It Was Only Ever Erin

Chapter 3 - Jason?

*5 years later*

Erin’s P.O.V

‘I love my job, I love my job, I love my job’

This was my new mantra, so as not to experience a complete mental and emotional break down. Medical school, as I predicted, was kicking my ass. It occupied every second of my sleeping and waking hours. We’d recently started doing clinical rotations at the teaching hospital which was a whole new level of stress and anxiety in itself, meeting and treating real patients. Our professors had also made it clear that any time we weren’t at the hospital, we should be endlessly studying which meant that down time was a thing of the past.

Where my teachers at high school and college had always pushed me to achieve my full potential through encouragement and inspiration, my medical school professors preferred the approach of scaring the living s**t out of us by telling us what would happen if we f****d up – you’ll have a dead person on your hands. My ‘favourite’ professor’s catch phrase was “what are you gonna tell your dead patient’s family, huh?”. Needless to say, these were the words that haunted me every second of every day.

Of course, I had thought about quitting a million times but I had come too far and worked too hard to give up now; not to mention how much money my parents had invested in my education. Nope, giving up was not an option. I’d just have to keep myself going with my many, many mantras.

“I love my job”

“Just 2 more years of medical school”

“You’re top of your class”

“What would Meredith Grey do?”

Today had been a particularly bad day. I was exhausted, starving, had a blinding headache and had had patients endlessly complaining at me all day. It was now 11pm and I was in my car on my way back to my shitty little apartment.

My closest friends in my classes at medical school house-shared with each other. Not me, I lived miles away from the teaching hospital so that I could live as close as possible to Mom and Elliot. Dad had died three years ago in a car accident and it was safe to say that Mom wasn’t even slightly coping. Her self-care had gone out the window and her depression medication meant that she was unable to drive herself anywhere. I therefore had to visit a lot to do the food shopping, cook her a decent meal a few times a week and make sure she showered and got some sleep. Elliot, being 12 when Dad had died, had no idea how to cope with any of it and quickly started getting in with the wrong crowd at school, staying out late and doing god knows what else. I hardly saw him when I went over but when I did, I was lucky if I got three words out of him and if I even hinted at having a serious conversation, he’d be out the door.

Of course, the one person I actually wanted to talk to about all of this, who could tell me how to handle everything and encourage me to carry on, was dead. What with Mom being a wreck and Elliot off the rails, I guess my grief would just have to be put on hold.

So there I was, slowly crumbling away at the wheel of my car. The streets were completely empty and I was stopped at a red light, allowing the other non-existent drivers their right of way. I just stared straight ahead, not noticing the lights change from red to green and back again several times.

Suddenly I heard yelling and as I looked to my left, I saw four guys next to a car, getting in each other’s faces and generally acting like morons. ‘Seriously do you have nothing better to do?’ I thought to myself. In the part of the city where I live, this kind of thing is not unusual. It’s widely known that this is the dodgy side of town where you’re never more than a block away from a hooker or a dealer. My life ladies and gentlemen.

The yelling intensified and one of the guys started waving and jabbing something at the others. It didn’t even occur to me that I had been sat stationary now at the lights for a good 5 minutes. Without warning there was suddenly a huge bang and instantly I thought my car had backfired. My head span towards the men to see if they had noticed me staring at them like a weirdo; the last thing I needed was a confrontation with 4 angry men in a deserted street. As I looked however, I noticed that two of the men were now speeding off in the car and the other two were on the ground. That’s when it hit me – s**t, my car didn’t backfire.

Without thinking I got out of my car and sprinted towards the men on the floor. Any self-respecting paramedic would tell you not to run towards the scene of an incident without first reviewing if it is safe or not, lest you become another casualty yourself – clearly, I’m an i***t. As I reached the men, I saw one kneeling over the other, pushing down on his shoulder which was bleeding profusely. The injured man seemed to be losing consciousness, but the kneeling man looked up as he heard me approaching.

“Get the f**k out of here!”

“I’m a doctor, I can help.” Not exactly true yet but I held my unarmed hands up hoping the man would let me nearer. He looked at me, clearly thinking hard about something. ‘Take your sweet f*****g time’ I thought to myself, glancing at his bleeding friend.

“…shit, okay,” he muttered as he moved to one side. I knelt beside the man on the floor and removed my (purely decorative for 70 degree weather, though now quite useful) scarf.

“I need to tie this round the wound, help me lift his shoulder.” As his friend rolled him slightly, I quickly slipped my scarf around his shoulder and could see the bullet had left an exit wound. I tied the scarf tightly around it and re-applied the pressure. The man looked strangely familiar but also half-way in and out of consciousness. Priorities Erin.

“What’s his name?”

“Jason.”

“Okay, Jas-” … no… I tilted my head to look at him straight on, “Oh my God, Jason? Jason!”

“What? What is it?” his friend asked panicking.

“I know him! Jason can you hear me?” I took his face in my hands.

“What? How?”

“We went to school together.” Jason’s eyes closed completely and, in that moment, it felt as though all clear thinking had completely gone out the window. “No no no no no, Jason!…”

“What the f-… Erin?” The sudden use of my name taking me by surprise, I looked up at kneeling man who was staring at me in wide-eyed disbelief.

“…Ollie?” What was this, some kind of f*****g high school reunion?!

“Oh s**t-”

“Ollie you need to call an ambulance.”

“No.” Well that’s not what I was expecting?

“What? No? What do you mean no?”

“He can’t go to a hospital.”

“Ollie what the f**k? He’s been shot!”

“Yeah I can see that Erin, he can’t go to a hospital!”

“Why the f**k not?”

“’Cause if he goes to the hospital, he goes to prison!”

“…What?!”

“When the hospital finds out that they have one of the city’s biggest drug dealers in their beds who do you think they’re gonna call, huh?”

I think it’s safe to say that in this moment there were a lot of things going through my head. Firstly, Jason, my high school crush from 5 years ago was lying on the ground, shot, unconscious and quickly bleeding to death. Secondly, that same high school crush was apparently a high-profile drug dealer now, who knew? And thirdly, I couldn’t take my bleeding, dying high school crush to the hospital, or else he will be arrested and sent to prison. Hm…

“I need to get him to the loft; we have a private doctor we can call.” Ollie murmured.

“How far away is that?”

“About a half hour drive.”

“s**t that’s not close enough, he’ll have bled out by then.”

“Then what do you suggest huh?!”

There was a long pause as I mulled over our options. Oh I was so gonna regret this…

“… get him in my car.”

“I said we can’t take him to the f*****g hospital!”

“Yeah, I heard you Ollie, we can go to my place, it’s a 3 minute drive. I have some medical supplies there, it’s not much but what other choice do we really have right now?” After another long pause and having clearly decided that there was indeed no other option, Ollie swore under his breath and helped me hoist Jason up by his waist and good shoulder, carrying/dragging him into the back of my car. As we jumped into the front seats I sped off towards my apartment. Well… this isn’t exactly how I thought tonight was gonna go.

“I swear to god Erin if you rat us out to anyone-”

“Who the f**k am I gonna tell Ollie? You think I’m just gonna call the cops and tell them that I aided and abetted a bleeding felon who I’m now hiding in my apartment?!” I really hadn’t thought this through had I? After yelling this in his face Ollie looked at me in surprise and decided not to push me any further on the matter. We spent the rest of the drive in nervous silence until, after what felt like hours, we made it to my front door.

“Jesus, this is where you live?” Ollie grimaced, looking up at my shoddy apartment building.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, is this not the five-star accommodation you were expecting?” I rolled my eyes, opening the door and taking hold of Jason’s waist to help carry him up the stairs.

“I thought doctors made a decent amount of money?”

“I’m a medical student, I won’t make decent money for about 10 years.”

As we pushed ourselves in through my front door, I led Ollie straight through to my room and we laid Jason on the bed.

Right, what the f**k do we do now?