Please let me go,” I gently pleaded. “No,” his voice cracked. “I love you, Elle,” he said, tears falling freely. I was exhausted. “I can't do this.” “I'm sorry, you can't go on without me, and I can't live without you. We need to think about the baby,” he said, placing his palms on my stomach. I immediately stopped struggling as I remembered I was just 8 weeks pregnant with our child. “I'm so sorry, Elle. I promise to make it up to you for the rest of our lives.” I was crying uncontrollably. The thought of being with him anymore, knowing his family was the reason my parents are dead, was unbearable. I looked up at the ceiling, tears streaming down my face, and screamed. My voice was filled with pain and betrayal. The raw sound echoed through the walls of the apartment. Ashton was startled. “Elle...” “Why!” I shouted to no one in particular, finally snatching my hands away forcefully, surprising both Ashton and myself. I stumbled backward and dashed out of the room. “Elle, wait,” I heard, but I didn’t stop. I ran out of the apartment with tears blurring my vision, stumbling into the elevator. Ashton was hot on my heels. I hurriedly pressed the button, and the doors closed behind me. With tears streaming down my face, I ran out of the complex and straight into the busy streets of Los Angeles. I wasn't thinking; tears blurred my vision. All I knew was I had to get away from Ashton and the terrible truth. My feet hit the pavement hard as I stepped off the sidewalk and into the street. Then, I heard it—a horn blaring too close. I froze. My breath caught in my throat. Frightened, I looked up and saw two cars heading straight for me. For a moment, I stood stunned, confused, and paralyzed. I heard screams and tires screeching. At that moment, I thought of my parents. Then I calmed down. If this were the only way to end this pain, so be it. I closed my eyes tightly and waited for the impact. Voices shouted from afar, but it all sounded distant. Then— “Elle!” I heard my name. His voice was raw and desperate, followed by an impact and a violent shove. My body was thrown sideways violently. The force tore the air from my lungs. I felt my head hit the ground. Pain exploded through my body, white flashes blurred my vision, and finally, I surrendered to the darkness.